Warning // This Post Contains Talk About Sex, Bodily Functions and HGTV

[this blog post would be ugly without a picture so here it is, the obligatory "make your post not ugly" photo]

You girls, can we just talk about something for a minute? You know the thing I'm talking about - those times where you are out for a nice leisurely run or walk and it hits you like a ton of bricks. Yes, that. The "I need a freaking toilet in my life right this second or some poor human is going to drive by and see me squatting on the side of the road and it's not going to be pretty" thing. Welcome to the last twenty minutes of my Monday night.

You know, when you're young you envision those cute romantic walks that you and your lover will someday take..I knew things weren't going to go in that direction after we had our first date at a Japanese steakhouse and you could literally hear the rumbles [pretty sure from both of us] within ten minutes of leaving the joint. 

I promise I wasn't planning on writing this post entirely about poop, it just kinda happened that way. 

New subject. 

This was quite random but last night we tuned into one of our favorite shows on HGTV, House Hunters Lakefront Bargain Hunt [say that twenty times fast] and they were shooting lake properties a mere 20 minutes from our house. We thought "oh hey! that's cool!" and then two minutes later we were all "wait! that's the realtor that showed us houses!" and then two minutes later we were even more "waaaaaaaaaaaiiiiit! that's the house we looked at!" 

True story. The couple looked at a house that we looked at back when we were in the house hunting market annnnnnnnnd they ended up buying it on the show....for like $80,000 less than what it was when we looked at it so that's awesome. 

Basically I've been on HGTV is where I'm getting at with this story. Basically. 

Okay I think that's all of the important stuff I needed to say for now. Tomorrow Shawn turns the big 3-2 so I've gotta get crackin' on his extravagent birthday gifts which at this point include nothing. Sometimes I don't suck and then most of the time I really suck. And yes, I'm talking about my lack of birthday gifts still you dirty people you. Although now that I put it that way, maybe I just figured out my gift...just kidding mom and dad. Virgin for life. Or at least for the first 20 years of my life. 

I think I just published the age in which I gave it up to my husband. 

ps. if you were wondering how my walk ended, I successfully made it home despite the gritting of the teeth and goosebumps that were running rampant all over my body. Cheers to not having to squat in my neighbors yard...#winning

pps. I was married at age 20 if you are reading this children. Waiting has its perks but we can save that sex talk for another time. Maybe never. I think that's what your parents are for? Okay I have to go now before I say something else ridiculous. Actually, I think we already crossed that line about one sentence into this post. Better luck next time Erin. 

on that awkward note, we'll leave with this awkward photo. bye! 



  1. OMG!!! This is the best post evah!!!!

  2. Those feelings are terrible, especially when I get into the gym and get on my favorite coveted piece of machinery..the treadmill..after waiting. And then it hits me..and I have to explain to the other people eyeing it up that I will be back in 2 minutes and if they take it while I'm shitting there will be hell to pay.

  3. I love that a little bit of your old writings are back! I love posts like these! (not especially poop posts, but the more personal posts, just thought I should clearify ;-) )

  4. I'm pretty sure HGTV lies about the home prices. The show Listed Sister is filmed where I live in Nashville. On the show, they say the houses they renovate are selling for $300-$350K. Local realtors are pulling the actual sales prices and posting them on community FB groups. Sometimes the houses are selling for half of what they show on TV.

  5. Bahahaha! Yes, best post ever! Glad you made it home from your walk! And how awesome that you were basically on HGTV! Good luck figuring out a birthday gift!!

  6. That's crazy about HGTV! My bf's sister and her husband were once on Property Virgins (I don't think it's on any more), but apparently the whole process is super rigged. Kinda disappointing, but as long as Fixer Upper is genuine than I'm cool with it haha.

  7. LOVE THIS POST! Keepin' it real!


I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)