3.19.2015

Doggie Style

Because Maggie has been all up in my business lately about making her "blog famous" again I thought I would bring back a post she wrote a few years ago. Hoping this will appease her for the time being and if not, well there are always more treats in the world to give her. Enjoy.

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Hi humans!!!
My name is Maggie.
Others call me Erin's barking cat.
Those "others" are no longer alive.


Anyhow, I figured I would take over mommy's blog today.
She is too busy yelling at herself for almost burning down the house by baking a frozen pizza.
She thinks she is domesticated but then she goes and does things like burning the house down by a frozen pizza. I would understand if it was homemade doggie treats in the oven but no, just a pizza.

it's not sun. it's smoke.

Thanks to her I keep coughing and my mom keeps saying "Maggie calm down and breathe!"
You calm down and breathe woman. I'm not the one who can't properly cook a pizza.
Back to me though.

Some of you may not know me.
For some reason my mom likes to keep me a secret.
Now if my name was "Wine" I'd be famous, but nope, I'm just the dog.
What my mom doesn't understand is that I keep the pounds off due to my hyper running all over the living room antics, but wine? All that does is put her to sleep. And make her hips wider.
Don't tell her I said that though please.
You know what I am sick of?
Being used for all of her self portraits.
Yeah right she wants a picture with me--she just wants to show off her good hair day.


Apparently on this particular day she thought her legs looked good.
I've had enough.
Next time my mom grabs me for the millionth and ten sweet mother daughter picture, I'm whipping out my tongue. We'll see how many more pictures I get roped into after that funky business.


On the bright side I am the reason why my mom and dad don't have any babies.
All I have to do is beg for food like so.....


And my mom gives it to me.
My daddy then gets all huffy and puffy at her and says things like "THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE DON'T HAVE CHILDREN...YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY NO TO THE FREAKIN DOG!!!"
Mommy and I then make winks at each other.
You think my momma wants to push a cantaloupe out of a lemon?
Heck to the no.
You're welcome mommy.
Now give me more food.

lets be real though--who could say no to this face?

I should also note that I am looking for a sugar daddy.
The only companion I have is my cousin Ellie.


My mom told me that I am not allowed to hump cousins. Or females.
I'd like to take my daddy away from my mom and see what she would start humping.
Oh shoot. My mom just told me I wasn't allowed to say that.
She is starting to sound like my dad.
Speaking of my daddy, I am off to go get my belly rubbed.


This blogging shaz is stressful.
No wonder my mom drinks.
Peace out adults.


These paws are off to get into some trouble.
Or at least into some peanut butter.

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10 comments:

  1. Hahaha this made my morning! Love it.

    xo, Jasmin
    www.jasmindaily.com

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  2. Stop - these are so cute. I always so NO MORE DOGS in this house, but posts like this make me change my mind...

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  3. This is amazing. Greatest post ever. Maggie is adorable - she looks a lot like my little yorkie poo, Leonidas.

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  4. This is so funny! I love it. Thanks for making my day better!

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  5. This is too cute! She looks just like my mom's black poodle. They have so much sass and personality. If they didn't get so neurotic about stuff, I would have one myself.

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  6. This post is adorable! I wonder what my dogs would say if they could talk :)

    -Rae
    studentsandstyle.wordpress.com

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  7. This is so great! I love it and she is adorable!

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  8. I laughed from start to finish! You tell Maggie that she is definitely blog famous! :)

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)