3.25.2015

Blogging Is Hard

tunic :: sugar love boutique [use code yellow for 20% off] // necklace :: metal marvels

It doesn't matter if your space on the internet is a fun hobby on the side or your main source of income, blogging is hard. When I first started out [holy 4 years ago] this thought didn't even cross my mind. All it is is words and pictures - heck, not even grammatically correct words and in my case pictures that are taken in the same spot every single time, how can it be that hard I thought? I mean you get to sit in your pajamas, drink wine, and listen to Bruno Mars at whatever volume you want when doing it. I can't do that at my real j-o-b. So how is this hard? 

Well, for starters sometimes just the act of existing online is exhausting. Showing up is often the hardest thing to do, whether that be in "real" life or online life. There are days when staying in bed sounds like the better option, unplugging from everything sounds delightfully refreshing, and not having to share a single thing about myself or happenings of life is equivalent to hitting to the lottery. Not that I actually know what winning the lottery sounds like but I've heard good things. Recently I have struggled with knowing what to say on here. I question myself on whether my online voice really matters or if I am stuck in this, what can often seem a meaningless cycle, of hitting publish on a post that I will never care about in years from now. Maintaining a lighthearted, carefree attitude when writing can be hard. I used to pride myself on that. These days I can't remember the last time I just showed up to this space and freely wrote about anything and everything I wanted to. It's too filtered, too sponsored, too much of what I never envisioned my blog to be. 

Connecting with people face to face is my heart. Emails, tweets, Facebook messages, while they are all great, they are hard for me to truly connect with. Shoot, I struggle with phone calls to people I love the most. Minus the times when I actually get to meet some of you beautiful people in real life, look into your eyes, and have real conversation [and goodness do I love that], sometimes this space can feel pretty dang empty and lonely. It's a weird mix of too much noise and not enough feelings. 

And then of course there are the bits and pieces of negativity floating around about you when putting yourself out there. It's never a fun thing to hear negative things about yourself but is extremely weird to be able to openly read what people find wrong with you. I know that my face looks orange in pictures, I realize that I talk about drinking often [although can count on one hand the number of times I have been intoxicated], and yes I live in the middle of BFE, but I also have real feelings and want to love and be loved. It takes a lot of confidence and grace to love yourself through blogging sometimes. 

However, despite all of the above and no matter how many times I have said to my husband "I think I'm going to quit blogging...just walk away and be done", I am so grateful for this space. Without it I would have missed out on several true friendships that I know will always be near to my heart. I would have lost memories both big and small that I now am able to cherish forever. I have taught myself how to stick with something when it doesn't always seem fun. This blog has instilled a silent confidence in me that I have been forced to have because without it I would crumble. I have learned that blogging is often never easy but it is almost always worth it. Living In Yellow is an extension of my life. And while it will never fully encompass 100% of who I am, it will always be a space that I am proud to call home. Thank you to each one of you who show up, it blows my mind why you do, but am so grateful you have decided to. You make this space insanely precious. Love you all. 


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31 comments:

  1. Love this post, Erin. I have experienced lately many of the things you mentioned- mostly that feeling of just showing up online being exhausting. It's like, sheesh, what do you want from me? I went to three posts a week in January and stopped my sponsorship program. And while my income has decreased, it has been so good for me. I couldn't keep going forever at the pace I was going. It was like a literal weight had been taken off of me to not feel like I have to post something every single day and constantly worry about returning emails. Online relationships are weird because you do put a lot in, but the reward doesn't seem as great as with face to face relationships. I'm an extrovert and thrive on the face to face contact, like you. At one point my goal was to make enough blogging that I could quit teaching. Now I realize that staying at home all day with a blog would be so isolating and lonely for me. I would HATE it and am grateful for my job that gets me dressed and out of the house. (Not to mention once you have children... I don't know how mommy bloggers stay at home with little babies and their blogs. It would be so lonely for me. I need people!)

    As for the haters... there is something about the internet that brings out the worst in people. One thing my sister told me after I was depressed about a recent round of horrible online comments was "Can anyone you know personally say those things about you?" And the answer was always no. People who really know me know that I am not a crappy teacher or unhappy in my marriage like online commenters say I am. Maybe you should try reading your mean comments outloud like the celebrities who read their mean tweets?

    This comment got weirdly long. I mostly just wanted to tell you that since my baby blogging days I've really looked up to you. I admire all you do with your blog and with pollinate and with your love, yellow and every other thing you're involved. You are inspiring!

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  2. I enjoy your little piece of the internet ;)

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  3. I love this. I feel this all the time and I just started blogging. I feel like my life is too boring or I don't have enough to say. I recently found your blog aka yesterday and I'm totally in love with it.

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  4. I absolutely love this, Erin! (And your blog). I agree...even in my one year in blog world, it gets to be so exhausting and overwhelming and scary and frustrating and annoying, but for all of those moments (or for at least 75% of them), there's some INSANELY good memory or friendship or comment or connection there that overrides the negativity and makes you remember why you started in the first place. I think staying true to myself and always circling back to my overarching goal on Coming Up Roses has been key to maintaining focus and growing in my little internet space!

    cominguprosestheblog.com

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  5. I love this post and totally agree. Your blog is great, keep on keeping on!!

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  6. haha, yes. but i never take blogging too seriously. but it's true that providing content can be challenging. like you're staring at the screen for hours with nothing to write about.
    i enjoy your corner of the internet.

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  7. I hope you never quit. Your posts are fun, fresh, and make me laugh. I love your outfits and your home remodel posts. So please don't stop blogging. I would miss you(: Susan

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  8. Blogging is the furthest thing from hard. If you want to walk away, do it. If you want to be less positive, then write more honestly. If you want to be less sponsored, then do it. Nothing you wrote about comes close to qualifying as hard. If you are grateful, then live the words you write and stop whining about your own blessings.

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    1. Do you own a blog yourself Fenna Blue? If so, then your response is justified. If not, please keep your negativity out of here.. unless you are committed every day to log on and write 500 words or so you really don't have a place to criticize.

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  9. Oh Erin thank you from a new Blogger for sharing your heart, never giving up and being honest with your readers. You were the first blog I ever read and you continue to be an inspiration. Why? It's because your real, relatable and sweetness and care exude from your posts!!!
    xoxo

    livingoncloudandreanine.blogspot.com

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  10. I love your blog! Sometimes I feel like I wrote some of the postings due to the similarities we share! Keep on keepin' on sista!

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  11. Don't walk away and be done! I love reading your blog! :)

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  12. Beautifully said! I'll be at the Go Blog Social conference in KC next week if you want to have a face to face conversation I would love it! :)

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  13. I believe blogging is hard because you make it hard. And that's because you make it GOOD. If you blog was meh, okay, whatever, and you didn't really work on it, it'd be easy. But you throw yourself into it, you make it good, you make money, you make friends, you do the damn thing. And for that, it's hard.

    Be glad it's hard (and Fenna can calm the hell down up there). It means it's GOOD. You're GREAT.

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  14. Hi Erin...I have been reading your blog for some time and have never commented before now. I LOVE your blog. I love that you post pictures of yourself, are sometimes sarcastic and that you talk about doing things like having a drink or two. That makes you real and who wants to read a blog that's not authentic?

    I just started a blog...only a week in and I hope that I can be as honest and "real" as you are. Keep the humor, sarcasm and honesty...we love it! And yes, blogging is HARD, as I'm quickly learning!

    ~Melanie

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  15. Hello!!!! I am a newer reader, maybe a few months. I LOVE your blog. You are down-to--earth, honest, funny, easy to read, don't stop! The things you write about are easy to relate to. I really do enjoy your blog. I understand your hard days. Hang in there!! :-)

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  16. Erin please keep on keeping it real with us! As much as I love to read the posts of bloggers who don't work full time, who travel all over the world on fancy trips, and who have crazy luxe wardrobe budgets, I much prefer to read the posts of someone down to earth who has much more typical success and challenges!

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  17. I've had some of these thoughts myself as well. But I keep going because at the end of the day, I can't see myself doing anything else. I need blogging, and I can't imagine my life without it.

    Good for you to keep going -- the haters and self-doubt, be damned!

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  18. I love your blog, so keep doing what you're doing! You are so fun and real- which is awesome. Your blog has inspired me to be more personal on my blog and you always provide a daily chuckle.

    Keep at it girlfriend!

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  19. Preach it sister! I started to write the same sort of post today. I'm lucky if I get one post out a week but I'm not ready to completely give it up! You're always one of my faves! Let the haters hate!

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  20. I started out reading blogs when my first son was born, and I kept up with a LOT of them, three years later and you want to know the one and only blog I still read? It's yours! :)

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  21. Very well put! I'm such a fan of your blog and the things you have to say. Blogging truly isn't as easy as it seems! Keep up the great work!

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  22. Ah, I wrote a long comment, and I don't think it went through. :(
    Well to sum it up. I just started a blog about a year ago and I suck at it. Your post came at a great time for me as I struggle to find my way throughout this avenue. I would like to pick your brain on some more things. Let me know where I can reach you.

    Kindest regards,
    Lisa Maiorana
    Shoes, Dogs and Chocolate
    www.shoesdogsandchocolate.com

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  23. Sometimes us bloggers need this kind of post to read. I love how much of creative outlet it is for me and so far it's been so much fun. I think focusing on the positive and ignoring the negative while lifting each other up with support is what will do the trick ;) So let's clink our wine glasses together for blogging and a great weekend!

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  24. I hope that you're able to find your way back to feeling free on your blog - it brings a lot of joy and entertainment to so many readers. However, if you find that your heart just isn't in it, you should also allow yourself the freedom to step away. Everything in life isn't easy (and it shouldn't be), but you should be able to find satisfaction, some little nugget of happiness, in all that you truly put your energy into. Good luck to you, Erin, and I'm (selfishly) keeping my fingers crossed that you stick around :)

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  25. It took and continues to take a lot to get where you are so of course you should be proud of that. I just think that the commercialization aspect changes the way you blog, changes your blog and it also impacts the way you feel about blogging. I think no matter how you slice it when you mix business (money) with pleasure (blogging) it changes things. Not that blogging isn't hard for even the regular bloggers!! It's just a whole different animal when you've made it your business.

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  26. LOVE this post! I'm glad you're sticking with it.

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  27. I feel ya! This has been the hardest year for me trying to juggle blogging, volunteering, home buying, pregnancy, nursery preparation, work, and taking care of le hubby. I'm pretty good at showing up, but I'm terrible with emails and other social media. I would say it will get better after CQB is here, but I doubt it! #babyfever

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  28. It took me 3 hours to write a really dumb post today. I love blogging and sometimes I hate it and think what is the point? But most of all I hate the other facets of blogging, the constant competition and social media crap. The constant... Instagram BS. Our world is weird sometimes. I actually have to sit and ask myself, what is real right now? And when I do, it's only the fake stuff that bothers me. The real stuff in my life is the best stuff. Does this comment make any sense? probably not. I also have a terrible cold and took too many cold pills... Just wanted to say you're great and a genuinely wonderful person. I agree with Bon, I've met you and can attest to only the positive stuff.

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  29. You are adorable and I love stopping by and catching up on your blog!!! Your Stitch Fix reviews are my favorite (I need to get better about posting mine!!) and I love your writing style!! Just wanted to send some positive vibes your way!!! :)

    Molly

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)