Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say To A Man

+ "I wish you would wear cut off tees more often."

+ "I would appreciate it if you would value me for my boobs and my boobs only."

+ "No, don't buy me diamonds. I prefer panty hose." 

+ "I get tired of you cleaning and cooking all of the time." 

+ "I think the dirt under your fingernails is sexy."

+ "You should stay home and let me work full-time."

+ "Those Carhartts look awesome on you."

+ "Channing Tatum has nothing on you." 

+ "You should put more juicy peach air fresheners in your car. It's hot."

+ "I prefer you play Candy Crush instead of talk in bed."

+ "You should go on a guys trip. To Vegas. And leave your ring and phone at home."

+ "Of course you should buy that $10,000 lawn mower!!!"

+ "I totally understand and appreciate your lack of communication." 

+ "I would rather I just take care of all of the Christmas shopping, wrapping, cooking, and clean up. Sit on the couch and relax, I'll do the rest." 

+ "I would feel more comfortable if you would let me drill all of the screws into our walls." 

+ "I really hate the way you look when you hold a baby."

+ "I would rather you use the majority of our master closet, I'm fine with using the dresser only."

+ "I wish you ate more garlic."

+ "Of course I am not jealous of the 5'10 woman with a rocking bod and gorgeous face that you are looking at right now while I am trying to talk to you!" 

+ "I promise I won't buy anything at Target this time." 

+ "Screw Instagram. I'm giving my full attention to you for the entire weekend." 

+ "You were right!" 



  1. The Channing Tatum one made me laugh!! Thanks for that :)

  2. OMG so SO funny! The screws one really made me smile. Over the I got my husband and his friend to hang the rods and mirror that I had been meaning to, by simply drilling one wrong hole. #genius


  3. Bahaha "I promise I won't buy anything at Target this time"...yeah, right!! ;)

  4. These are all hilarious :D Something that I would add to my list is "No I would not like you to get me an ice cold beer".

  5. The last one is the best one!!!

  6. hahaha all of these are so true.

  7. Haha, AMEN! Although, I've totally been telling Will to 'relax' while I do everything around the house, because I want to keep my SAHW status for as long as I can ;)

  8. Haha!! Spot on with all of it! Especially the Carhartt's and Christmas!!

  9. That last one. You will have to kill me first. My fiance gets all big headed and gloaty whenever he thinks he is right. It kills me.

  10. haha these are all so great! Love it!

  11. Hahahaha! This is great...and I especially love that you saved "You are right" for the end!

  12. "Screw Instagram. I'm giving my full attention to you for the entire weekend." haha! These are words I know my man would LOVE to hear (along with a few others in this list)! Thanks for the laugh! Xo, D

  13. Sadly the drilling holes in the walls one is true in our house. haha

  14. LMAO My bf must have thought I said the closet thing.. I swear I have like 1/4 of the closet space and he has the rest and 2 dressers. Did I mention he never wears any of it WTH?!

  15. Haha such a great post! I needed that today!

  16. These are awesome!! The fingernails. The drilling holes. The candy crush. Just, yes to all of them.

  17. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha the last one is PERFECT! Us women are always right =)

  18. Actually, I tell my guy that he IS my Channing Tatum, mainly because it embarrasses him. He's not too fond of ol' Channing. I think because he's super jelly about all the women who flock to him. But I mean, HEllo! Look at me. 'Cause I'm flockin' to YOU, buddy. Feel special.


  19. A woman once said to me: "You're always right."

    Shoulda married her.


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