6.04.2014

Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say To A Man


+ "I wish you would wear cut off tees more often."

+ "I would appreciate it if you would value me for my boobs and my boobs only."

+ "No, don't buy me diamonds. I prefer panty hose." 

+ "I get tired of you cleaning and cooking all of the time." 

+ "I think the dirt under your fingernails is sexy."

+ "You should stay home and let me work full-time."

+ "Those Carhartts look awesome on you."

+ "Channing Tatum has nothing on you." 

+ "You should put more juicy peach air fresheners in your car. It's hot."

+ "I prefer you play Candy Crush instead of talk in bed."

+ "You should go on a guys trip. To Vegas. And leave your ring and phone at home."

+ "Of course you should buy that $10,000 lawn mower!!!"

+ "I totally understand and appreciate your lack of communication." 

+ "I would rather I just take care of all of the Christmas shopping, wrapping, cooking, and clean up. Sit on the couch and relax, I'll do the rest." 

+ "I would feel more comfortable if you would let me drill all of the screws into our walls." 

+ "I really hate the way you look when you hold a baby."

+ "I would rather you use the majority of our master closet, I'm fine with using the dresser only."

+ "I wish you ate more garlic."

+ "Of course I am not jealous of the 5'10 woman with a rocking bod and gorgeous face that you are looking at right now while I am trying to talk to you!" 

+ "I promise I won't buy anything at Target this time." 

+ "Screw Instagram. I'm giving my full attention to you for the entire weekend." 

+ "You were right!" 

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25 comments:

  1. The Channing Tatum one made me laugh!! Thanks for that :)

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  2. OMG so SO funny! The screws one really made me smile. Over the I got my husband and his friend to hang the rods and mirror that I had been meaning to, by simply drilling one wrong hole. #genius

    EatPrayWearLove

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  3. Bahaha "I promise I won't buy anything at Target this time"...yeah, right!! ;)

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  4. These are all hilarious :D Something that I would add to my list is "No I would not like you to get me an ice cold beer".

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  5. The last one is the best one!!!

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  6. hahaha all of these are so true.

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  7. Haha, AMEN! Although, I've totally been telling Will to 'relax' while I do everything around the house, because I want to keep my SAHW status for as long as I can ;)

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  8. Haha!! Spot on with all of it! Especially the Carhartt's and Christmas!!

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  9. That last one. You will have to kill me first. My fiance gets all big headed and gloaty whenever he thinks he is right. It kills me.

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  10. haha these are all so great! Love it!

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  11. Hahahaha! This is great...and I especially love that you saved "You are right" for the end!

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  12. "Screw Instagram. I'm giving my full attention to you for the entire weekend." haha! These are words I know my man would LOVE to hear (along with a few others in this list)! Thanks for the laugh! Xo, D

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  13. Sadly the drilling holes in the walls one is true in our house. haha

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  14. LMAO My bf must have thought I said the closet thing.. I swear I have like 1/4 of the closet space and he has the rest and 2 dressers. Did I mention he never wears any of it WTH?!

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  15. Haha such a great post! I needed that today!

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  16. These are awesome!! The fingernails. The drilling holes. The candy crush. Just, yes to all of them.

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  17. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha the last one is PERFECT! Us women are always right =)

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  18. Actually, I tell my guy that he IS my Channing Tatum, mainly because it embarrasses him. He's not too fond of ol' Channing. I think because he's super jelly about all the women who flock to him. But I mean, HEllo! Look at me. 'Cause I'm flockin' to YOU, buddy. Feel special.

    Sarah
    http://fromdogwoodstomagnolias.blogspot.com/

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  19. A woman once said to me: "You're always right."

    Shoulda married her.

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)