Remind Me To Come Back With A Topic Next Time....

Aside from driving 30 miles in the completely wrong direction this afternoon [don't worry, I had a personal pan pizza to keep me company] and talking to my sister on the phone while she is yelling at my niece to stop peeing in the front yard, it's been a pretty normal day around here ;) Sometimes I swear I would have the most entertaining {ie: not normal} reality show out there. Sure I may not have a gazillion children running around and I may be taller than 2 feet, but I know how to spend my afternoons smoking candy cigarettes and running into walls constantly on accident. What is more entertaining than watching somebody else hurt themselves on accident? Nothing, that's what.

I'm not really sure where I was going with this blog post other than to say I haven't had any idea where I have been going with any blog posts recently. To put things lightly, blogging has been the furthest thing on my mind. In fact, anytime I try to think of a half decent topic I wind up with a headache which makes me brew a cup of coffee which then makes me way too jumpy to sit still for a solid 10 minutes to pump a post out.. 

And then I just said pump a post out. 

Regardless here I am. Pumping. Posts, not my breasts just for clarification purposes.

Speaking of becoming a human cow, I had a long text session with myself and other ladies who have produced children of their own. All that I took from it was that your boobs get saggy, it hurts a lot after said child comes out, and you are tired 24/7. So while that sounds awesome I think I am going to try to stay unpregnated for at least one more month of my life.

Have I mentioned that I bought candy cigarettes yet today? #winning

Changes [exciting] ones are happening over here and I can't wait to share them with you. Stay tuned for all of that.

Until then, I'm off to go spend the weekend celebrating my husband's 30th birthday while he is gallivanting around Chicago with his guy friends and I am sitting in a bubble bath with a glass of wine bigger than my face. God bless birthdays.

Oh ps. If anybody has ideas on what to get your husband for his 30th birthday, suggestions would be more than appreciated. Remind me to ask more than 24 hours in advance next year. K thanks bye. 



  1. Mwahahaha. Awesome sauce. Is that still a phrase? I love these rambly posts.

    1. Glad you can appreciate a whole lot of nothing ;)

  2. Oh and I got Eric one of those groupons where you can test drive a super car (Lamborghini, Ferrari, whatever) around a track a bunch of times. He liked that.

  3. My favorite thing to get my boyfriend are "activity presents," often stuff we can do together. Two years ago I got him Cirque du Soleil tickets and then last year I got him a gift certificate to a massage for himself and two tickets to a hot tub place for the both of us. I think it's so much more fun to create memories together than just have an object. Is there something he would never splurge on for himself (like a massage) or something he's always wanted to do (like skydiving)?


  4. Lay naked on your bed. Don't all men love that ;)

  5. Haha, smoking candy cigarettes. Those things are amazing!!


  6. I think you might be getting the better end of the birthday weekend deal!

  7. That bubble bath sound like an excellent idea!! My sister sent her husband skydiving for this 30th birthday - if your husband is into that. He loved it and said it was the best gift he had ever gotten!


  8. Hey, they don't always go saggy. Your 38C's can drop to not even a 32A{you can imagine how I know this particular info}, but they won't be saggy ;)

  9. Hmm I just quit smoking Wed. maybe I just need some candy ciggs LOL!

  10. My boyfriends 30th is soon too! Feel free to share ideas. Ha TGIF!

  11. Hilarious. Enjoy your bath and cigaretts.

  12. Erin, I just gotta letcha know...whenever I'm feeling down - especially about blogging - your blog pump posts never fail to get me giggling. Now I'm craving wine and candy, so you never fail to get my blood sugar going, too. Hoorah!


  13. Pump, pump pump it uppp! Has he ever been sky diving??? I'm digging Christine's idea as well-


  14. They still make candy cigarettes?! Damn, I haven't seen those in ages!

  15. Pumping and candy cigarettes. Never a dull moment with you! Bahh haha

  16. I could never give up coffee!

  17. You're hilarious!! My daughter always says we should be a reality tv show!! However we don't meet any of the qualifiers either!! And candy cigarettes - childhood throwback!!


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