4.01.2014

Cocktail Wieners, Stuffed "V's, and Other Dirty Things

Well it turns out I found myself at a “romance” party last night.

It also turns out that I laughed more in those five short hours harder than I have ever laughed before because I have this problem called “immaturity”.

I’m not sure if any of you have ever had a stuffed vajayjay in your face, cocktail wieners for dinner, a corksicle in your wine, and a vibrator demonstrated on your neck all in the same evening, but if you haven’t, I highly recommend all of the above.


If that wasn’t awesome enough, the women conducting this romance party had AN ENTIRE TRAILER with all of her goodies. Step up your game Pampered Chef, pimped out trailers are where it’s at. It is also great for drug smuggling and other things I would imagine. Not that I have ever smuggled drugs in the back of a trailer but if I had, I can imagine it would go down something like that.

In other news, the #1800MinuteChallenge starts today which means in approximately 27 minutes I will be hating my life as I attempt to run the entire mile around my neighborhood. How is it that as a kid you could run 27 miles a day without even realizing you are running at all but once you hit the age of 27 you take four more steps than you did the previous day and your legs can feel it for a week? If you haven’t signed up but are still interested, you can do so here [ignore my remark about hating my life and pretend for a second that working out is fun]. A complete tracking spreadsheet will be sent your way asap. Also, while on the subject of this challenge can I just mention how awesome it is that over 900 of you have signed up already?! Helllllllllllo swimsuit bodies….

If you are looking for a way to get the most out of your 30 minutes a day working out, may I suggest all of these Jillian Michaels DVDS

my favorites are this // this // this // and this 

They are my go-to time and time again. I mean sure, you may consider cutting your losses and ending your life halfway through but I promise you it’s worth it to stick it out to the end. #thatswhatshesaid

And on that note, I am off to subtract the first 30. Pounds that is.

But seriously, go to a “romance” party with your friends stat. You haven’t lived fully until you have.

Disclaimer: I understand that if you are my parents or some other relation to me this may be an awkward thing to think about. Keep in mind that there were plenty of “normal” items to purchase, such as men’s shaving cream and pomegranate body spray. For the sake of your sanity, let’s just say my body spray stock is now plenty replenished.

Share/Bookmark

20 comments:

  1. I used to sell that stuff for a few months, but I quit like a year ago... Now, I have so much merchandise in my house that I don't need. :-\

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stuffed Vajayjay...

    That corkcicle actually looks like a great idea!

    ReplyDelete
  3. JM is my go-to as well. And holy crap do I ever need one of those wine corkcicles.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love Pure Romance; their parties and their message.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Vajayjay parties are seriously the greatest thing ever. I give props to the ladies that host them and clearly have no problem with shouting out sexual innuendos every minute. They do a great job at taking the awkwardness out of it haha!

    I can't wait to start the 1800minutechallenge as well. Happy Sweating!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've been to one but it was called a passion party!! And I love Jillian's work outs.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahaha those pictures are pretty priceless. And I love those dvds! She kills you in 30 minutes flat. Done and done.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm pretending that the #1800challenge started yesterday when I worked out instead of eating cookies in the recliner while watching Hulu.

    ReplyDelete
  9. OMG the stuffed vajay. That's about the funniest thing I've ever seen. My bff had one of these for her bach party (and sadly I couldn't go) but I heard it was hilarious. And I just tied up my tennis shoes to get in my 30 minutes of the #1800MinuteChallenge for today! Thanks for the motivation :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. About the Jillian DVDs, which one is a good one to start first (beginner over here - scared beginner who doesn't want to pass out after the first minute - lol)???
    Thanks for doing this lovey! I can't wait to see the changes...

    ReplyDelete
  11. I can't even handle the Hooha puppet...

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm late to the party, but I just signed up for the 1800 minute challenge, can't wait to get fit!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I've gone to quite a few romance parties and they are so fun! I am usually the one giggling at everything because, well.. it's hilarious to me! I got my 45 minutes in today, and am going to have to figure out what I want to do tomorrow. Oh boy!

    ReplyDelete
  14. A romance party? That sounds ridiculous and amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Was it pure romance? I love them!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I had a pure romance party for one of my bachelorette parties. In all of my pictures I'm blushing because the attention was focused on me (with the hubs in mind) all.night.long. #killmenow PS. The wieners for dinner, now that's just genius!

    ReplyDelete
  17. hahahah i love this :) sounds like ive been missing out!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love pure romance parties! They are always so much fun! HAHA! We're actually doing one for part of a bachelorette party next month! So excited about the 1800 challenge!! Going to be awesome!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I love Jillian Michaels! I just ordered TWO more of her DVD's!

    ReplyDelete

I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)