A few weeks ago as I was in the shower and a little voice inside my head said "you should get a tattoo." I found this to be very odd because if there is one thing I said I would never do, it was get a tattoo. You know how we all just create those subconscious mental "never" lists? Getting ink'd up was definitely on that list. It's not that I had a problem with people who had tattoos, it's just that I am a giant wimp who avoids getting needles poked into my skin at all costs. Well, the thing with me is that when I often get an idea, I want to act on it. I ended up hopping out of the shower declaring to Shawn that I was in fact going to get a tattoo. A few weeks passed and no tattoo had occurred yet. And that's when Saturday happened. You see, I just purchased a new planner (oh my gosh obsessed) and I have this thing where I don't want the days to look lonely. Naturally I made the decision to write in "get a tattoo" for the weekend. If there is one thing that I absolutely hate doing, it is crossing something out of my planner that didn't happen, so well, it was going to happen. There was only problem with this, I wasn't 100% sure yet what I wanted. I hopped on Pinterest for a little while, but wasn't finding the exact thing I had in mind. That's when I turned to my best friend, PicMonkey, and went to town creating exactly what I wanted.
Here's the deal with why I created what I did..I wanted to get a tattoo of something that I am not. I wanted something that would serve a purpose for being there. I needed something that I could see, I could read, and it would impact me not just within the first week, but for forever. You may recall that one thing I struggle with from time to time is anxiety and panic attacks (read here and here). One of my favorite reminders during this time is Psalm 46:10: "Be still and know that I am God.." I love knowing that He has it all under control and that all I have to do is be still and He will take care of me. So often the last thing that I am is still. I forget this fact and instead of being still, I think I have to act. Do the next thing, figure it all out, create a plan, etc. By looking down I will now be reminded to look up.
I am not an advocate for tattoos, I am an advocate of having the balls to do what you want, to not always be logical but true to yourself, and trust that what you are doing is what you should be doing. It's about not second guessing every decision you make, to act on impulse when you feel it's right, and to remind yourself that you are more than some ink on your skin. Someday I may look down at my wrist and wish that I didn't have this tattoo there, however I will remember that when I was 27 I had the courage, belief, and strength to do something that I thought I would never do. That reminder and the feelings associated with it is not a trend, but rather a lifestyle that I hope to continue to grow into.