11.21.2013

Thoughts {In The Moment}

two things. it appears that I don't have any eyeballs and my arm is a chicken wing. continue on. 

+ I know that not everybody understands why we don't have children as of yet or why we don't have a strong desire for children anytime in the near future. For those of you not understanding, let me start by saying three words. Peace and quiet. I'm obsessed with it. I know there is beauty in chaos, but there is a heck of a lot of beauty in calm too. Recently I've made it a point to make our home a haven so to speak. Candles lit, house picked up, Jack Johnson playing throughout the house, wine, movies, and so on. Maybe eventually this quiet calm thing will become boring, but for now I am soaking up every second of it I can get. 


+ On that same note, I am a firm believer that ladies, we should all strive to make our home as pleasant as possible for our man (and children). Call me old school but a tidy home makes everybody's spirits a little brighter and lighter. Fresh flowers don't hurt either. 


+ I now just remembered I need to purge my whole household of basically everything I own. HOLY CRAP. #stuffoverload. 
+ I am in this really weird place in my life right now professionally. As you may recall I recently went part-time so that I can spend every afternoon working on this blog and any additional online ventures I can conjure up. Well, what happens when you are given the time to work on it and then the desire isn't either all there, you feel stuck in the same place you have been in, and/or don't know where to go from here? EXACTLY. It's frustrating and weird. 

+ Wine. That's all on that one. 

+ I've been accidentally staying up til 2 am or later recently. For whatever reason I get hyper around 11 pm and want to do anything but sleep. Like look at my iPhone because that seems to be a thrilling hobby. I think it's the whole brewing coffee at 6 pm thing that is kicking my arse. And my eyeballs. 

favorite confetti mug from hello awesome--use code HELLOLIY10 for 10% off

+ This picture. 

I love her little determination in putting together a puzzle that she never had a shot of putting together in the first place. Being naive is one of the best things you can be sometimes. 

+ My heart is equal parts grateful, joyful, hurting, and sad right now. This makes for confusing days. Yesterday I received a bag of cashews from a fundraiser that I forgot I had ordered for my grandpa about a month or so ago. Have you ever received a bag of cashews for your grandpa who is now no longer here? It's a little (a lot) tear jerking. And so I cry. And then I laugh. And then I cry again. 

+ I have a goal to learn every choreographed song there is. You know--the good ones like soulja boy, dougie, bernie lean, the wobble, stanky leg, twerkin, the whole bit. Because I mean, why not?

+ I made pasta last night that included TWO pounds of cheese. I like cheese and all but there comes a point where you realize that maybe you shouldn't eat two pounds of cheese for dinner. Not that those thoughts stopped me but still. 

+ Peacin' out. Paaaaaayce. 
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37 comments:

  1. I am totally with you on this post right now! First of all I am so happy right now without kids. I relish in the peace and quiet and doing whatever I want whenever I want. It feels so good. Maybe that will change in the future. Who knows. And I definitely agree about the house. I feel so relaxed and calm when my home is clean, looks good and smells delicious. And fresh flowers never hurt. xo Moe

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  2. I'm totally there with the no sleep thing. I decide I start to get tired at 10pm but instead of going to sleep (like a normal person) I make coffee and then I'm up until 2am...Logic? Apparently I have none haha. I'm in no place for children (yet) but I agree with the house thing - everything feels just a little better when it is all tidy and beautiful. Fresh flowers are always a good idea :)

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  3. I am with you on the no kids/no desire thing! We are good just having us (and the dogs) time.

    And cheese is good stuff, but two pounds?? You have to share that recipe!

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  4. I am totally with you. I am in a different place in my life right now too. Just all over the place and trying to make room for change. Trying to add some new things, and practice some of my old favorites more. I think that it is good to wait on kids, we need to grow within ourselves before we can fully give ourselves to another human 24/7. Can't say I am not excited to be a mom one day, bur right now I don't think it's for us either.

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  5. All the pictures of your house look really well decorated! :)

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  6. What great musings, I am sure your motivation will return soon!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  7. Hang in there girl! You'll find the motivation again.

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  8. I think you should probably add Thriller to that list of choreographed songs you want to learn because, well, it's MJ.

    Also, sorry to hear about your Grandpa. My Grandpa passed away in January and I feel especially sad when I catch myself talking about "Grandma and Grandpa's" house, or something similar. Thinking of you girlfriend!

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  9. Enjoy your time with just you and husband :) having a quiet house is great. You have a great head on your shoulders and will totally be able to adjust to the whirlwind ride of parenthood whenever that time comes.

    I agree about making our homes a haven for our families too, great point. Hoping that your heart is comforted by our sweet Savior and the the memories you have of your Grandpa keep you smiling into the future.

    PS...Try not to worry about not being productive with new ventures or blogging ideas, you have lots going on, I am sure when you least expect it a great idea will hit you :).

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  10. 1. I have kids, LOVE being a mom, and can (could) never understand when people didn't have that same desire. Your explanation in the first paragraph is the best explanation I've ever heard... I could feel the calm through your words and it totally made sense. Good writing :)

    2. I completely agree with your comment about your home... I think it's important to create that haven for your family to come home to, to feel safe and comfortable in. To be honest, being a busy single mom that doesn't always happen BUT I do agree with you :) So silly, but one thing I'm a stickler about is having candles lit and/or my Scentsy on... because even if the house has too many toys out or laundry isn't put away, I always want my kids to walk in and something something that makes them feel at home.

    3. I'm gonna need that recipe pronto!

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  12. I'm with you on the no kids thing! They're just so loud and needy and so much work! Unlike my 3 dogs...oh wait... Haha.

    Oddly enough, yours is the second blog I've read today mentioning making a dish with two pounds of cheese last night! Weird!

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    1. Oh and P.S. I want to hire you to come decorate my house. I love your style. Those pink chevron pillows, OMG!

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  13. The ONLY thing I miss from before having kids is peace and quiet. We were always very chill...but you'd be surprised how you CAN carry that into parenthood...if you want to. Yes, it's different and a bit more scarce, but we love "quiet, lights down, candles burning cuddle time" even with two toddlers and a baby.
    Also, I'm very sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace...

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  14. Ugh, people need to keep quiet about choices as personal as having kids or not. It's your life! Plus, peace and quiet is pretty awesome. :)

    Undeniably me

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  15. I miss the quietness of pre-children. I totally love having a tidy home, I always make sure that there are no dishes in the sink before I go to bed at night otherwise I stress out. And doesn't everyone with a smartphone stay up WAY past their bedtimes looking at pinterest and reading blogs and facebook?? No, just me??

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  16. your blog is great and I love you. and everyone is in a different season of life. enjoy the season that you are in and don't rush it. If God wants you to have children, then he will provide them in his timing :)

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  17. Haha...people never understand not wanting children right this very second. The moment I got married (and still) people were like "Ok, so when are the babies coming...get on that!" and we are like NO.....I like being able to sleep in and do what I want. Call me selfish, i'll take it....that's why I don't have kids:)

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  18. Soak up that peace and quiet girl, soak it UP! I've got a six month old little one, and let me tell you...it's not all that peaceful or quiet around here these days :) I wouldn't change it for the world, but every once in awhile I would just kill for a night with a bubble bath, a good book, a few candles and a glass of wine. Pretty sure it'll be years before that happens again...

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  19. tell me about that sleeping thing. i can't get myself to sleep before 2 am. it's not the coffee though. i can take as much as coffee i want and sleep when i get sleepy. sometimes it's just not cool. especially when i have an appointment in the morning.

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  20. Don't feel bad for not wanting kids right now. I'm 26 and have no intentions of having children right now or even the next three years, or maybe ever. It's a lot of work and people just do it on a whim like it's no big deal. You have to put a lot of your dreams aside initially when you have kids..

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  21. Definitely learn the puppet dance to N' Sync's "Bye Bye Bye." It's the ultimate. I used to go through stages of insomnia and order crap off of infomercials. I must really like you because I don't tell very many people that little closet skeleton. Have a wonderful weekend.

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  22. i'm from the Midwest too (oh hey, ohio!) and many of my 26-year-old friends who got married straight outta college now have kids, are pregnant, or they're trying to get pregnant. now I live in the NYC metro area where people don't even think about marriage until about age 30, let alone have kids.... don't let anyone fool you, not EVERYONE your age is having kids, and even some of those who are married for many years like you are still not. you have lives to live, and time to spare. so live it how you want while you have the time :)

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  23. I rarely comment on blogs, but felt compelled to do so. I got married when I was 19 to my high school sweetheart. I am now 29, sadly Inching dangerously close to 30 and have been married for 9 years. We still don't have children. I can't remember how long you said you guys have been married (which doesn't really matter) but I completely understand the questions and judgements of not having kids. We are the last of our friends to not have kids (most have 2 by now) and I am just fine with it. We have 2 dogs and a cat, so there are definitely days of non peace. So enjoy, travel, and grow up together. Eventually you will start to feel it's time for a baby or its not. *raising glass* Cheers to just enjoying marriage! End longest comment ever.

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  24. I am a strong believer that cheese makes everything better.. so two pounds full sounds like an amazing meal!
    I am most definitely in the same funk mood, the desire is all there, but the motivation to actually get it done is lacking, to say the least! Hope you get out of your funk soon! :)

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  25. I am SO with you on the peace and quiet thing. We want to have kids soon, but every now then I look around our mostly neat-and-pretty little home and wonder, why are we disturbing this? I wish living in the present was more valued. One day we'll look back and smile at the evenings we could just relax in a clean home with a glass of wine.

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  26. I appreciate that you are enjoying the peace and quiet! Most people take advantage of that, and then regret not taking it all in when they had it! Also, totally in love with the Coffee mug! Perfect gift for my girlfriends for the Holidays!

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  27. This post makes me want to hug you around the neck and be your best friend. All while listening to Jack Johnson and sipping coffee while watching Sideways, Perks of being a Wallflower, or some other similar movie. You rock, for reals. One of my fave posts right there. Have a great weekend, and you and your grandfather are still in my prayers.

    XOXO
    Christine (another kidless lady and loving every bit of it)

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  28. "I now just remembered I need to purge my whole household of basically everything I own" Um, here too!! I love your heart in this post. Thank you SO much for the mug feature :) xoxo

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  29. I totally understand your no kids life-style right now. We get the question a lot, too, especially since a lot of our friends have 1 (or 2!) littles running around already. Do we want kids? You bet. Right now? Not an option. Trying to finish grad school and settle into jobs we love so we can have some sanity and stability in our lives before we loose it all to children...well, you understand. :) Anyways, raise that glass of wine and cheers to life before littles!

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  30. UGH! The kids questions- I JUST got married in July and the only thing I've heard since is; "when are you planning on kids?" "are you pregnant yet" etc. Seriously- calm down people!
    PS- I'm only 23, and in the words of sweet brown- "ain't nobody got time fo dat"
    I like sleeping through the night. And not changing diapers. And having nice things without sticky finger prints all over them!

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  31. I love posts that let me get a peek inside the bloggers' mindset at the current moment! Always feels more intimate, which is nice :) I'm exactly the same way as you - don't give me time and I want to do so many things, give me time and all I want to do is lay in bed. Womp. Also, while I agree with the whole ladies should make the home nice for their fellas - I think it should be a mutual thing on all counts! Not just women for men, but also I think everyone who is residing together under the same roof should show some common courtesy and kindness and put some thought into making your home nice and lovely. It'll make home all the better for everyone involved! :)

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  32. Why do people assume that as soon as you get married that you are ready for kids? This absolutely drives me crazy. It's like we are on a timeline by everyone else's standards. I'm too lazy to get up and let the dog out at night and maybe I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure you can't ignore a child like you can the dog.

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  33. I am so with you on this. No kids and no desire! Maybe one day that will change, but for now I'll just keep enjoying my freedom.

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  34. Can you do another house tour?? that will keep you busy and or come to PA and decorate my house :) Im sure your grandpa smiled down when you received those cashews :) Im so sorry for your loss, I lost my nanny and pop pop both last year. Theres nothing to help except remember the good times and look and cherish every picture you can find! xoxo PS enjoy the peace and quiet!!!!!!

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  35. Don't worry, Erin. My philosophy is that you can never have too much cheese!
    Our Fairy Tale

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  36. I'm with you on the peace and quiet, and not having kids. I don't think I'll ever get bored of it though lol.

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)