11.06.2013

Things I'll Never Understand

sweater

Why men take on the assumption that NOTHING needs to be put away. Like nothing. Ever

How people leave Target only purchasing what they originally intended to purchase.

People who don't put limes in their beer.

Cats.

Bloggers. Top knots, chambray, red lipstick, colored tights, selfies. Everything about us is weird.

People who choose not to dance when there is a dance floor at their disposal.

Stop signs in neighborhoods. I still consider them "optional". 

Hose. Not to be confused with hoes. Because I totally understand those. 

Google+.

When I ask people if they love mac and cheese and they respond with "It's okay". IT'S MACARONI AND CHEESE YOU IDIOTS. IT'S MORE THAN OKAY. 

Why my pants don't button anymore. 

Dusting in places that never get seen. 

Listening to music quietly.

People who say words in their entirety. Abbreviations were created for a reason, use them. Totes duh.

How I lived before Blogstomp

Mean people.

Why Brad Pitt chose Angelina over Jennifer. IT'S JENNIFER ANISTON YOU IDIOT. 

Tags that read "hand wash only". People actually do that? 

People who remember everybody else's name. Don't these people have anything else to think about? Like when the next season of The Bachelor starts...

People who don't watch The Bachelor. 

Underwear? Panties? Private Part Covers? I don't know what women are supposed to call them.

Indiana weather and why I live here.

Why yoga pants aren't considered "work appropriate".

Why Giuliana Rancic hasn't asked me to move in with her and Bill yet.

How people just assume you want children. Like it's not a life altering decision or anything. 

Why men don't look like death without makeup but women...another story.

When it is appropriate to end a blog post. I'm going to go ahead and select "now". 

Tell me--what is one thing you'll never understand...
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87 comments:

  1. I don't understand...
    Why bosses send emails after 5pm and expect a reply that night. Off the clock buddy!

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  2. I love this post. Especially the one about men never putting anything away. What I don't understand is people who say, "I don't really watch TV."

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  3. I love this post. Especially the one about men never putting anything away. What I don't understand is people who say, "I don't really watch TV."

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  4. Why I can look at a piece of pizza and gain more belly flab while men everywhere can eat a whole pie and just get "stronger."

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  5. Why my husband does not get the value of a scarf. Oh and why he doesn't understand that yes I need ALL of those pairs of shoes in my, ahem, our closet.

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  6. I don't understand people who don't LOVE Sweet Tea :)

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  7. I enjoyed the "nude leggings" comment that's on your Instagram...because who understands those? Also, I was just discussing about putting things away to my husband last night...not that it matters. Fun post!

    xoKylee

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  8. I love this! :) so great!! totally agree with the target statement??

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  9. I don't understand ombré hair. When my hair looks like that, it means it's time to visit the hairdresser.

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  10. People who don't see Ben & Jerry's as a freezer staple. Or fishnet tights as a wardrobe staple.

    NEW POST: Redefining "Success"
    http://ericaligenza.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/redefining-success/

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    Replies
    1. People who don't see Ben & Jerry's as a freezer staple scare me!

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  11. I'm with you on the Indiana weather. I also don't get people who say they don't really like chocolate. I mean it's chocolate and it should have its own food group, what's not to like?

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  12. I don't understand people who don't do their makeup and hair. Yes, I will run to the grocery store to pick up milk with a pony tail and no makeup but I will never ever understand "wash and go" girls. I am not myself without a full face of makeup and a teasing come. I mean even when I wear my hair in a pony tail I've got some back combing going on in the crown. I mean the higher the hair the closer to God right? Maybe it's just because I'm from the deep south haha.

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  13. i'll never understand why people need to pull their car to the left to make a right-hand turn...or pull right to make a left-hand turn. get out of my way, people...and TURN already!! ;)

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  14. I am so with you on the Brad Pitt thing. I've never seen the big deal about Angelina. Jennifer on the other hand is such a natural beauty!

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  15. High waisted pants...... and unibrows. Make.it.stop.

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  16. HA! Hose... not to be confused with hoes.
    Made. my. day.

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  17. I'll preface this by saying, my husband is awesome, and he puts up with so much of my crap with very little complaint. However. Why is it that we can have the exact same cold at the same time, and he will refuse to do any basic childcare because he "doesn't want to get them sick"? (WTF! It probably originated with one of them!) Then he makes asinine comments about how I must not be as sick as him. Who the hell else is going to feed the 3-year-old!?! Or take the 5-year-old to school? Idiot. I'll never understand the man cold. I will also never understand people who think leggings and a crop top is "dressed", or why Brad chose Angelina. Jenn is way more awesome. Of course, Justin is hotter than Brad. So she came out alright.

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  18. great post! I totally agree with men not putting things away!

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  19. As usual, an awesome post. I'd have to add 'the Kardashians' to your list. I mean, I do not understand why they are famous, but that doesn't mean I can stop watching them - what's that about?! xx

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  20. When people write emails or faxes, and call you to ask if you've received it before they even press "send". Give a girl a chance buddy, geez.

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  21. I don't understand why people see the need to play music on their phones while they're out in public. First of all, I DON'T want to hear it, and second of all, if you're in public, it's NOT gonna sound good! USE HEADPHONES PEOPLE!

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  22. I couldn't agree more. Especially with the "optional" stop signs in neighborhoods. I also don't understand the 25-35 MPH on main roads when one could EASILY go 50... not that I ever have.

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  23. Come on it's Jennifer Aniston! Ben is dumb fo realz.

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  24. why people choose to speak incorrectly and sound like a dumbass

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  25. This is fantastic!! Seriously so funny. I am so with you on the mac & cheese. I've never met a mac & cheese I didn't like. And google+. Do people even use that??

    xoxo Jenny

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  26. Haha! you always make me laugh girl. Yes we bloggers are weeeeeird.

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  27. My daughter got a cookbook for Christmas last year of like a million different versions of Mac & Cheese. The latest that she wants to try is a Grilled Cheese sandwich stuffed with Mac & Cheese. I feel like you and her would get along great!

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  28. great post! I totally agree with the one with Brad Pitt. Who could pass up Jennifer Aniston?

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  29. Totally with you on the Target thing! They're masters of subliminal advertising or something those Target folks!

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  30. Oh my gosh YES to the mac and cheese one! And I don't understand people who don't share clothes with their roommates. My apartment generally has an open closet policy.

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  31. why more people don't follow my blog. come on people…idiots. KIDDING!

    check me out people - http://farmerbell.blogspot.com #shamelessplug

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    Replies
    1. Haha! I'm with you on that! I ask all kinds of questions and try to get my audience involved, and I don't have a single comment!
      www.onadailybasis.com

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  32. I don't dance and avoid it at all costs. I hate it. Hate. I also don't watch The Bachelor. However, I do LOVE macaroni and cheese.

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  33. The Jennifer Anniston one is my fav as I am STILL HUNG UP ON THAT. As for my own, I don't understand weird college girl trends (ugg boots, monogram vests, oversized t-shirts with running shorts) and, furthermore, why I pick up on them at age 28.

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  34. People who say "I don't eat dessert." Big fat liars, all of them.

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  35. Target, dance floors and "hand wash only" tags - so spot on! Great post!

    To add to the list - Money exchange rates when you're traveling. Will forever boggle my mind.

    - Shay @ Many the Miles

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  36. Mac n Cheese -- YES I don't trust anyone who doesn't eat Mac n Cheese..

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  37. HA! I love the one on why men don't wear makeup and look hot. Baffles the mind!

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  38. HILARIOUS! Eva @ evamarietaylor.com told me about your blog. I'm going to stalk your blog a bit now. (in a totally not scary way) ok thanks. ;-)

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  39. I call those stop signs "stoptional".

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  40. hahaha "why men never put anything away" AMMEEN sister! and I totally agree with the Indiana weather and why I live here, I often wonder the same exact thing!!

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  41. I don't always put limes in my beers because I get nervous about bar fruit being dirty. I think WAY too much!

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  42. People who can eat just one piece of pizza, those who say I don't like frosting, and that a wine bottle has 4 servings (2 at best).

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  43. Love this! I don't understand how people would rather freeze in the snow than relax on the beach. I'll pick Florida over Alaska any day. Sorry for all you snow bunnies out there.

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  44. Why I always have to go to the bathroom immediately after getting out of the shower. WTF.

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  45. I don't understand how I had something I didn't understand and then I read through the comments and completely forgot what I was saying. Fail.

    Also, I will more than likely be stealing this idea in the near future.

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  46. I don't understand why people put kleenex boxes in the back window of their car.

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    Replies
    1. Yes! Especially when the box gets all faded and starts falling apart! Who wants to use one of those tissues!?

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  47. How men have the ability to fall asleep in a matter of seconds. At least, my hubby does. It takes me a good hour or two before my body finally gives in.

    Oh, and I think I'm completely incapable of shopping anywhere without getting more than I intended. I either don't buy anything at all (purely out of being overwhelmed by too many good things) or buy extra. Even the grocery store gets bonus purchases from me!

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  48. E-cigarettes! And those that think its ok to smoke them inside. It's the principle fact that there's no smoking allowed! My fiance said he is just going to start crop dusting those people!! Lol

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  49. You KILL me. This is so freaking funny. There's a reason you're my favorite blooger :)

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  50. I agree with so many of these - and definitely am one that cannot leave Target without 10 other things I never knew I "needed" till I saw in store.

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  51. The target one is so true! Nothing can be on my list, and I'll still come out with 15 things!

    agirlandhersparkles.blogspot.com

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  52. ok so blogstomp, i saw you tweet about it the other day, but it confuses me! maybe i'm dumb (no thats definitely the case) but is it just for pictures?

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  53. why goosebumps make my legs bumpy RIGHT AFTER SHAVING. UGH

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  54. I don't understand why I'm the only one who can put toilet paper on the roll.. When every day my husband takes a 30 minutes crap and places it on top of the empty roll. Totes, duh (loved it)

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  55. Why the tags on all my son's pajamas say "not flame resistant." Seriously.. every single pair.

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  56. I live in Indiana too, and I adore the weather. Especially today, it's so cozy.
    And I'm gonna guess that your pants don't button because of all the mac and cheese. But I could be wrong. I call undergarments either undergarments or knickers because apparently I'm an old British lady. And my husband listens to music quietly, and I just don't understand it. We have the radio set to wear it's too loud for him and too quiet for me so neither of us is entirely happy with it. Ah compromise.
    Mana
    Fashion and Happy Things

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  57. Now don't get your panties in a bunch but I don't understand how people do not want children! I totally respect their decision, but I dont understand it. I have three, would have liked more, but couldn't .

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  58. Strangers who don't seem to have a personal bubble..or sense of someone else and their bubble. 1ft is too close buddy.

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  59. I will never understand how you can lie a screaming baby down beside a man and they don't. wake. up. For the love...Just help me with the baby, K? Also, I will never understand how little kids can make a mess in a millisecond, why tollbooths and tollroads exist (do they really use that money to improve roads?) and also why people watch Honeyboo boo.

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  60. Not even kidding, someone told me I looked like Jennifer Aniston a couple of days ago. Yes OBVI I wrote a blog post about that. Anyway, I'll never understand why my money tree in the backyard won't grow. I've planted like, 200 pennies and NOTHING. So lame.

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  61. My personal mantra about neighborhood stop signs is: Slight Touch Of Pedal. Only minimal slowing is needed.

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  62. I totally agree with you on the Jennifer Aniston thing. WAY hotter than Angelina in my opinion.

    I will never understand polygamists. I mean sure, every guy wants to have multiple partners and have it be OK, but those ladies are totally getting the raw end of the deal. Where are their multiple husbands?

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    1. Multiple husbands? Seriously? That sounds like a lot of laundry...

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  63. I would advise against treating stop signs in Texas optional. You WILL get pulled over. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience. Stupid Texas cops!

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  64. This reminds me that I was going to make some mac-n-cheese before bed. I'm glad I'm not the only person who totes uses all the abbreviations.

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  65. Celebrities who "forget to wear their Underwear? Panties? Private Part Covers?", how exactly does one do that? - Love the post!

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  66. cats... that made my day! amazing post!

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  67. oh man i can relate to a lot of these! people definitely need to stop assuming i've just defaulted to wanting children. it is not a decision one should default to - especially when the default route is a "yes"! yeah we bloggers ARE pretty weird. i'm pretty sure that we could be a species studied by behavioral scientists...and i don't mean GOMI.

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  68. hahaha love this post! I love my cat, but you got me on the rest!! I also don't understand people who don't crave chocolate! How is that possible?!?!

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  69. I just found your blog today and wanted to tell you I LOVE it. I am embarrassed to admit that I spent over an hr. going through post after post (and I am sure I will continue to all weekend!). You are hilarious and are without a doubt going to be one of my new favorite blogs. :-)

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  70. HA we are pretty weird as bloggers, huh? And I couldn't agree more... these are all dead on! Especially mac and cheese and Target... Target is going to single handedly make me bankrupt.

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  71. one of my favorite posts ever. i will never understand people not on facebook. they should be arrested or something.
    www.etsystalkers.com

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  72. Definitely Google+! For the life of me, I can NOT get on that bandwagon.

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  73. i don't understand people who don't like dessert.

    PS totally stoptional.

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  74. Soooooo totally with you on the whole Angelina vs Jennifer debacle!

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  75. I struggle with Target every single time. I can't ever walk away with just my list of items. Example: I go in for toilet paper, batteries, laundry soap and socks (random as usual) and leave with toilet paper, a purse, a piece of furniture, sheets, picture frames, socks, and deodorant. That's 2 out of the 4 items....... plus 5 more. Hubby says it's a fail.... I say it's a major success. :)

    Google+ ..... I'm lost.

    The children thing ---- struggling with this on the daily. I have 2 bonus children and I am a nanny to 2. My family can't understand why my husband and I are undecided about having children together. I AM EXHAUSTED, PEOPLE (cough cough, mom!)

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)