10.24.2013

Awkward & Awesome Thursday

top: kiki la'rue // long necklace: threads // short necklace: ko designs
awkward

1. Walking through security in the Phoenix airport and being stopped for having explosives detected. We're talking full take me into a little tiny room with a very large lady who appeared to like women, getting the full crotch rub, while wearing a shirt that says HELLO GORGEOUS. I don't recommend rubbing bomb juice all over your body prior to flying or whatever it is that I apparently got myself into that morning. At least now I can say I've had a woman rub my crotch? Never mind. There is no positive in this matter. 
2. Wearing brand new pants with a fancy little cuff at the bottom and having one of your heels get stuck in them mid-walk through the hallway at work. All you need to know is I flew..far. And there were gasps. And a couple "oh my gosh you almost hit that brick wall!!!"s. All of this to say I am no longer going to wear pants to work. Stay tuned for next week's awkward moments. 
3. Asking a little girl if you can go pee before her while in line at a public bathroom. It wouldn't have been AS awkward if I wasn't crossing my legs and bobbing up and down but I mean, I was. 
4. When somebody near you on a plane releases the air that comes from their insides. I try not to be so dramatic in such events but I can't help but hide my face under anything that will dispose of the smell while yelling to my husband "DO YOU SMELL THAT!??!" "THIS IS AWFUL!" "I THINK I MIGHT DIE!" and then slowly proceed into my 2 minute death. 
5. When a little boy hands you this package....
Anytime kid. Anytime. Ashley, you are teaching him well my friend ;)
awesome

1. It's 11:30 am. On a Wednesday. And I am sitting here drinking coffee, water, and a rum and diet. While eating a chocolate bar none the less. Not being at work > being at work. 
2. Adults who still roll in their cars with windows down, blaring old school Tupac. This point may have been inspired by my neighbor who just passed by my window. Every single time I want to give him a fist pound for keeping it real. 
3. That piko top up above. I'm not really sure where the term "piko" comes from as it appears to be a "shirt with long sleeves" but I'm not one for arguing fashion descriptions. Aside from oxblood. That one I will argue because why would anybody want to wear something that was dyed in an ox's blood? Back to that top though. Apparently when one goes on vacation, they eat a lot. So much so that they might not be able to button their jeans. Piko tops are the perfect solution to this dilemma. You can find a slew of them here. My guess is that they are still cute even if you don't need to unbutton your pants but I wouldn't really know. 
4. Starting your morning in this fashion for six solid days in a row. 
God bless people who have more money than I that can actually make this a reality every day of their lives. May they be inspired to share their wealth with those of us who like sipping coffee poolside in the am.

5. Scarf season. Better than a man's view of skirt season in my opinion.
I found your perfect scarf for the season (not that you need just one) and you may find it over at Kiki La'Rue. This thing is softer than my dog's fur who happens to keep peeing on the floor. The dog keeps peeing, not the scarf. I don't get it either. Regardless, buy the scarf. That's really all I was trying to say. Anybody need a dog?

And because I mentioned Kiki La'Rue twice in today's post, I feel like I should give you $100 to spend there. It only seems appropriate. You are so welcome. NOW. One awkward thing that has happened to you recently? Leave it below. My stomach wants to laugh.

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45 comments:

  1. I love that outfit on you! Ha awkward #2 sounds like something I would do, I am beyond clumsy & awkward #5 is HILARIOUS!! I'm with you on Awesome #2 and I want to live the life of awesome #4 please. That is all. Wait, how do all you gorgeous bloggers pull off scarves. I feel like those damn things are strangling me! Okay, now that is all. ;)

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  2. I love everything about this post! So funny! I leave for vacation Sunday and I can't wait!

    agirlandhersparkles.blogspot.com

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  3. I love you because you make me laugh even before my morning caffeine makes me human. That's talent my friend! I have so many awkward moments, it's hard to keep track of them all! One of my latest and greatest happens almost every Thursday during my wonderful adult ballet class. Tinkling problem due to old age and childbirth + jumping up and down a million times in a row = embarrassing (and wet) moment.

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  4. My awkward moment is repeatedly picking up my cat from various neighbors. Seriously, who cares if a cat is roaming around the neighborhood? Isn't that what cats do? Granted, this cat can be pretty annoying, but I've never known neighbors to hate cats so much. Do I just not let her out anymore?

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  5. My awkward moment keeps happening...my husband and I told our families and close friends that we are trying to have a baby. I'm a heavy set girl and since we have been trying for a little over a year I have been stress eating since it isn't happening and may have put on a couple pounds. Now EVERY time they see me they always congratulate me on being pregnant. I feel like the girl who cried wolf...when I do become pregnant they probably won't believe me! HAH.

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  6. My latest awkward would be shopping with my girls trying to find a top to wear for an interview. Inside the dressing room my 3 year old announces that something is wrong with my stomach because it is hanging out. My 6 year old corrects her "no Mommy just has a chubby belly". Thanks kids, I feel the love :)

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  7. ooh thanks for the giveaway! most of my awkward stories lately revolve around a coworker. the other day she yelled across to me in another stall in the bathroom (awkward) and as she was peeeing said "ahhh i could just go all day." I was like, yeah, see ya. shudder.
    -- jackie @ jade and oak

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    Replies
    1. I hate bathroom talk when I'm in the stall! Please just let me do my business in peace. Otherwise, its just....awkward.

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  8. I may or may not have marched up to the exit doors at Target waiting for them to open and let me into the store :) classic! They should all be standard darn it!

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  9. Awesome giveaway..thanks! :) What size are you wearing in the piko? I can never decide what size to get because I've heard they run a bit looser.

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  10. I was feeling great at work in a new cute dress until I was half way down the hall and realized the back was stuck in the top of my tights from the bathroom. Fail.

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  11. So funny about your awkward airport moment because the same thing happened to my husband when we left a few weeks ago for vacation! Me being the anxious traveler that I am and who likes to get to the gate at least an hour early gave him this look as to say WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR POCKET?

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  12. So funny about your awkward airport moment because the same thing happened to my husband when we left a few weeks ago for vacation! Me being the anxious traveler that I am and who likes to get to the gate at least an hour early gave him this look as to say WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR POCKET?

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  13. One awkward thing .... I recently cut of 11" of my hair to donate .... when I went to check out, the hairdresser set the ponytail on the counter. The receptionist got so excited, all reason left her and she decided she needed to pick it up ... and take the rubber band holding all the hair together OFF ... and then she proceeded to DROP the hair on the floor. Needless to say, my hair won't be on anyone else's head anytime soon :(

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  14. Can I tell on my husband? Just because it's really funny... He took my daughters to the park to ride bikes and my 6th grader invited a friend to join them. Later my husband tells me that her "friend" was a boy and said boy was "just a little crazy", acting silly and annoying the whole time. I replied, "So... you're telling me that your daughter likes a boy that acts just like you? Shocking!!!" Oh yes.... :D

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  15. One awkward thing .... I recently cut of 11" of my hair to donate .... when I went to check out, the hairdresser set the ponytail on the counter. The receptionist got so excited, all reason left her and she decided she needed to pick it up ... and take the rubber band holding all the hair together OFF ... and then she proceeded to DROP the hair on the floor. Needless to say, my hair won't be on anyone else's head anytime soon :(

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  16. we share in many awkward moments....

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  17. I am obsessed with Piko tops but EVERY. FREAKING. TIME I go to get one, it's sold out in the color I want... yes, it's the color you're wearing... DAMN YOU GIRL! :)

    Ugh, I hate the rub down... wonder what set them off at the airport!!!

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  18. When you find the wealthy people willing to spread the wealth, I'll join you for those morning coffees. I'll even bring the "Irish" Creamer! ;)

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  19. I was at the gym, doing some squats on the BOSU ball and lost my balance and face planted into the mirror on the wall. All the meat heads in the gym turned around! #awkward #fail

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  20. I was running to chase the dog back to the patio the other night, slipped in the mud, barely caught myself, and somehow managed to still find the patio step, but dumped my entire beer all over me in the process...#partyfoul the husband and his BFF got a REAL big kick out of it...

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  21. I got the old security feel up in Washington DC. Not fun at all.
    Some great stories!

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  22. This had me cracking up at my desk. And the other day I texted one of the younger students I am training a message that was meant for my boyfriend. It wasn't too bad, except I used a pet name! Pretty awkward having to apologize for that!

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  23. I was reading this post in line at the store and cackled (seriously, cackled. btw, cackled starts to sound like an inappropriate word the more you say it). I have tripped over so many pants like that. And your sweet note from that little boy. Yeah, I'm laughing at that too. :) And nothing awkward has ever happened to me. *CACKLE* Okay, I met an author this weekend that I really admire and just stood there in awkward silence just staring at her. The words wouldn't come out of my mouth. I'm not giving the best description of how awkward it was, but just know that there was boob sweat. And when there's boob sweat, that's the first sign of an awkward situation.

    Hannah
    hannahbunker.com

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  24. We were at McDonalds for my daughters 1st birthday lunch, and my 2 year old niece got stuck up in the tunnels in play place. So I climbed up to help her out and in the process split the crotch of my jeans.... I then had to follow her down the slide to where the rest of the family (inlaws included) were waiting. #awkward

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  25. You crack me up! Your stories sound like things that occur to me.

    Awkward situations somehow always find me. My most recent comes from a patient at work. He always is super friendly and tells me how nice I am. Well, the other night I was obviously extra nice...too nice. He proceeded to say "Darlin, if I could walk, i'd chase you."... he is paralyzed from the waist down.

    Uh, thanks?

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  26. This post is AWESOME because I happen to be listening to Tupac. right. now.
    There's just something about old school 90's rap that makes the work day that much better.

    Sorry its not an awkward post, just an awesome one :-)

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  27. Yep, I busted out the scarves this week too! And I love that awkward little boy note!

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  28. Here's awkward for ya: on my rotation last month, I had a teenage girl come in with blue, tingly fingers and I confidently diagnosed her with Raynaud's (google that ;)). My supervising doctor (who just happenes to be very - um...flamboyant? - came in with me to check things over and proceeded to clean her fingers off with an alcohol wipe. He then said, "Um yeaaa, you haven't washed those jeans yet have you? Dark wash will do that." Clinical decision making FAIL on my part! :)

    xoxo, Steph
    White Coat Wardrobe

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  29. laughed out loud at #1 & #3! hysterical :)

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  30. I would love to be able to sit on the beach all day everyday, oh dreams! And thanks for the Kiki giveaway, fingers crossed!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  31. I could spot that KO necklace from a mile away (ok..maybe not that far, I'm blind) ... but it looks fab on you! and OMG to the airplane diddy ... I took a short flight from NY to MA and BOTH men on either sides of me took their shoes and socks off. I literally thought I was being Punk'd lol!!

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  32. Olive is your color girlfriend! So gorgeous. Have a wonderful weekend!

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  33. i love that outfit! cool and casual..hmm, something awkard..well, i totally burped in front a guy friend today that just became my friend like 2 weeks ago and have only seen him like 3x. it's ok because it's not like i was trying to impress him. he didnt seem to mind hahah,

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  34. Awkward: my grandpa telling me that he going to start a rumor that I'm pregnant. ACT YOUR AGE, grandpa.

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  35. my entire life is awkward. can we discuss where you got those rolled up jeans? super cute.
    www.etsystalkers.com

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  36. I was at an event a few weeks ago with some professional athletes doing an autograph signing. The only thing I had grabbed for them to autograph were some golf balls with the team logo on them. Without even thinking, I went up to the 2 players and said "Can you sign my balls, please?" I was MORTIFIED after everyone busted out laughing at me especially because I used to work with the two staffers that were with them! Needless to say, I haven't shown my face since.

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  37. most awkward moment recently involved me seeing another driver pull into an empty parking spot next to my car and then i saw that person scratch another car's passenger side door while doing it. they saw me. i saw them. it was clearly a hit and run but they did leave a note...so i suppose that counts for something.

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  38. I kind of got offended for you that you got molested by airport security...Did you know that they can get hired straight out of high school? Makes me feel soooo safe. Woohoo for Kiki La'Rue!

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  39. You are so adorable and funny! I am so glad that I found your blog through Kiki La'Rue's facebook page. I am a new fan for sure!

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  40. My life is one big awkward moment! I have a 3 year old daughter who is extremely talkative and doesn't keep anything to herself! She asks me awkward questions all the time. Yesterday while at Target she asked me "What's that smell, Mommy? I think someone's pooping!" Umm... yes dear they are, we are in a bathroom... please be quiet!! Oh and then at Macy's the lady helping me was deaf and had to read my lips... my daughter asked me why she talked funny! I said that's not nice to say honey, she's hard of hearing! Thank goodness the lady couldn't hear her. Loved all your awkward moments!! Too funny! Found you through Kiki La 'Rue! Happy I did.

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  41. I was giggling at the first Awkward & full on peeing by the end. Thank you for that.
    xx
    Here&Now

    Please take 2 seconds to vote for me!

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  42. I thought I was the only one who had more than one awkward moment per week. Thanks for making me feel better :).

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  43. I just laughed until I snorted at this entire post.

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  44. Among the many acid stuffs that anyone accept to agreement with as a tolerable furry friend buyer could be the fact you impose to aces up after the Pet names for girls. You do not accept this kind of botheration that has a seafood.

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)