7.16.2013

What I Have Learned In My 26 Years Of Life...


Well the day has come. 
That time where one age says to the other age "get the haiiiiiiiiillll outta here, I'm takin' over for the next 365 days.." Some people get distraught when their age starts having these arguments with older ages, but me? I'm all like "WHO CARES?! JUST GIVE ME CAKE!" And then I typically smear lipstick all over my face in celebration. 

With this whole birthday thing taking place I figured now would be a good time to do one of those "what I have learned in the past twenty-six years of my life.." type of posts. And while I may not know the name of all 52 states (or is it 50? whatever), there are some things I have stored in that brain of mine. Lets begin. 

1. For starters, always age yourself one year in advance. For the past year I have told everybody I am 27. Not as a lie, but because I truly believed I was 27 the minute I turned 26. It really makes the whole "turning a year older" thing not nearly as painful. But seriously though, I am excited to get older. 30's are the new 20's and 40's are the new..uhh never mind, 40 is just old. That's a joke all of you 40+ readers. You are still in your prime, don't sweat it. But 50 though? That's a different story. 
 
2. Words are cooler with a hash tag in front of them. #toldyou

3. Bedding is meant to be washed more than once a year. And yes, I learned this just this past year. #donthate 

4. Making a list of things you want to accomplish in a years time is really just a waste of time and makes for a better link-up party than an actual reality. Fortunately I accomplished the most important item on the list..meet Giuliana in the living flesh. 

5. Stalking celebs on Twitter is well worth the time and mental exhaustion. Proof above.

6. Fast food while fast, will eventually make you fat and tired. 

7. Locking yourself in your bedroom as a child and not letting yourself come out until you have memorized every single line to "Whooomp There It Is" is one of the best ways you can spend 4 hours of your life. 

8. Wine has incredible healing abilities. So does God. Put the two of them together and WHOA. 

9. There is a reason why crimp rhymes with pimp. 

10. Nothing will ever be as good as it once was. For example, Star Crunches, Nintendo, fruit roll ups, cigarette candy, nutter butters, spice girls, adidas superstars, facebook, and nacho lunchables. 

11. People do not spend nearly as much time thinking about you as you spend thinking about yourself. Stop convincing yourself of this. 

12. Middle school aged kids will always be the most awkward. Always. 

13. Loud Music + Loud Singing + Loud Dancing = one heck of a happy moment. 

14. Responding with either "your mom" or "bend over and I'll show ya" is all you really need say when responding to ANYTHING. 

15. There is food and there is Chipotle. Eat Chipotle.

16. Your parents truly are the greatest and know what is best for you. Even when you are 14 and they most likely hate your guts. 

17. Tanning every single day might be a bit excessive. A bit. 

18. Kittens are cute. Cats are horrifying. 

19. The world is one big giant canvas just waiting for you to leave your mark. Same goes with Styrofoam leftover containers. 

20. Tom Petty rules the world. Basically.
 
21. Stupid people are exactly that, stupid. The older I get the more this one becomes glaringly obvious.

22. Singing the national anthem while folding laundry makes the task of putting laundry away seem a lot less sucky and a lot more...patriotic? 

23. Sunsets are worth watching. 

24. Life gets messy...you spill things, you shatter things, you get oil all over you when cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Just embrace it...nobody has the time to be perfect. And if they do, they most likely suck.
 

25. Forget toilets. Peeing in the shower is where it's at. I mean... 

26. Last but not least, the most important thing.... #macaroniandcheeseforever

And that concludes every single thing I know. 

**In celebration of the big 27 use the code BIRTHDAY for 50% off all ad sizes**

Photobucket
PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

Share/Bookmark

84 comments:

  1. wait, is today your birthday? ME TOO! & Will Ferrell? Explains why we're all so hilarious.

    Secondly, yes sunsets and chipotle!

    & what kind of camera are you using in that bathroom-mirror selfie?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bahahahaha! Peeeing in the shower is by far the funniest thing I've heard...or maybe I should have said grossest, but hey, potato, patoato. ;) Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yay for another nerd who says "your mom" to everything!

    ReplyDelete
  4. 4. Still makes me smile! 6. I beg to differ, Chick-fil-A is fast food and rocks the universe! 9. OMG Happy Birthday!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Happy Birthday...I love this list...its great...you are hilarious...you really make me laugh every day and HOLY AMAZEBALLS you have a real life pic with Guliana ( one n or two nn's ) Rancic! OMG Love her!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happy Happy Birthday! I linked up with you last year for my 21 in 21...and also failed miserably, so you're not alone!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hands down HILARIOUS!!!! Just freaking hilarious!!! Love them all!!
    Jules

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hope you had such a happy birthday!! I absolutely love reading your blog- you're so hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Happy birthday! And, I spit my drink out when I read your first point, because I just did that EXACTLY (only a decade ahead of you). I'm thinking there must be something about any age that ends in '7'...because I actually turned 37 last Friday - but I had just spent the ENTIRE previous year telling people I was 37. My husband corrected me last week when I told someone I was about to be 38, and when I did the math, he was right. BAM, I got an extra year!!! ;) So, I'm guessing it's the 'ends in 7' thing....or else us July girls just need to take a math refresher class. ;) Hope you've had a great birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Shhh..I haven't learned the washing your bedding thing more than once a year yet. And damn, I just threw out my crimper last year. There's only 1 thing I'd argue with you on- nutter butters and star crunches will FOREVER be delicious.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Happy Birthday!! Seriously hilarious! You were one of the first blogs I read and a part of why I became a blogger so thanks! Rock it out girl!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Seriously... I think middle school is the one thing that NO ONE would EVER want to repeat. Those are some awkward times, for sure!

    And that crimped bob? You rocked it... seriously! Now I want to go through my old photos. But then again I kind of don't. :)

    Chelsea from Sunny with a Chance of Sprinkles

    ReplyDelete
  13. Happy birthday beautiful! Loved this post!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Happy birthday beautiful! Loved this post!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. This list is so funny and brilliant! Haha thanks for the words of wisdom and happy birthday!!

    -Chelsea
    chelsandthecity.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Happy birthday beautiful!!!!!!!
    This is hilarious and so true. Especially #8 and #20 ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Happy Birthday Gorgeous!!! This made me laugh, like whoa! ;) #21...stupid people are just stupid...obvs ;) I couldn't agree with you more!!!
    Love this!!!
    Have a wonderful day and ummm since I know you post the night before for the next day, I just have to say that tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary and well...what a wonderful day july 17th is!! For us both ;)
    Happy Birthday girlie! :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I turned 27 on Wednesday! Happy birthday! Also, #25 is amazing. I mean...

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm related to Tom Petty though marriage...but he has no idea who I am and it's kind of a distant cousin. So there's that...

    Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love everything about this post...as per usual :) Happiest of Birthdays to you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. My birthday is in October and I have a special rule for coping for aging that seems similar to yours. Last October, when I turned 26, I told people I was 26 until December. Then, starting in January, when people asked how old I was, I would say, "27 this year"... I've done this for the past 5 years. I think it gives me a couple of good months to savor my current age, but then several to help me prepare for the actual change. Turning 27 in three months doesn't even phase me now since I've told people I've been 27 for the last 7 months...

    Try it.

    -Kate
    theflorkens.com
    Launching 8.1.13

    ReplyDelete
  22. And happy birthday sweets :) I hope it's amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Happy Birthday birthday twin :) Except I'm celebrating the second anniversary of my 29th!

    ReplyDelete
  24. The best people have birthdays in July ;) Happy birthday sweet friend!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh my crimp 'do!
    Happy Birthday!!! I am not looking forward to having twin middle school girls someday - awkward, hormonal, you name it. Fabulous post!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Happy Birthday! I'm relieved to learn that is lipstick on your face - when I saw it on facebook I thought it was blood lol

    ReplyDelete
  27. So I guess in 4 mths and 3 weeks then I will be the new 20. Yayee. That makes me feel awesome. :D no joke. really it does. Heck my mom will be 56 and she doesnt look old. Just like I dont look my age. It's nice to hear. :D Taking 10 yrs off your age and I can image what it will feel like in a few years from now. We all struggle with the age deal. Just do like my aunt did. She says she's 39 and holding and hell she's been saying that for hell 39 years probably LOL

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY. HOPE IT'S A GREAT ONE. I KNOW IT WILL ROCK.

    ReplyDelete
  28. KILLING me with that crimped hair. #golden
    this is such a great list, especially the last one. oh mac n cheese. true love right there!!
    happy happy birthday!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Happy Birthday Erin! Have an amazing day :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hahahahaaaaa!! Love it. Happy Birthday. I totally agree with #25. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Shut up...."Your Mom" and "Bend over and I'll show you". I almost DIED!! This is all we say in my little circle of buddies. And crimp is PIMP!!! One of my faves from you....and Happy Birthday...oh, to be 26, I mean 27 again...enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Love this and yet again I'm left laughing to myself ha. Lunchtables and fruit roll-ups is defo where it's at! And I knew you spoke to G but I didn't know you met her!! When was this!?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hahaha, spoken like only you could! BEST list of learnt things ever!! Happiest of days and heres to 365 more days of learning 27 new things!! x

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hope you had a fab birthday! Just bought an ad. HOORAY!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Can I just say you are probably one of the biggest reasons I finally started my own blog.. so on that note HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Hope it's a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  36. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE!! #22...hilarious. Why don't I know you in real life? Oh the wine nights we could have! Stupid oceans. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Happy Happy birthday! You are too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  38. You are HILARIOUS! I have learned so much from this list, although I prefer "your face" instead of "your mom". Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  39. One of the best lists ever. HAd a great laugh! Happy Happy!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Gosh I love you. Happy Birthday sweetie!!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Happy Birthday! I love saying hashtag in the middle of a conversation-- people may think you are crazy, especially when you don't skip a beat and continue talking.. but it's all good.
    And forget peeing in the shower-- just take some AZO and pee in your friend's Condo pool, leaving a bright YELLOW trail behind yourself.. especially when all of the condo windows face the pool and it's on video too!
    Oh and I have laundry tonight.. I will be patriotic-- fo 'sho!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Happy Birthday!!! The whole "bend over and I'll show" you from Christmas vacation is in my daily vocabulary so I feel like we could be friends. Also I LOVE Chipotle!! I also pee in the shower- you go girl, you are an awesome 27 year old!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Hilarious! I love everything about this post...and now Im hungry for Chipotle....damn it! Happy B day Erin!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Happy Happy Birthday!!! Hope you have an amazing birthday that's just as amaze balls as you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Happy Birthday!!!! Mine is on Friday, man this is BIRTHDAY week in blog land! I might eat chipotle in honor of you today!

    Carly
    www.lipglossandcrayons.com

    ReplyDelete
  46. Happy Birthday!! I am turning 29 this year...and I realllllly hope your 30s are the new 20s because I am sort of dreading my last year of my 20s.

    ReplyDelete
  47. haha i love this. and you. and your birthday. happy birthday, #shakeatailfeather

    ReplyDelete
  48. Awesome birthday list! Have to disagree on just one thing: Nutter Butter cookies have lost none of their charm! :)
    Justin Knight
    Writing Pad Dad

    ReplyDelete
  49. Happy Birthday Sweet Ozzy! I know you'll make your Birthday as FABULOUS as you are!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Happy Birthday!! haha this post is too funny! My birthday is tomorrow, so we're kinda birthday twins, but not really haha.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Happy Birthday love! Mine is in 10 days!

    xxS

    ReplyDelete
  52. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Happy Birthday Erin! Why is it that those starcrunches just don't taste the same? That stuff was the shizznit back in the day!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Happy birthday!!! I love this!!! I will be 25 next year. I can't say I haven't stressed a little bit about it. But I'm with you, wheres my cake?!!

    Im glad I'm not the only one with the washing the bedding problem....
    Oh starcrunches & nutter butters..... Now I'm hungry.

    ReplyDelete
  55. #20 100%!!! Tom Petty music is always the best.

    Happy birthday :)

    ReplyDelete
  56. Wishing you a very Happy Birthday!!!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Happy Birthday!!! What a wonderful post! Made me laugh, at work. lol. Very much needed. Crazy off topic question. What kind of camera is that annnd is it the one you use to take all the wonderful photos?! :) Thanks. Cheers! P.S to a fellow wine lover... new Limited Ed. Yellow Tail Red Roo out, it's a dark red with a nice sweet taste... :)

    ReplyDelete
  58. speaking of mac and cheese. are all those boxes still sitting in your basement?!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Ok, first of all let me introduce myself. My name is Megan, and we are the same person. Also, "18. Kittens are cute. Cats are horrifying", I don't understand why more people don't realize this...and they smell my fear. The end, happy birthday...and you better have a big ass cake.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Haha happy birthday! What's a star crunch?!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Like I said on Insta, thanks for keeping the blog world fresh! Your blog is one I actually read all the way through. You've got me captivated simply by being you. STOKED to see you in American Blogger. Thanks for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
  62. #2 and #13 #soulsisters #25 #getoutofhere Happy happy birthday Erin!!

    ReplyDelete
  63. that pic of your crimped hair made me spit out my coffee!

    ReplyDelete
  64. 30's are the new 20's obvi
    #14 My bro and husband tend to respond to everything with "that's what she said" the whole week we were camping
    Chipolte rocks!
    #whodoesn'tloveahashtag

    ReplyDelete
  65. Happy birthday! I'm torn on whether the peeing in the shower or the crimped hair is more entertaining!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Happy birthday and YAY to July birthdays! I just celebrated mine last weekend! :)

    ReplyDelete
  67. Fruit. Rollups. Seriously. Happy birthday, Erin! :)

    -Naomi
    http://girldust.com

    ReplyDelete
  68. Ah! I just LOVED this. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. Happy birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  69. this is quite possibly the sweetest post ever! #everyonepeesintheshowertheyjustdontadmitit :)

    ReplyDelete
  70. Our birthday are totally only 2weeks apart. July babes are pretty much awesome. Happy Belated Birthday ;)

    ReplyDelete
  71. Sorry I missed it - happy belated birthday!! LOVE the crimped hair. I actually went perm style in elementary school not crimped...just as awesome. Hope you had an awesome birthday!!

    ReplyDelete
  72. Happy birthday! All of these things are wonderful life lessons! Also, hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  73. This is interesting! I enjoyed reading your great post.Thanks for the valuable information and insights you have shared here.youtube Likes

    ReplyDelete
  74. haha, nr. 22 is the best!! singing the national anthem...this is so magical in actually every situation^^
    Happy belated Birthday :)

    ReplyDelete
  75. These are grrreat life lessons. Happy Belated!!

    ReplyDelete
  76. Happy belated, I found myself nodding along with a lot of these!

    ReplyDelete
  77. i know i am too late, so Happy Birthday cute baby thanks for sharing your memorable pic.ashleyofmanchester

    ReplyDelete

I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)