5.20.2013

10 Reasons Why You Should Judge Me


1. I hide from 99% of people that I know when I see them in public. It's not that I don't like them, it's just I don't really want to see them. Or something. I thrive on efficiency people. Stopping while juggling 3 boxes of shoes, 4 dresses, and two scarves while at Target isn't really what you call convenient. Next time you see me and I am hiding behind a mannequin just play along and act as if you didn't see me either (it will be a lot less awkward that way). It will be like an unspoken game of hide and seek. 

2. I will carry on a conversation with you while my mouth is full of food (even if you ask me to stop). I have this problem where I really love food. No but really. And to be quite honest here, it seems rather rude that you would expect me to put my ultimate love on hold just to finish a sentence. My husband has threatened to buy me a groupon for an etiquette class (really husband? really groupon? DOES NOBODY ELSE OUT THERE LOVE FOOD AND TALKING AT THE SAME TIME?) Again, it's all about efficiency but I digress.

sex to the y. or would it be e? sexy is what i'm gettin' at.

3. I peel off entire shellac manicures in a matter of minutes. This may or may not have happened today. Have you ever peeled off shellac? Well apparently you are supposed to pay like $5 bucks at the nail salon to remove it for you. Something about the words “it destroys your nails”, I don’t know.

4. I long to be the salsa dancer emoticon. Like really bad. I know it’s not good to have idols but how could you not idolize that ball of fiesta goodness? I've always wanted to have a little person in my pocket and she just happens to be the exact person I want. She’s just always so happy. And so darn dancy. It’s gotten to the point that I now catch myself getting into her character while eating dinner out, watching TV, making dinner, etc. Plus, she is the perfect response to ANY text message. Don't know how to handle your friends bad day, husbands request to stop by the hardware store, or dad's random questions? Just send over the salsa dancer! She's gotcha covered. 



5. I have a dirty mind. If there is a gutter to be found, it finds it. I would go into detail here but I don't think it would all fit in this post. That's what she said. 

6. I am way better at being unproductive than productive. It's true. I am a blogger school dropout all of a sudden. I used to hold on my own for the most part around here with getting things done, responding to social media, etc. AND THEN I DISCOVERED SATURDAY AFTERNOON NAPS. Mind blown. 


7. I never lock my car doors. Well, I used to not lock my car doors until just now when I broadcasted that tid bit of information all over the world. Now I lock them like a dang fool. Or will lock them. Whatever. It's just something that takes time and I mean yeah sure I may have had a car stolen before but still. That's like 7 seconds every time you want to enter and exit your vehicle. For the love of all that is holy, who has time for that shaz?

8. I don’t recycle. I know. I just got plastic water bottles thrown at computer screens across America. Here's my deal with this. I am still trying to figure out what constitutes as cardboard, glass, plastic, paper, etc. Throw in the "PAPER ONLY!" signs and my brain can't handle it all. Which is why I love the trash. It just sits there all peaceful like with no threats staring me in the face. I mean think of the anxiety those obnoxious signs cause somebody like me who can't tell if their Snapple bottle is glass or plastic. I swear an alarm will go off and that whole recycle bin will blow up in my face if I get it wrong. At least put a smiley face behind the "PLASTIC ONLY" message. Trash for the win on this one. 

9. Instead of getting groceries one time for the week, I stop at the store every day for that day’s needs. For somebody who thrives on efficiency and saving money, this one makes zero sense. I think I just like being tempted by candy bars every day at the checkout line. I say no to them 99.9% of the time and if that's the only victory I can get in a day's time, you better believe I'll take it. You must do things daily that challenge you kids. Staring a kit kat in the face and overcoming that temptation is challenging and so rewarding. Small victories. It's worth it. Not. 

10. And if for no other reason, judge me because I lied to you and can only come up with 9 valid reasons at the moment on why you should judge me. Except now I think I just gave you 10. Mission tell the world why they should think I am bat ___ crazy accomplished. 

What is one thing I should know about you? I'll try not to judge but if you even say something like "I think Keith Urban is ugly" there will be judgement and it won't be pretty. 

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Today's featured sponsor is Lisa from Daily Style Finds. Lisa has a fabulous blog that is all things fashion. The way she pairs outfits is like outta this world and truly, I have found some great outfit ideas from her. Read a little bit below to get to know Lisa better and make sure to check out her blog..you are doing yourself a service by doing so. Seriously. 
When did you start blogging and why?
I started blogging in January 2012.  I love shopping, and I wanted to share with others my finds and deals.  I think we all struggle with what to wear and how to put things together, so I wanted to find a way to help others and share my ideas.


If you could offer one piece of advice to a new blogger, what would it be?
Be true to yourself.  It is so easy to start thinking that you need to be like everyone else to be successful.  


What does your ideal outfit consist of?
Jeans, leather jacket, and heels.  I am a jeans girl, and other than flip flops, I am always wearing heels. 
I mean how great is this whole ensemble Lisa put together?


If you could summarize your blog (or shop) in three words or less, what would you say?
Online Shopping Stylist  


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46 comments:

  1. this made me crack up. I love when bloggers write like this because it makes you seem so relate-able and definitely lets us get to know you SO much more!

    Ps peeling off shellac is addicting... I bought all the snazzy equipment and tools to do my own shellac manicures.... so I peel em off about once a week

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  2. I peel my shellac off everytime! Speaking of thrifty..save the $5 and peel them off :). No judging here :)

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  3. Thanks Erin. I needed to laugh tonight!

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  4. I am always hiding from people I know in public. It's just awkward...I mean, do you just say "hi" and keep walking, do you stop and talk for one minute, five minutes? It's just too complicated!

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  5. How can I judge you when I do many of the same things. :)

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  6. I have always locked my car doors. When I was living with my parents, both of their cars got stuff stolen from them because they don't lock their cars and mine wasn't touched because I do. Just a habit now. But I don't recycle either. I'm not going to make extra effort to have multiple trash piles and then drive to the recycling bin. Ain't nobody got time for that. And third, I HATE grocery shopping. So much. I try to go once a week or less. My dad is like you though. I think he goes like three times a day sometimes because he forgets things.

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  7. Lol hilarious post! I don't know how you can go grocery shopping everyday though!

    xx

    http://thattallgirlinheels.com

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  8. I am guilty of the shellac problem. It's just too hard to resist.

    I will hide things from people because I don't want to share. I just don't like sharing.

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  9. I am so bad about leaving shellac mani's and mani's in general on my fingers! I get chips especially sans shellac in 20 minutes or so. Guilt always ensues!

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  10. I'm totally guilty of the talking with my mouth full thing. it irritates the crap outta people... but the way I see it is, they do things that annoy me... it's only fair. ;)

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  11. I always check under my bed and in my closet before I go to sleep because I'm a freak who thinks a murderer might someday be under/in there. And yes, my bed is high enough that a murderer could fit under there and go unnoticed. Time to buy a new bed!

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  12. I love this! I ALWAYS talk with my mouth open. The two things I love the most in this world are eating and the sound of my own voice, I just can't pick one! I also strive to be the kick line emoticon. Those two ladies are living life to the fullest.

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  13. Whenever I finish a meal, and I mean whenever, I always construct a perfect last bite. A bite with all the flavors that were in the dish to be finished at the end. I need to end on a good bite! My family, friends, boyfriend always look at me out of the corner of their eye and somply say "Last bite?" as I'm pulling random veggies/saving others. Yes. Last bite.

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  14. I can't believe you have had a car stolen! We drive old vehicles, so no one wants to steal ours, and that's just how we like it! I totally talk and chew. People need to get over themselves about it. Typically, they ask a question right when you put the food in your mouth, so it's there OWN fault. I don't recycle either. When they make that shit free and/or easier, I will partake.

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  15. guilty.
    peeling shellac? hellz to the yes.

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  16. Sweet mother this was hilarious. I can totally relate to #6. My brain literally shuts off at 2:30pm and gravitates towards comfortable pillows. lol

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  17. I am LOL which is why your blog is my fav. We had to leave the table without dinner if we talked and ate at the same time so I could never. The fork is down if I am talking and stays down until the chewing is over. I do lock my car doors and newsflash, my car is NOT electric so it takes longer then 7 seconds. I LOL about hiding from people in public, I shop at odd hours so I will not run into people I know as its a pet peeve of mine and always happens when you do not look your best. One time I was housecleaning my Brother's apartment when he was in the hospital and I had a dirty tee, jeans with cleaner on them, hair in a pony-ran into the evil sister in laws evil mean sister who spread a nasty evil rumor I was a lesbian and did not dress up like a lady any longer or wear make up. True story! People were calling me that heard it to tell me it was going around. Since then I never shop until after 8 pm or before 9 am. I HATE grocery shopping so much I only go 2x a month. Hate it with a passion. One thing you should know about me is I do not like mean people and with that said I do not put up with mean people in my life, your mean, your gone for good.

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  18. Have you ever played the boardgame "Dirty Minds"? You would LOVE it! And I'm sure they have it at Target! For example, there are gem questions like, "What's a 4 letter word for a woman that ends in -unt?" Get your mind out of the gutter girl..............................................................

    it's aunt!

    ps savor that victory of getting past the candy bars..I still cave in and grab a bag of skittles for myself a couple times a week!

    pps it's super european of you to go to the store everyday, just think of it that way!

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  19. Oh Erin, you crack me up!! I don't judge any of those things, they make you all you!!!!
    x

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  20. I love this!! I avoid people usually in the grocery store, I will avoid an aisle if I see someone I know and then have to go back when they are gone. I have also peeled shellac of my nails several times, the last time my nails were crap for months, finally they are getting back to normal, and I want to get them done again.
    Something about me..I throw away socks (mine and my husbands) the minute I see a hole in it. He'd wear them forever..

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  21. Yeah hi, I might be in love with you after this post. Saturday afternoon naps are my shit (if only I could somehow put that on a resume...) and I ALWAYS avoid people in public. Please don't talk to me while I'm busy getting shit done aka buying lots of things I don't actually need. I would never say anything against Keith Urban, but you can judge me for drinking (a few glasses of) wine on this fine Tuesday night when I should be doing school work.

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  22. So funny! I have never understood people whose first reaction is to run the other way when they recognize you in the store. I always just nod and smile. But that makes sense, so thanks for the enlightening me! Really funny LOVE it!

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  23. you seriously crack me up!!!! i love your blog oh so much. you post ideas are so real where everyone can relate. :)

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  24. I shop everyday, too! The people who work at my grocery all pretty much know my name. It's sad, really! And not cost effective. You are not alone!

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  25. This is great!! Love the salsa dancer emoticon one :P

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  26. I shop daily too. For us it is more efficient since we end up wasting less food if we just buy things as we need them.

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  27. Love it. I always fight the every day shopping... But I really need to just give in. It would make my life easier.

    I am all about big ideas and no follow through. Well it's not that I don't want to follow through... I'm just too lazy to do it. Meh. But I'll be 100% behind anyone else's ideas! If there is any way I can go out of my way to help, I will.

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  28. I eat while I talk as well.
    morrellfairytale.blogspot.com

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  29. I TOTALLY love this & can relate!
    I am the "queen" of ignoring my phone... whether it be my work or personal... leave me a message or send me a text & I'll get back to ya!
    HA!!!! :)
    Jules
    jenesaisquoijules.blogspot.com

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  30. I'm a shopper every day, too. Things have to be efficient or I get irritated so it makes no sense in my house either, but it's a nice excuse to get outside and away from the desk every day. <---That's my reason. I do have a thing against food talkers and chewing...ooh chewing. Ew.

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  31. Erin, if I see you at the store, I am going to say hi! All you have to do is say hi and I will then ignore you and you can ignore me. I saw Chels the other day, said hi, told her her daughter looked like her and that was it. Nice and quick :)
    Heather (Grubert)

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  32. Ok, you can be the salsa dancer emoji as long as I can be the blonde dancer girls. They're my actual favorite and I send them for good times, bad times, confused times... you name it. Those girls are my go-to!

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  33. That first one? OH MY GOD I do this ALL the time. Hate seeing people I know when I'm not expecting to- I become the most awkward person in the world. And at uni, I used to go to the shops every day for food- so much easier than planning in advance!! xx

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  34. Haha! I love this! I do the same thing when I see people. And when I'm talking and eating. Food is too good to stop eating to talk without food in my mouth.

    As I was reading this, I was thinking of my own list. I think this should be a one time link-up!

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  35. Love these....and 1, especially in Target...ALL DAY LONG! Totally feel number 5 too...it gets me in trouble.

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  36. I ignore people I know like it's my god damn day job. Yet I will still like and favorite their crap on social media. It's real awkward when you like someone's Instagram and then run into them an hour later and you don't want to say hi but they go heyyyyy saw you liked my picture what's up. Gahhhh!

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  37. As for no. 2, doesn't it seem like more often then not someone asks you a question right as you put food in your mouth. Drives me bonkers ha ha!
    Glad that I'm not the only one with a dirty mind! My boyfriend is always telling me I am inappropriate, whoops!

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  38. I don't see it as being inefficient. I see it as being European on the inside. Europeans shop for their food daily. I love it.

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  39. I 100% hide from people I know in public. All. The. Time. I moved back to my hometown right after college and apparently so did everyone else I went to high school with. Who REALLY wants to see all their high school classmates every time they run to the store in no make-up for wine and Swedish Fish?

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  40. I literally laughed for ten minutes straight at the salsa dancing lady!! :D

    I also do the same thing with groceries sometimes, especially if it's a good deal day and if it's shopping for fresh fruit/veggies.

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  41. I cannot stand Keith Urban. We would be friends.

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  42. I ripped off my entire shellac manicure while in court last week (I'm a lawyer, not a felon). When it was all over and I stood up, there was a nice little bubble bath colored pile of shellac on the courtroom floor. oops.

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  43. I just discovered your blog and you're such a great writer! This post was so fun to read. Especially 'cause I can relate to 1, 2, 6, and 8....ok and 5 too. Definitely relate to 5. Anyways, I find your writing entertaining and funny so keep up the good work :)

    http://findingmyinspiration.blogspot.com/

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  44. I stop at the grocery store every day too. For someone like myself it doesn't make sense but my husband and I have the "what do you want for dinner tonight?" text convo every day, then I stop by the store before pre school pick up. So not efficient. So not money saving! (sometimes we get ambitious and plan our meals out for the week, but that only lasts about a week!)

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  45. I just came across your blog from thelaurenelizabeth, but after this post, i will definitely start stopping by!!! Cracked me up!!! Thanks! :)

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  46. #8 totally cracked me up! Love the humor. :D

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)