4.30.2013

I Am A Woman. This Post Is Logical.

this picture is not related to this post in any way, shape, or form but is being used strictly for entertainment purposes

I’m just going to sit here and rehash the last hour of my life so that all of you other women can read and agree that everything I am about to say is very important and is a VERY BIG DEAL danggit.

Let’s begin here. I have this problem. It’s called French fries. I am borderline obsessed with them. More particularly, McDonalds French fries. The only reason it’s somewhat of a problem is because I have to keep it a secret from my husband every time I order them. Except I can never keep it a secret because they are French fries  and people, they are worth celebrating. So I celebrate by sending two hundred French fry emoticons to my husband along with calling him to announce “OH MY GOSH I LOVE MCDONALDS FRENCH FRIES!!!!!” I like to keep things drama free as much as possible.  

So today I did it. I made the executive decision that either the period that is about to start or the baby that is brewing (what? It has to be one of the two and they are both very logical reasons thank you very much) was making me drive there to get my fries. Obviously first I changed into workout clothes because that’s what you do when you are about to drive to the McDonalds drive thru. It fools everybody into thinking that this is a very rare occasion because hello, you are in workout clothes. People in workout clothes don’t frequent the golden arch. After I had my sports bra, tank, yoga pants, and tennis shoes on, I was off.

But then the first dilemma happened. You have to sit there and decide “do I want to be that girl who just changed into workout clothes to drive to McDonalds to order ONLY a medium fry (potentially large) OR should I just make it a meal to make it look a little less like I wasn't here just for fries?” So I did what seemed logical and backed up my “hey I’m in workout clothes here” persona I had going for me, I made it a meal. Grilled chicken sandwich at that. The only dilemma here is that all meat products from McDonald’s actually make me gag so I really bought it just to throw it away. I’m sorry. This is a terrible greedy thing to do but I had to. It’s either eat the meat and die or appear that I didn't drive there strictly for fries. 
Dying was not an option at this point.  

Second dilemma now happens. And this one is HUGE. I forgot to order freakin’ honey to go with my fries. Who does that? Me, that’s who. So then it really made this whole French fry experience pretty anticlimactic because I had no honey to dip them in. At this point I was furious and considered going on a tweeting rampage but remembered I have to remain a person of dignity even in the hardest of times so I stopped myself and wrote a blog post instead.

Long story short, I came back to work—changed out of my workout clothes, threw my sandwich away (okay listen--I had a few bites of it but only because it had bacon AND ranch on it), and held back the tears as I forced the fries into my mouth sans honey.

All this to say, I now HAVE to go back tomorrow to fix what went awry today.

And that completes an entire post written about French fries.

Love you husband.

***********************************************************************
Today's featured sponsor is Meagan from Meagan and Garrett
The cuteness that resides in that photo above slays me. Here too. I'm just going to jump into the beauty of these two--Meagan and Garrett's story goes like this: Met. Fell In Love. Got Married. Bought A House. Had a Baby. Adopted a Baby. And praised Jesus through it all. And that my friends sums these two up. But wait. You HAVE to watch the videos on their first son and then the adoption video of their second. Of course I'm crying right now. The beauty in their spirits (and birthday parties) shines all over her blog. 
Meagan writes about the most fascinating thing in her world--her life. And she does so beautifully. Just looking at her pictures fills me up, I'm not even kidding. Meagan just exudes those feel good vibes and let's be real-you can never have enough of those. Make sure to check out her home renovations and world travels while you are there!
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47 comments:

  1. You are a woman after my own heart with the McDonald's fries!!! I prefer mine naked, though. I know, I know...they are perfection and I'm pretty sure heaven includes an endless abundance of them!

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  2. oh lady....nodding my head yes all the way! hahaha! off to check out Meagan!!!

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  3. I love this! I do the same thing with drive-through restaurants! Do I get the small thing I want, or since I'm already there, make a meal of it?
    morrellfairytale.blogspot.com

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  4. Fries are the most magical of foods, McDonald's fries being like, the most magical, of course. Where you need honey (I don't judge), I need hot sauce, especially if we're talking Jack in the Box curly fries.

    I may have stopped and ordered fries and a shake for dinner recently. When my husband (who works 24 hours shifts) asked me what I had for dinner, I simply replied with "a shake", since somehow just the shake seemed less shameful than a shake AND fries. #fryproblems

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  5. HAHAHAHA... that's pretty much all I can muster out right now after reading this post.

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  6. You are so funny. My grandma loves french fries so much that when we were out somewhere as kids and playing in the play thing she ate all my cousins fries and had to buy him a new one when he came back in.

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  7. Where was the first french fry born? In grease....I don't blame you. Fries are incredible. I love them too. I hope someday to travel the entire U.S. to find the best fries out there(aside from McD's, theirs is always yummy) My husband and I had fries with our dinner this evening. I am off to visit Meagan now :)

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  8. Firstly, this was hilarious. Secondly, how in the heck do you stay so thin eating McDonald's French fries and not drinking water? You must be yoooouuunnnggg. I remember them days. Enjoy it while ya can. (I'm only 31. Haha)

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  9. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who is in love with McDonald's french fries. No other french fry can compete!

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  10. McDonald's french fries are like no other. I have no remorse in ordering just that. I like 'em naked, though. If you like the whole sweet and salty thing, you should try honey dipped pizza!

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  11. Oh my gosh, I dip my fries in honey, too! My grandma taught me that. People think I'm crazy!!

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  12. I was with you up until the honey part. I just can't. Granted, this is coming from the person who will happily order fries and a frosty from Wendy's and proceed to dip the fries in the frosty but I just can't get behind you on the honey thing. To each their own ;)

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    1. My fiancé is all about the dipping of the fries in the Frosty. I've never known anyone else like that! Good to know he's not just crazy! Haha!

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    2. haha! myself and at least 70% of my relatives and close friends eat fries dipped in frosty's. he's totes normal :)

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  13. ketchup is where it's at! i love mcd's fries too bt also cannot just get an order of fries...so i always throw in a mcflurry.

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  14. There is nothing wrong with ordering fries only! I've been known to do it as I don't eat meat (even if I did, it wouldn't be from them!). So....next time you have my permission to be cool and order only fries! ;)

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  15. I feel like you live in my mind... but its totally ok to order just fries. I've done it!

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  16. Your type of crazy is wonderful. I understand- their French fries ain't ish to me if I don't have their sweet and sour to dip them in. Ahhhh! You're not helping with my no-processed foods week!!

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  17. NO but seriously this is my life. Except for it's at 3am when I am cartwheeling drunk around those golden arches. Thank you thank you 24 hour openness. And if I forget the honey mustard all hell breaks loose and I truck my ass straight back there. Sometime I will occasionally get a four piece nug to go with them. If I'm feeling really good about myself. BUT last time I got ranch instead of honey and oh my I think it was a game changer.

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  18. Um. Yes this is logical.

    Of course when I decided that even though I gave up meat for Lent and was craving Pepperoni Bacon pizza it was okay to have because G-d gave me PMS and dammit, he'd just have to understand!

    Also, it's been awhile since I've had honey on my McDonalds fries, but I dig it. Or I'll swing into Wendy's and get a Frosty.

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  19. McDonald's french fries in honey?! I only dipped my chicken nuggets in honey and now I'm feeling like I missed out on what is probably the best combination ever. Although... Wendy's french fries and a frosty would be hard to beat!

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  20. Honey on fries? I've never had that (you will prob find that to be a travesty) - but McDonald's fries and their ranch is so addictive. It's my crack!
    - Heather

    www.sarcasmandstilettos.com

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  21. Mcdonald fries are ok and you'd think after seeing what's in chicken mcnuggets that everyone would quit eating their period or buying food for their kids from there esp if it leads to obesity. But who cares what folks at McDonalds think. If you want just fries order just fries.

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  22. haha what an amazing story!
    I love mc d's french fries too but this is definitely a pleasure that I don't have often enough!

    http://cbijicollection.blogspot.ca/

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  23. funniest post ever! love it. I love fries tooooo and their soft-serve that is one molecule away from being plastic. no shame in my game. there have been many times I've legit had cheese fries for dinner. a little dairy, a little veggie (okay, starch, fine.) and I call that a pretty well rounded meal. amiriiiight??

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  24. Brace yourself..I have never had McD's french fries and honey! I LOVE their french fries and so with you on pretty much anything meat/"fish" related there. Ha....Maybe just maybe I *need* to swing through the drive thru tomorrow.

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  25. ewwww French fry's are the worse. You know that the oil they fry those things in takes years off the life of your arteries right!! No No NO you must try making them at home, baked with olive oil and salt, much healthier. And you husband will love them baked. We bake yams as well as potatoes often, no fat and really yummy

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  26. I love McD french fries. With salt-no honey. I have them less than once a year. I love your rational and all that. Made me snort with laughter at 7:30 in the morning. Pretty good.=)

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  27. See i am the same way with the golden fries except mine must have MCD's bbq sauce to dip. Otherwise I will not even eat them. It is that intense my love for their bbq. Dammnit now I want fries.

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  28. You are so funny. At least you don't crave a burger every single day with the fries. That would be my problem. Ughhhhh. I've got to get my cholesterol checked.

    Amy

    Fashion and Beauty Finds

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  29. Thanks for the intro to the new blog. Also, I enjoy eating fast food most when I am in my workout clothes- for the same reason! Yay to fooling everyone and no one at the same time. ;)

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  30. honey on french fires isn't just a preference, it's a way of life. you need to right that wrong!

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  31. Oh my gosh, I about died reading this post! You crack me up!!!

    Next time, you can drive up and lament to the cashier about how your HUSBAND is so addicted to fries... and you've been trying to get him to the gym, bless his heart. But look at what a dutiful wife you are bringing him fries on his lunch break!!!!!!!!!

    bahahahahaha.

    P.S. Thank you for the sweet shout out. You sure know how to make a girl feel special! :)

    Meagan

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  32. My husband would say "first world problems" and possibly roll his eyes; however, I completely feel your pain and sympathize with you on a very deep level. Damnit! Sometimes a girl just needs those McD fries!! ;) Or, in my case, that cookie dough blizzard. *hanging my head in shame*

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  33. I was not sure it was possible that my twin was out there - but lady friend you are it.
    I am pretty sure I have done all of the above to get my McDonalds french fries. I lie to my husband about it (like he is judging me) and make believe that the cashier thinks I am just the girl who does this occasionally...
    I do give you mad props for the workout attire - nice spin.
    You are 100% normal in this - I just now know I am not alone.

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  34. I love French Fries.. And girl, can you please write a book? Because it would be hilarious and it would really just make my life ;)

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  35. i UUUUUSSSSEDDD to think bk had the best fries in the world. now they suck. theyre fat and too potatoey. mcdonalds fries for the win. so good!

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  36. I'm keeping a list of foods to eat in unbelievable quantities post wedding.. these are number one.

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  37. amen, sister. just... yes.

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  38. I love their sweet tea...but then if I go for sweet tea why wouldn't I order fries to wash it down with? Oh, wait, reverse that. :) See? not just you.

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  39. I can't say T.W.I.N.S. fast enough!!!!!
    I have just done this, about an hour ago - in my gym clothes, after gym, drove to McDonalds and ordered fries, for lunch!! And then came home to read your post... hahahaha!!
    Only girls can do this...
    x

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  40. You forgot one very dramatic detail to this story and I know it's because you like to keep things drama-free... but can we talk, just for a moment, about how depressing it is to get a batch of fries that has clearly been sitting under the heat lamp for 30 minutes?! They're limp, saltless, room temperature, and basically just everything disappointment is made of. Those are the days I just know someone is out to get me.

    End scene.

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  41. you're killing me! this is so so so funny!
    kw ladies in navy

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  42. I have an In n' Out around the corner from my house and.....I can't even TELL you how many times I've lived this exact scenario. Except I'll actually eat a burger from In n' Out (protein style for this gluten free girl)....I just love their fries. So so much. Excited to meet you at Elevate next week!

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  43. McDonalds french fries are the real deal, for realz. I usually like them without anything but my ears perked up with honey. What? I need to try that stat...

    By the way, have you seen George Lopez's skit on french fries? Watch and laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nMa5c_uF-M

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)