Everyday we are asked questions--most of which are easy to answer and don't require much thought. How are you? Good. What'd you eat for lunch? Bacon cheeseburger. Should we go to Target or not go to Target? Go to Target. One bowl of mac and cheese or two? Three.
But what happens when you get asked a question that makes you stop in your tracks and actually makes you do something that your brain really isn't really used to doing...thinking? It seems as though these types of questions have been popping up in my life recently. Ones either I've asked others, people have asked me, or my mind has asked itself. And every single time I freeze because you know, I don't really know. I'm used to thinking about if I should wear earrings instead of a necklace--not if I truly want kids or not in "two years" like I always say. So today, I'm preparing myself. I'm settin' the record straight so that the next time somebody asks me something a little deeper, I will actually have an answer. I mean sure, these answers could be all be completely different tomorrow, but right in this moment..this is how I am answering.
Allow me to have a brief interview with myself. You're welcome to read along. Heck, maybe you'll ask yourself the same questions as you read and think about how you would answer them. We can have one giant "get to know yourself better" sesh if you will.
1. If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would it be?
To begin with, there are several things I would do differently. I know you aren't "supposed" to have any regrets but I think that statement is rather selfish. I've hurt people. I should regret that. But I don't want to think about this question as a "regret" question. I want to think of it as "what decision do I wish I would've chosen differently that could have made this life a little fuller than it is now". And to that I say, I would have not rushed my life through high school. I started dating Shawn when I was 15 and a freshman. He was two years older--meaning for the last two years of my high school stint, I was focused only on getting out. I started selling real estate at the beginning of my senior year. I graduated at semester. I didn't attend my senior prom. There was a lot of life that I didn't live. Shoot. I didn't even have an alcoholic drink in those four years (which is the responsible thing to do all you minors reading). I didn't take advantage of some of the best years of my life. And that..that makes me a little sad.
okay I do regret my choice of high school make-up
2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Good question Erin. I have a feeling I might sit here for 20 minutes formulating an answer. Okay let's try this. In five years I see myself happy. I don't know if I will live in a different house, I don't know if I will have kids, I don't know if I will be in the same job, I don't know if I will have the same friends, but I do know one thing. I want to be happy.
3. Do you honestly want kids?
Some days I believe I do. Some days I believe I don't. I tell everybody that I want kids in two years--I don't. I love kids, I just don't have a desire for them. It may be for selfish reasons like "I absolutely love my life as is with no little people to answer to" and I don't find a problem in that. I would rather know what I want than do something because I think I am supposed to. If it happens it happens, but I am certainly not wishing it does anytime soon.
4. What has been the best moment of your life so far?
I have these "best moments" on a weekly basis. I swear nothing is better than the moment I am in right now on a regular basis. I am a huge advocate of creating moments that I will remember forever. Except then I forget them the next day (which I why I feel the need to repeatedly make these moments). I could say the cliche answer of "my wedding day" but I don't believe that was the best. Sure it was a great moment, but the absolute best? I'll tell you one of the best moments. When I learned in the midst of a tough situation that this God who I always "believed" in since I was a little girl, is in fact real. I've never doubted His existence and love for me since. I cry thinking about that moment and the amount of beauty wrapped up in it. I could go into detail but for now I'll savor it for myself. It was good.
5. What is your life theme song?
I was just asked this at work and holy cow, it took me some time and a lot of googling of lyrics to determine the answer. Even now I am choosing to answer this differently than I did at work. For now I'm going with the good ole classic "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack. Whether life is good or bad, I still want to dance danggit. Nor do I ever want to ever lose my sense of wonder. And I always (always) want to feel small when I stand beside the ocean.
6. What is one thing you have yet to accomplish that you want to do before you die?
I want to learn how to love unconditionally. Well.
7. If you could choose one thing to be known for, what would it be?
Making other people smile while smiling myself.
8. If you could do anything you wanted right in this very moment (no consequences, no fear, etc), what would it be?
I would gather up every single person that I have a strong bond with and hop on a plane to somewhere amazingly beautiful and sip cocktails around a fire pit with music playing in the background (preferably the cupid shuffle) and just sit there and know "this..this is what life is about".
9. What has been the most challenging moment in your life?
Death. I hate it. Shawn's dad, our best friend in high school, my grandma, and a child that I never met. Every one of those situations has been challenging in different ways but yet they all share a common denominator that bothers me to no end--I had no control over offering a different solution.
10. Summarize yourself in one word.
And that completes my personal interview. Phew. That was more challenging (and time consuming) than I thought it would be. Hey I know! If you want to ask yourself the same questions and answer them on your blog, play along. Just link up below and that's that.
It’s good every once in a while to ask yourself the hard questions, yes?
"Finding Yourself 102" will resume tomorrow. Same time, same place.
I'm ready for a drink.