3.26.2013

Warning: This Post Contains The Word Cock

The story goes like this..

Once upon a time I was at the elementary school where I "mentor" a few kids every week. This past week as I was learning about how mean one of the boy's step-moms is and how the other kid ate pizza for breakfast, they exclaimed those four words that will make one feel as guilty as Tiger Woods on Thanksgiving Day. "YOU FORGOT OUR BIRTHDAYS!" Doomed. In a panic, I did what any normal horrible mentor would do in hopes to reclaim their awesome status. I asked them to write down what they both wanted with plans of bringing an item or two back for them the next go around. So write they did. After much thought...they handed me their lists.

Without further ado, I present to you what one of the boys would like for his birthday... 


At first I thought okay easy. 10 packs gum? I can handle that. Taxes? Not sure on this as I've yet to turn mine in, but let's see what else I can come through on. Jusy stuf took me a minute. Oh. Juicy stuff. As in candy? And that's when I came to the next item on the list.

Cock. 

My eyes squinted. My forehead wrinkled. And my mouth muttered "cock!??!" 
Why did this boy say he wanted cock?!? And then it hit me. I asked them to write down their favorite drink.
Coke. The kid wants coke. Please tell me he wants coke.

I guess we'll find out next week when I bring one of both back and let him decide.... 

Just kidding guys. I wouldn't take a coke into a school. There's gotta be some sugar law on that. 

You want jusy stuf and cock? You got it kid.

Now just don't say I never gave you anything....
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46 comments:

  1. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this post, Erin. Priceless! Epic! Awesome! You get that super-cool kid some jusy stuf and cock. Oh my gosh, this makes me miss my 8th grade babies so much. I missed yesterday and today because of shingles but I'm going back tomorrow. Only one problem: if one of mine say cock, I'm in trouble! Big hugs friend. LOL <--- I'm still laughing!!!!

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  2. Too funny!

    xo
    Caroline

    lovecarolineblog.blogspot.com

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  3. Hahaha, aren't they funny at that age? I was subbing for first grade a few weeks ago during a spelling test, the word was "Shifting," the kid wrote "Shitting." Of course I did what every normal person would do and took a picture and emailed it to all my friends with the subject line, "look what we're doing in class today." So mature.

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  4. At least he didn't write juicy cock. Did I just say that? ;)

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  5. hahahahahahah!!!! HILARIOUS!

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  6. This is the best blog title I think I've ever seen! hahaha love it!

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  7. Nice! I love posts like these - oh, the things kids write!

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  8. Oh my god I'm crying I'm laughing so hard.

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  9. hahaha! Love stories like this.

    xoxo
    Mags
    http://magsmind22.blogspot.com/

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  10. Hahahahaha!!!! I think sowr gumy werms was a pretty good request too ;)

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  11. Bahaha, too funny. The Coke/cock issue totally reminded me of this video of a Korean lady teaching Americans how to ask for a Coke in Korean.... annnddd you're welcome. http://youtu.be/9EaeZb6UYVk

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  12. Hahahahaha! This totally makes me wish I worked with kids. My coworkers never say awesome stuff like this. Well, and if they did I'm fairly certain they'd be fired. The corporate world really kills the fun of life. ;-)

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  13. hahaha omg LOVE this so much. Kids should write blogs. For sure. And they should also get all of the taxes.

    xo

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  14. HAHAHA! So glad this is the first thing I read this morning!

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  15. bahaha that's hysterical! I teach kindergarten so I know all about the whole writing what you hear & having it not turn out right lol! I've cried tears over some of the stuff my kids have thought up!

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  16. Haha I love this! I'm a substitute teacher and love reading what elementary students write when they don't know how to spell something... you get things like cock! lol.

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  17. I LOVE this. I am a kindergarten teacher and reading their writing is seriously like another language. I have so many accidental dirty words thrown in a story about going to the park, it's so funny/ That kid definitely wants coke or cookies don't worry!
    xo Dina

    Sweetest Somethings

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  18. out of the mouth (pen) of babes! <3
    My 1st grade son's writing sometimes is like trying to translate hieroglyphs - I'm just hoping that means he'll grow up to be a doctor one day.

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  19. HAHA this is awesome. Kids are the funniest! Love the list. Who wouldn't want taxes for their birthday?!? Mine falls on the 10th of April and I want mine DONE by then. Let's see if he still wants taxes when he's older!

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  20. Omg I'm dying, that is hilarious!

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  21. Oh I love kids... their spelling mistakes are the best thing EVER! x

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  22. Hahaha! Kids are the best :) dumb little things....just kidding!!

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  23. Oh goodness...the fact that "jucy stuf" and "cock" we're even on the same list is a bit disturbing! I'm sittin here visiting with my mom hysterically laughing at this post. Of course she had to ask what was so funny...I just said "a blog" and left it at that!! Haha!!
    xo,
    Eva

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  24. this cannot be a real story?! HAHA! just awesome.

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  25. I especially love how gummy worms is spelled ! too cute ! you know what they say...kids say the darndest things !!!

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  26. This almost made me miss teaching for a second... I got gems like this all the time (well maybe not this good) but still... awesome.

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  27. Welcome to the life of a teacher...love it. My question is, did you get him one...a coke of course!

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  28. HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This post is kind of amazing. Grade schoolers can really tickle you, can't they! What was the outcome??

    <3,
    Amber
    classyeverafter.com

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  29. OMG!!!! hilarious!! That is awesome and as a teacher (7th grade mind you) I definitely have to take a second look at their spelling sometimes :)

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  30. hahahahaha... I love coming here!!!! You are such an awesome writer and this was halarious, mind you I did almost choke on coffee when I seen the titlel of your post in Bloglovin.. hehe!

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  31. Out of the mouth of babes. Serious kids are just too funny!!

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  32. HAHAHAH this post is hilarious! Oh kids...

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  33. I hope you figured out what it was. Haha

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)