When Your Husband Won't Tell You You're Beautiful (And Other Marriage Talk)

It’s funny—I have been blogging for over two years now and I have yet to actually write a post on marriage. I’d like to believe there are a few reasons why I’ve steered clear of this topic of conversation. First of all, I have failed, I do fail, and I will continue to fail in my marriage. When you are well aware of this fact it makes it hard to want to discuss it, am I right? We are quick to show off an outfit that we feel confident in..but to dive into a topic that you feel FAR from successful in? Doesn’t make it nearly as much fun. Secondly..I am very careful about sharing MY story on this blog and not anybody else’s. Marriage is made up of two people—what I say about marriage (and our marriage particularly) affects both of us. Some opinions I have on marriage, he may not. I want to be very careful that I write from a place that allows me to share my honest, real thoughts on marriage, but that is done so in a loving respectful way. What I am about to say are my thoughts on marriage in general and what I have learned from being married over the past 7 years (yes, I got married before I was old enough to drink..). I want to be able to discuss what makes marriage hard, what makes it great, and what makes it grow. So today—I’m going to share with you 5 honest thoughts on marriage. Hint: They may surprise you.

Oh and hey before I begin I should state that I am SO fortunate to have the husband that I do. 
He is my better half, my best friend, and really one heck of an admirable man. 

1. I love more than I am in love. I absolutely love my husband. Do I always feel “in love” with my husband? No. This is not what my 15 year old “in love, can’t get enough, if you leave for more than 10 minutes I will fill up with tears” self thought it would be like. We all know what the beginning of a crush feels like—your world is butterflies, floating hearts, and little pots of gold hidden around every corner. And then life happens. You become comfortable with each other, flirting is a thing of the past, and those little butterflies fly away. Far far away. Do I experience those moments of that all-consuming, passion filled, feelings anymore? Occasionally. Perhaps rarely. But do I wake up every day knowing that I would take a bullet for the man laying next to me? Yes.  
2. Not being aware of (and accepting) the fact that you and your partner have different love languages can be a very dangerous thing. We all have a love language whether you are aware of it or not. We feel love differently and we express love differently. So what happens when the way you feel love is not how your partner shows love? Well, unless you become aware of this fact early on and learn to accept it..it can be grounds for very dangerous territory. Hear me out. I feel love by words and physical touch. I want to hear that I am beautiful. I want to hold hands in public. I want a text message in the middle of the day just to be told he is thinking about me. None of the above are natural ways that Shawn would choose to show love. Instead of holding hands, he makes sure my car is running well. Instead of telling me I’m beautiful, he makes a glorious little Excel document for me to use for keeping track of my sponsors, and instead of texting sweet little nothings, he works really hard to provide for our family. Can you see where this could get dangerous? I want to hear love—he wants to serve love. It’s easy to start taking note of others who have the same love language as you. “He is so good at telling his wife how pretty she is…” “She always puts his clothes away..” “I wish you were more like him..” “I wish you were more like her..” and so on. I know that my husband may not say the words “you are beautiful” but I do know that when he sweeps out the garage he is pretty much telling me the same thing. Become aware of each other’s love languages and accept that they may be different. On that same note, work hard at meeting each other’s needs. I have learned to find great joy in mowing the yard because he appreciates it. He has learned that sometimes he is going to have to allow me to cuddle up on the couch right next to him, whether he likes it or not. We all have needs—take responsibility for this and step out of your comfort zone for your significant other. Without doing so, a lot of bitter, jealousy, and grudges can build up.   

3. I don’t believe that there is one soul mate for each person. Awhile back a friend of mine was saying that no matter how much she loves her husband, she believes she could be very happy being married to several different men (not all at once for clarification purposes). Hearing this initially, it took me by surprise and I didn’t know if I totally agreed. It can sound disrespectful and make you wonder “If you truly love your husband how do you believe you could be happily married to somebody else!?” But after a little thought, I agree with her. The main reason this makes sense to me is this—our primary source of happiness can’t be ultimately fulfilled by another human being. If it is, we will always be let down. As a Christian, my main source of love and fulfillment comes from Christ. Aside from that, if you honestly love yourself, know how to love others well, and can receive love well…you could be happily married to all sorts of people. This does not mean that I want to be, but I do think that there are several people you could “do life” with and do it well.

4. Somewhat along those same lines—just because you are married, temptation does not stop. God created beautiful people. I think it is a very na├»ve statement when I hear somebody who is in a relationship say that they don’t believe they could ever find somebody else to be attractive. Shawn and I somewhat differ on this. I point out beautiful women all of the time and say “DID YOU SEE HOW GORGEOUS SHE WAS?!!” and he always replies with a casual “eh’, not really..”. On that same note, I am also very quick to point out how extremely attractive Luke Bryan is while shaking his butt in a pair of tight jeans. I think (again my opinion) that you are placing yourself in a position of greater danger by not believing that you could be tempted. We are humans. Don’t you want to know that you are a vulnerable human being and by knowing so, you can prepare how not to give into that temptation rather than being completely blindsided by it? Just some thoughts there.

5. And last but not least, you chose to be together— now have fun danggit. With anything in life, if you aren’t having fun..it’s most likely going to suck. Life will throw you curve balls, some days you may want to kick each other in the shins, but I genuinely think that if you are making a conscious effort to enjoy each other’s company, you most likely will. Laugh together, try new things together, just keep your relationship interesting. The word “interesting” can be interpreted to your liking. You’re welcome. Focus on enjoying the journey..it’s one worth doing so with. 



This, That, And The Other

Here we are again--9 pm and a full cup of coffee in hand. 
I swear one of these days I'll learn my lesson that I don't enjoy staying up until 2 am but until then, cheers.
Do you ever have those times where you sit and stare at your screen and you think "I should probably write a sentence here.." and nothing comes to mind.

Yeah that. 

With that being said, I don't have any pressing topics of discussion (I'm saving my how to obtain world peace post for tomorrow) so I'm just going to throw out a few items that you should probably know about tonight. Capiche?

1. Thanks for your input from yesterday's post. You little outfiteers are so good to me. Outfiteer would be similar to a musketeer minus the muskrat part. So here's the deal. I kept one flippin' thing. One. One more and my husband would've thrown my head in the trash can. This would've been okay but we had leftover chicken in the trash and you all know what leftover chicken smells like right? The one item? The cardigan. 
Raven if you are reading, my deepest apologies. Just picture it without anything underneath. Now that's dressing for men... (read link above on Raven's name to get what in the world I am talking about). 

2. So last week Jenni and I participated in our first ever Blogging Q&A session and it was pretty dang fun if you ask me. Anytime you get a group of 10 like minded bloggers, you are bound to walk away feeling inspired. Topics of conversation? Balance, Blogging Insecurities, Growing your blog, Sponsorship, etc. 
We have our second one tonight (Thursday) and have one open spot if you'd like it--9 pm EST and $20. Email me at livinginyellow@gmail.com with subject Q&A and it's all yours. 
You can read some recap posts of that session here, here, and here.

3. Speaking of that...it's time to announce March's Q&A session collaboration. I am so excited about this one..
If you haven't met the mastermind behind Rags to Stitches, you must pay yourself a visit. Alissa is a WEALTH of information and I can't wait to drink up her wisdom. This session is not going to disappoint.
Again...if you want in we have 8 spots and it's $20 to participate. Email me at livinginyellow@gmail.com with the subject line Q&A and I will get you marked down. Strategizing with others who "get" this whole blogging thing is an investment worth making. 

4. I started whimpering tonight when I realized it had been weeks since last eating mac and cheese. 
Whimpering. Who does that? Apparently I do. No worries, I whipped up a dish and all whimpering subsided. That's really all with this subject. 

5. Oh hey this is fun. Let's have a blogger crush link-up party next Thursday. Basically you write a mushy gushy post sharing your favorite blogger/bloggers and why you love them so. This could be like the best day in blogging history ever. I can feel all of the hearts that will be floating around already and it's glorious. 
Here's a really lame button you can use if your heart desires. Either way just show up on Thursday ready to confess your love for another person you've never met. It's normal, don't worry about it. 

6. I think that's all I got for now. Eight minutes. That's how long I worked on this post. It's a record people, I'm off to go celebrate by folding laundry. 
Today's featured superstar is Shanna from Because Shanna Said So
If you have visited many blogs at all, I am sure you have landed yourself on Shanna. Well not on her per say, but her blog. Shanna is a momma to two (I don't understand..note to self: please look as hot as she does when becoming a mom), a lover of Christ who occasionally spits out a cuss word or two, and a fashionista at heart. Seriously if you are needing help on how to dress--this is your girl. No but seriously, Shanna has her own styling business. How amazefest is that? 
Shanna also hosts a fun link-up every Wednesday called Random Wednesday. If you love Random as much as I do, you will for sure want to participate in this bad boy. Shanna is a genuinely great girl with an even better heart. She will keep you laughing, thinking, and wishing you had her closet. Enjoy :)



My First "Fix" Revealed

Well being that I am professional Stich Fixer now, I feel like I should do a professional Stitch Fix post. I know a lot of you are thinking "what in the world is this Stitch Fix you keep talking about?!" and to you I say "read more blogs..". Like all great and necessary things, I found out about Stitch Fix from several of my favorite bloggers. All of a sudden they were dressing themselves all cute like and kept making mention about how they didn't have to do any of the shopping themselves. As in they had a personal stylist sending them these little articles of adorableness. I was sold at personal stylist. Sometimes fashion and I don't get along all that well. Not that my 7th grade basketball tee shirt isn't trendy, I just don't always know what to pair it with per say. After much debate, I decided to sign up for my first "fix" and see what all the fuss is about. It should be noted that this is not an advertised post and as much as I would've liked to receive these articles of clothing for free, I did not. Stitch Fix if you are reading--I am not opposed to that idea. Just kidding.
My husband loves when I pay full price for items...

So real briefly here's the 411 on how this process works.
You sign up here. You go through this massive in-depth style profile which is similar to taking the SATs but a lot more fun. They will assign a personal stylist to you who will then work hard to figure out they think you will love. Stitch Fix will notify you when your first "fix" is on it's way. Each fix is comprised of 5 items..it can be anything from pants, tops, dresses, skirts, scarves, jewelry, etc. The best part in all of this is that you have absolutely no idea what you are going to receive in your box. If you are into the idea of having Christmas monthly instead of yearly, this is your gig. You receive your fix and have 3 business days to decide what you are keeping or sending it back. And if you are like me--to help in your decision making process, you take photos in each of the outfits and then have your blog readers tell you what they like the best. So that's what we are doing today. Hip Hip.

Let's begin...

The first little diddy was this Tulle open back sweater. A to the dorbs. A little bit small but not small enough to have my mind made up completely. I kinda have this thing for open backs. Primarily so I can walk around singing "I'm bringin' sexy baaaaack.." I paired this sucker with some jeans and boots. Simple and easy.
Just like I like it.
arrow bracelet from Metal Marvels
 earrings from Castellammare Designs

The second item up is this Everly polka dot top. Apparently my stylist caught wind that I also have this thing for polka dots. I can't help it they are cute, they just are. You know what's even cuter than polka dots though? Red pants WITH polka dots. 
 pants from Old Navy

Third we have this Awake Couture chevron maxi skirt. Frick. I also love all things maxi. Minus pads.
I wanted to make this piece functional for work so I paired it with a blazer and some bright colors to distract my mind from winter. It worked for those 3 glorious minutes.
 earrings from Christine Marie Studio//necklace from KO Jewelry

Fourth was a turquoise/gold chain enamel bracelet. Turqoise makes me smile. Trouble once again for my wallet.
LOVE rings from Style Lately

And last but certainly not least was this C.Luce striped cardigan. If you know me at all, you know that above all else, my heart belongs to stripes. I will never stop buying stripes. Or strippers. Ha.
I put a green shirt underneath (because that's what their suggestion told me to do) and then plopped on some nude pumps and called it a day.

So there we have it. My first "fix" revealed.
Now is where the fun comes in...tell me in the comments below which pieces you think I should keep. Option 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5. Or maybe all of em'. Perhaps you don't like any of them.
Just tell me your favorites.

This will provide great ammunition with my husband and for that, I thank you.

If you want to get your fix on feel free to do so here...lifes too short to style yourself.
Or something like that?

Linking this post up with The Pleated Poppy


Today's fabulous little lady is Erin from Cali-Land Chic.
Erin is the mastermind behind all DIY projects. She is one of those who I look at her blog and I constantly am just asking myself "How?! I mean how?!" One of the coolest examples of this is when her and her husband took a wall that was made out of aluminum and covered it in wood pallets. You just have to look for yourself to see the awesomness I am talking about. When Erin isn't busy turning her staircases into fabulous displays of her Instagram pictures, she is a simple wife to one who loves to drink wine and exercise. I'm still working on the whole exercise thing. Erin also recently opened up her own shop which houses wood pallet signs like the one hanging below in our lake cottage.
I must say, it is my favorite piece in the house so far. Luckily for you she is giving you 20% off your order with the code YELLOW. I kinda love this one. Make sure to go say hello to Erin and make yourself a crafty little friend today.



A Day Late And A Dollar Short

I know, it's Tuesday and I am recapping my weekend. Sorry Monday. Major blogger faux pas. 
I hope you just read that as fox pass because that's how I'm saying it. 

It was a good weekend of sorts--the kind of weekend that you feel like you did stuff but yet you didn't do stuff. You know? It's like one of those "yeah I was productive!" "yeah I had fun!" "yeah I laid on the couch a lot!" "yeah I wish Monday would never show it's face again!" type of things. 

I failed to document anything that happened on Friday and Sunday so you can go ahead and make up all sorts of magical and wonderful fantasies about what took place in my life. I'm sure you will be dead on. Especially if you just thought of pizza and Pandora. I had both in excess. 

Thankfully I whipped out my trusty companion (camera) on Saturday and documented our festivities as they were pretty fun festivities to be documenting. We have these friends you see who are not just dreamers, but they are doers as well. I think I need to write a post on this now that I mention it..dreaming vs doing..it's fascinating stuff really. Back to my doing friends. Shoot. Now it sounds like I am talking "doing it". 
Is that still a relevant term? I feel so 1998 when I say that. Not that I was doing anything in 1998 of that nature but still. Somebody help a sister out. This post is getting weird... 

Back to Saturday and these friends of ours. Long story short, they have adopted 3 kids from Ethiopia. 
I wrote about them once here so you may remember. Precious little nuggets really. Well, only adopting three kids from Ethiopia wasn't enough for them. While over there, they saw the need in these people's lives...so what did they do? They started an organization, Awake and Alive, with a mission to educate and empower the children over in Africa. So how are they doing this? Why by building a school of course. They are pouring into the lives of kids who otherwise may never be poured into. It's a beautiful thing that makes you just kinda fall in love with hope, humanity, and all that is good in this world. I mean--those kids. SO FREAKING ADORABLE. With all that being said--they held an event Saturday night made for mingling, silent auctioning, and wine drinking. Thankfully I like all of the above. Here's a few way too many pictures from the evening. 
that cute short blonde girl (second from the right) would be Jolene, one of the founders of Awake & Alive
the studly man on the right (okay and the left) would be married to the founder I pointed out up above, also known as CEO

It was such a fun evening with fun friends, fun food, fun times of giving....
Basically it was fun. 
Be sure to check out Awake and Alive if kids are your thing....they need us, but more so...we need them. 

So there's that. 
Come back tomorrow for a chance to see my first ever Stitch Fix reveal...that means one thing. 
Outfit pictures. Cue my husband rejoicing now....

Today's featured sponsor is Jill from The Olive Heart.
Jill is a single {super} mom to her beautiful little son, who is a writer by day and a waitress by night. If you don't already admire this lady..allow me to share more. Jill is newer on the blog scene and does a beautiful job of sharing not only her heart (which she does a fabulous job of..proof here), but also has a passion for DIY's, thrift shopping, cooking, and so much more. Added proof of the cooking part pictured below. 

Jill radiates strength, joy, and ultimately, the ability to just be real. Like she said--there is no sugar coating over on her space. It is my hope that you all pay her a visit and leave her a special message today...she just makes my heart smile...let's make hers do the same.