1.22.2013

If I Was A Boy....

picture via second grade. 
my milkshake brought all the boys to the yard...

-I would take full advantage of trees, cornfields, and sides of the road whenever the time struck. 

-I would tell girls they are much prettier with make-up on (you know it’s true..)

-I would wrestle bears with my bare hands. That seems reasonable right?

-I would not pop collars, wear skinny jeans, or cut off tees.

-I would rock a Michael Jordan jersey daily.
or whatever jersey for that matter

-I would borrow a friends baby and take it grocery shopping (considering I was single and on the hunt..)

-I would eat like a maniac and then workout for a total of 5 days and be back to my ideal weight.

-I would shower my lady love with all things fried (chicken, green beans, fries, etc) and chocolate during that time of the month, every month. As soon as I delivered said goodies I would shack up in a local hotel for the remaining 5 days. Both parties would be happier.

-I would yell delights in the shower every morning such as “THANK YOU JESUS THAT I DON’T HAVE TO SHAVE MY LEGS OR MY ARMPITS!” and then probably spin in circles while splashing water all around.

-I would also yell delights like ‘THANK YOU JESUS THAT I DON’T HAVE ANY LEMONS THAT ARE EXPECTED TO SQUEEZE OUT CANTALOUPES” while I watch my significant other dry heave from the excruciating pain she is going though (birthing a child). 

-And last but not least, I would always secretly wish I was a woman.

What would you do? 
Link up with Gay and I and join in the fun.

(p to the s..I didn't make any fancy button for this link up #bloggerfail but please just note in your post that you are linking up to us. please and thank you. you saw what I said I would do to that bear didn't you?)

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30 comments:

  1. Hahaha, nice. Giving birth and not shaving are two things I clearly forgot. Love the pictures! =D

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  2. I definietly agree with the last one! If I was a guy, I'd really want to be a girl! :) xx

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  3. I'm sure your mom is a wonderful person - but why in God's name did she ever cut your hair like that?

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  4. LOL oh lordy would i be so happy that I wouldn't have to shave anymore!

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  5. Hahaha, these are amazing. I'm especially loving the idea of all things fried and shacking up in a hotel during that time of the month. Men need to take a hint!

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  6. hahahaha i love the shaving and splashing water around in complete joy.. that is probably the very first thing i would do.. right before i grew out a full fledged duck dynasty beard.

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  7. Funny! I had a similar haircut to your first picture when I was in first or second grade as well. My parents cut off my hair without my consent because I screamed bloody murder every time my mother came near me to brush my tangled hair! :)

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  8. Oh my goodness I'd do the exact same thing in the shower!! Soo funny!

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  9. What a fun linkup! Not only was it a fun post to put together, but I am really enjoying reading everyone's responses. I especially loved your fried foods during PMS week, and your last one about secretly wishing to be a woman :) Thanks for hosting!!

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  10. haha, i have always wondered what it's like to have a penis. come on, you girls have too (;

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    1. lol!!! i have, i hate sitting down on toilets. ughhh!

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  11. Haha my dad totally used me to get chicks when I was a toddler (obviously after he and mom divorced). He snared my step-mom pretty quickly, so I guess it worked!

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  12. Hahaha! Hilarious!!

    -Jennifer
    www.kermit-and-piggy.blogspot.com

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  13. This is wonderful. If I were a boy I would definitely want to be a girl minus the cramps and the primping (sometimes).

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  14. I love this link up! Can't wait to link up with my post tomorrow :D Guys have it so easy!

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  15. LOl I love the shaving part. But I would never want to be a boy, they are mean, usually stuipd and break girls hearts from an early age forward. They decide to make one terrible comment about you at school that everyone hears and it sticks, or they torture you just to get a reaction. Really they are terrible creatures plus they smell! I climbed trees anyway even though I was a girl, played better and ran faster then the boys. We girls are tougher, smarter, smell better, are pretty and we play nice. Much preferred

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  16. Such a fun post! Just visited everyone on the link up and realised there were so many things I didn't even think of...especially and how could I not...peeing while standing...that should be number one on the list! Thanks for the link up...it was fun!

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  17. Cute post. It's interesting what women wish for and what guys take for granted. Being a boy, I spend most of my time doing your last thing: wishing I was a girl!

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  18. no skinny jeans!!?? whaaa??? my man rocks some 5-something levis that i BEGGED him to try on, and now he loves them. me too. i mean, who DOESN'T like to see a guy's butt in his jeans!? lol

    ...but i second the bringing fried anything to the girl at the time of the month ;)

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  19. haha this is great, and i had that same haircut in second grade..... whyyyy whyyyy whyyyy!! :)

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  20. Seriously LOVED this idea, and participating!! :)
    You are freakin hilarious!

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  21. you crack me up every single time! ha! loved this, woman!

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  22. I would eat more carbs than I could fit in my apartment. Just because.
    Also, I would enjoy watching your male altar ego hand wrestle a bear. Don't worry, I'd be on the sidelines with a tranquilizer gun. That's the kind of friend I am.

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  23. ohhh eating, always yes to eating. love the old school pics thanks for the great link up!

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  24. Erin, thank you for hosting this link up! I know this is a funny post, but I love how much you care about your readers. You're such a strong, inspiring lady and you're by far my favorite read.
    Terra

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  25. Whoops I dunno how that happened.. #46 is your blog.. My bad!! No Clue how that happened!! Lol! But #47 is my blog! And I couldn't figure out how to erase it.. Sorry!!! This was fun though!!

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  26. -I would yell delights in the shower every morning such as “THANK YOU JESUS THAT I DON’T HAVE TO SHAVE MY LEGS OR MY ARMPITS!” and then probably spin in circles while splashing water all around.
    hahah! This one made me laugh so hard!

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  27. I see I'm not alone in that the shower visual made me lol 2 the xtreem.

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  28. Love the baby borrowing thing.. So perf hahaha!

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)