11.07.2012

Secrets Anonymous

Secrets.
We all have em’…we just don’t all share em’.
Until today.
dun dun dun….

A few months ago I was reading one of my absolute favorite blogs (that would be Steph over at A Beautiful Mess) and she had the bright idea of having her readers leave comments ANONYMOUSLY for the day. But not just any comments. Comments that you would ONLY leave if you knew nobody was going to know that it was coming out of your mouth (or in this case, fingers). I was smitten by that post. Or should I say comments. They were hilarious. And real. 
And I still go back occasionally to see if any more have been added since

So today, guess what we are doing here?
We are sharing our secrets anonymously.
It is the one day for the year that I will be pro-anon (just wait…this will be a stance in the next political debates..)
So you pass gas in public on a regular basis? Sweat out of your shirts every day? Stole lip gloss from a store? Voted for Scott Disick for President? Think your sister’s husband is a better fit for you?
Tell us. Nobody will know it was you. Promise.

And real quick—spread the word on this. The more comments, the more fun this is going to be.
I encourage you to check back regularly to read what all of you freak shows have to say ;)
And don’t worry…I will be dropping in a few comments (secrets) of my own periodically.
This is going to be good…real good. Don’t let me down now….spill all.

To share this via Twitter//Facebook//Blog etc feel free to use this:
“Come share your secrets today over at @livinginyellow and check out what others are saying!"

Let the games begin.
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837 comments:

  1. I smell my husbands feet every night. The worse the better. It's weird and I love it.

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  3. I leak (pee) a lot whenever I laugh, sneeze or get up fast. I am only 24 which is weird. I don't think its' incontinence. But I go through underwear so fast.

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  4. not only do i brush my teeth in the shower, but i also pee in there as well. not a morning person - getting it all done in one shot. plus, urine prevents athlete's foot, so its a win/win, haha!

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    Replies
    1. Not to mention conserving water! Totally guilty of this as well.

      Delete
  5. I make up my own lyrics to pretty much every song...even when I find out what the real lyrics are, I insist on continuing to sing what I think the song's saying. Know the song, "Red wine?" I used to sing "rain, rain wine!" Figured you'd appreciate that one :)

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  6. I won't swallow after giving my husband a BJ. I can't get over the smell and taste!! But I love giving him a BJ, weird I know!

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  7. i won't swallow after giving my boyfriend a bj, either, unless i'm wasted or i can chase it with dr. pepper. yuck.

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  8. bahahah ohhh man.

    i sucked my thumb until freshman year of high school and slept with a baby blanket until then too.

    i really like to pick my nose. i just don't do it in public and yes, I wash my hands afterwards(bathroom stall all the way baby.)

    i love thinking how i would makeover people i see in public... which is kind of judgmental of me, but I still do it. (like she needs a diff hair color, she needs to fill in her eyebrows... etc)

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  9. my boyfriend and i want to have a threesome or orgy, but everyone we know are prudes and won't participate. i won't find someone online because it freaks me out and i fear they will be a murderer or have weird diseases.

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  10. I had a sex dream two nights ago. My "co-star"? My ex-fiance. Who in dreamland managed to make the whole experience last all of 30 seconds. First sex dream in months and I got that.

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  11. I'm still really nervous around teenagers. I'm 23 but I still have this fear that they will realize I'm not cool and make fun of me. Seriously, when they walk into the store I work out I get so nervous that they will make fun of me I break out into a sweat and act super spastic.

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  12. I am not the favorite daughter, and its very well known. My grandma makes up for it by spoiling the crap out me. So I guess that makes me the favorite granddaughter. :-)

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  13. I thought I farted in the bath tub the other night. I looked down and poop was floating.

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  14. I still sleep with my baby blanket. And really don't sleep well without it.

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  15. I kind of can't stand my brother. He's super arrogant and think's he is God's gift to women and the world. He is neither. Kind of a douche actually.

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    Replies
    1. I think we have the same brother.

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  16. I think my husbands friends are way more attractive than my husband.

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  17. My husband cheated on me...and I forgave him.

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  19. I am currently picking a zit.

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  20. Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely love animals.... When we were in college my three roommates and I decided to get a dog. So, without thinking it through we went and rescued an adorable mixed breed lab. As you all know, schedules are crazy and unpredictable in college making it hard for someone to be around the house to let the dog out. To counter, we would take the dog to the dog park in the morning and leave him at the dog park until one of us picked him up after class or work. The park had water, a fence, and all the room in the world to play. It was awful but he was always the happiest on days we left him there and never had a problem with it. Now I cringe to think of what could have happened to him and not one of us speaks of what we used to do.

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  21. I want to be able to ask my old boyfriend why he acted so surprised when he found out I was engaged to my now husband. We talked every day and I told him at one point I loved him so much. (While hubby and I were "taking a break") He always acted like he wanted to be with me forever, but would beat around the bush. But still talked about it sometimes when he was in a relationship. But when he called to tell me he knew I was engaged, he sounded more hurt than what he tried to make it seem.
    I just want to know if he actually wanted me, if he was going to ask me to leave my boyfriend. That sort of things. All the "what ifs" girls want answered. My husband truly is the better man, but he was my first and only love for almost 10 years.

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  22. If it has batteries, I'm addicted. If you catch my drift.

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  23. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my ex and wonder if I made the right decision.

    However, I love the smell of my own shit, so there's that.

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  24. I grew up as a nudist. It's really not as weird as people generally think it is.

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  25. I practically have to beg my husband to have sex with me. E says he doesn't need it. The longest he didn't need it? 6 weeks.
    He thinks once a week is adequate.
    He says it's not me, he just isn't that into it.
    I've seriously considered cheating just to be able to have more sex.

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    Replies
    1. Ditto!!! I have always been so embarrassed by it too!

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    2. I dated a guy who was the same way. He actually told his friend that he would rather watch porn and masterbate than have sex with any woman. Little did he know that I found out about that comment. Soon after I ended it.

      Delete
  26. I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety. It's so weird and embarrassing because i have always been super outgoing, loved going out and being around people. Somewhere along the way, I just began to dread big social functions. I have an anxiety issue, for which I am on medication, and that's all well and good, but it's so embarrassing and I haven't told anyone. Not even my husband. I just will decide "ya know what? I really DONT feel like going to that wedding of my kinda-sorta-friend." People ask me why I decide not to go, don't I feel like I'm missing out?, etc. But ya know what? I don't feel like that. I'm totally content to do my own thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a shut-in or anything like that, but I just would rather not partake in awkward repartee with random folks.

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    Replies
    1. Are you my twin? This is VERBATIM what I feel about my anxiety, too. I have meds that I don't take... My husband is so outgoing and loves going out, I feel like a terrible wife for not wanting to be social... Even though I was SUPER social up until a few years ago. It's like the older I get, the more I don't feel like myself.

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  27. I wanted to have a girl so bad that I cried so much when they told us our 2nd child was a boy as well. The ultrasound tech was furious with me, I cried for 3 days. I love him more than anything in the world and wouldn't trade him for anything. Although I still have days where I break down and cry and wonder why God didn't trust me enough to give me a girl. It's even hard for me to accept and congratulate friends that have had girls after having boys, especially when they can't even afford the babies they currently have. I have only 1 friend who I was genuinely happy for when she had a girl.

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  28. Today I took the largest crap of my life. Literally. So big, it piled at least two inches above the water. So fresh and so much I could feel the steam when I wiped.

    I truly felt lighter afterwards.

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  29. I used to have a thing for guys with lip rings. Who am I kidding...I still do.

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  30. I can't get the big "O" without having to use a vibrating device during sex with my husband. He's the only person I have ever had the big "O" with anyway, but sometimes it really sucks that I have to manually get things done.

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    Replies
    1. Me too. Feels good without it, but no O without battery operated assistance.

      Delete
  31. I'm sitting at my computer refreshing every minute or so to see if there are new comments because I'm that nosy

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  32. When I was 5, my older brother committed suicide. I'm 23, and the only person I've ever told about my brother is my husband. My best friend doesn't even know. I'm scared people will think my family is full of crazy people if they knew.

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  33. I have never had an intimate dream about my husband, but I have had plenty of intimate dreams about my ex, and many celebrities! Mainly Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson (ironically both from That 70's Show, but I dream about them as they are now)...oh and let's not forget Timothy Olyphant! Yes let's not forget him! ;D

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  34. I want kids but can't afford them...

    I care about how I look but pretend I don't.

    If I poop once a day I'm pumped. I'm lucky if it's once a week. Fiber anyone?

    I actually do think I'm cool...

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  35. I recently moved to another country for a guy I met on the internet. We love each other but he cheated on me and I don't know if i can get over it.. I don't know if i can ever be truly happy here. I am planning to not return after my visit home...he doesn't know yet. I don't know if I'm more afraid of hurting him..or myself.

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  36. I was addicted to TLC reality before I got rid of cable. When Jon and Kate was on, I wanted Kate's hair. When 19 Kids and COunting was on, I wanted to get off of birth control. When Extreme Couponing came on, I ordered 3 newspaper subscriptions. When sister wives cam on, I dreamed of what it would be like to have a couple extra wives around to help with chores and grocery shopping (keep your hands off my man though!).

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  37. I don't think less of people for the way they look, but I am always always always analyzing people's hair and make up. And I seriously only do my own hair like twice a week, so it's super hypocritical. I don't think I seem judgy, but I just think how it could be different, better, etc.

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  38. i wish the person above who wanted the threesome were erin & her husband. i would be all about that in a heartbeat.

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    Replies
    1. I was thinking the same thing!!

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  40. I sometimes get annoyed with my kids, bad mom I know... but after 5 years of bing a SAHM, I am ready for some adult interaction!

    I love you guys!!!

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  41. I can't stand being alone. I don't like going places alone, driving places alone - i always try to have someone go with me. I'm like ricky bobby & his hands... i just don't know what to do with myself. so awkward.

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  42. After my parents divorced my dad starting dating way too soon (in my opinion). Being the lil teenage rebel I was I took it upon myself to do something about it. And I:
    1.Shit on her car windshield
    2.Keyed her car
    3.Egged her house. Twice
    4.Threw her bills away before she saw them so she would get late fees
    5.Would make it a priority to flush the toilet when she was in the shower to scald her with hot water.

    Five years later she is my stepmom and we are really close. She knows none of the bitchy things I did to her except jokes about me not paying attention when people are in the shower.

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  43. I have serious paranoia. As in, it's starting to hurt my everyday life. I'm constantly afraid our stupid neighbors will burn our apartment down, so I have all my essentials right by the door every night. I have to triple check the door is locked, I'm scared to go out after dark, and I'm petrified to go out running by myself. I've watched so much SVU & Dateline that I am convinced I will wind up a story on one of those shows. My husband doesn't even know how bad it is.

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  44. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

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  45. I honestly think my biggest goal in life is to get married and be a housewife. I could do so much more with my life, but that's what I want. How the hell do you explain that to people?

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    Replies
    1. I am the exact same way!

      Delete
    2. I wish I felt this way. I am slightly opposite: I want so much more for my life, but I know I'm destined to be a housewife/SAHM when I have kids, so why bother trying to succeed. This is why I am scared to have kids.

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  46. I love my husband very much, and would never do anything to hurt him, but I'm afraid, no I know, I settled

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    Replies
    1. I settled too, and have no idea why

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    2. I settled too-I have no idea why either.

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    3. But what's worse, settling, or never finding anyone else to love you?

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    4. I wish I could find someone to settle for

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    5. I settled and it was the best decision I have made. With each day that passes I fall in love with my husband a bit more.

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  47. I am also picking a zit right now.

    I pick my nose.

    I'm a liberal.

    yes, the above is a secret, I live in an area that is literally 80%+ conservative. shhhh don't tell

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  48. I absolutely love sex! I want it more often than my husband does which is really saying something!

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  49. I've been married a couple years now and am too scared to have sex. I feel so bad for my husband but not bad enough yet to do something about it, like, see a counselor. I just dont think seeing one will help. It freaks me out and I start to cry if we try to have sex because I am so scared..of the unknown I guess. I wish I was not this way. I wasnt abused as a child or anything so I'm not sure what the deal is.

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    Replies
    1. I am the same. Only husband knows.

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  50. I am with the above anonymous. I want to get married and be a housewife. I have a boyfriend of 5 years and I just want to get married and have babies.

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  51. for those who spoke about having paranoia and anxiety, go to a doctor. i am totally against medicine (don't even take anything for headaches), but i almost had a nervous breakdown last month. i have OCD, mild depression, generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. they gave me zoloft. best thing i ever did. lived through hurricane sandy (was evacuated and our apartment flooded) and it actually helped control everything. i still got a little anxious and stressed, but not like before. it was weird, but a blessing in disguise. i'm going to see a counselor next week on campus as well. i hope you guys see this! <3

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  52. I think my friends are stupid for wanting to drink every week. But I drink with them sometimes when someone's in town.

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  53. I almost called my boyfriend my ex's name a few weeks ago. Since then, I try to think before I say anything. I feel guilty.

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  54. My husband decided that we don't fart around each other. Actually, he doesn't want me to fart around him, so he decided that "we" just don't do that. I'm all for it- never have to smell boy fart. He has no clue that I fart around him almost daily. I'm just silent and there's no smell. Bahaha!

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    Replies
    1. Mine says the same! And it's always easy to blame the dog! Lol

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  55. My dream is to write a novel and have it published, but I am afraid of telling people that is my goal because I might not ever finish, much less have it published. Sometimes I wonder why I am so convinced I should write a novel. It would be so much easier not to have a dream.

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  56. I'm pretty sure I can eat an entire Little Ceaser's pizza in one sitting. I haven't done it yet because I'm afraid that I can and I don't want to say that I've ever done it.

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  57. I want my boyfriend to propose to me. We're planning on getting married in 5 weeks and still no ring :( Oh and nobody knows we plan on getting married in 5 weeks!

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  58. I have a legitimate goal to never fart in front of my future husband.

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  59. I am absolutely disgusted by fat people. It's not the fat itself so much as the laziness and disregard for your life that makes me cringe.
    And every time I hear someone say they're obese because it's a "disease" or "genetic", I seriously want to punch them.

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    Replies
    1. i think people like you are what's wrong in the world and also why people have eating disorders. what's it to you if someone is fat.

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  60. I am totally with some of you ladies who want sex more than the husband. he makes me feel like an animal. there have been times we will go MONTHS without doing anything (totally not my choice). kills me!

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  61. I am in a LTR with a great guy but I am only still in it because I have horrible self esteem and body image issues and don't think anyone else will love me. He is an amazing guy and everyone thinks he is a catch and me? Wish I could find someone else.

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  62. So along with being too scared to have sex I also dont want kids. I'd rather adopt. Someday. As a kid I never saw myself birthing kids. I dont dare say anything much to anyone as I know it would greatly hurt and/or offend the feelings of my friends who are struggling to get pregnant right now.

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  63. All 3 of my sisters are adopted, and I don't have the best relationship with them. Neither do my brothers or parents. I'm worried we (I) didn't try hard enough to consider them part of this family. It eats at me every day, and I have no idea how to take the 1st step to stand up & work at fixing it.

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  64. I have a favorite boob. It's a little bigger than the other one. LOL

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  65. I'm on birth control and it has made me gain 20 lbs. No joke. My eating habits haven't changed greatly since getting married and I am depressed and sad about the extra weight. 20 isnt much to lose but when you arent used to working out and when your working out doesnt seem to help you lose weight, its very discouraging. I hate pictures of myself and going out because I think I look enormous.

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  66. I've been depressed for a few years and haven't gone to the doctor about it because I don't want to take pills. Thus my life is depressing.

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  67. My best friend is a 32 year old virgin who is saving herself for her husband. She is FINALLY dating a guy, but has to have him approved by her pastor first. I think it's a bunch of crap, and that is not a church it's a cult!! And to top it off, all of her churchy girls and her get drunk, yet tell the church they don't, and go on acting like perfect little ladies! Bunch of damn hypocrites!! Makes me furious!!! Put on your big girl panties, make your own decision and live your life!!

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    Replies
    1. She's banging him.... No doubt about it.

      Delete
  68. I love animals. LOVE them. I'm obsessed with my cat but OMG pet hair makes me crazy. Everytime I have some on me I have a mini panic attack.

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  69. My family is broke and we're barely getting by. It's not fun but we hope this part of our life is a transition. Anyone else in the same situation?

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    Replies
    1. You are not alone! We're almost two months behind rent. I'm the only one working. Fiancé is unemployment with no more unemployment. Afraid that if he doesn't find something soon we'll be homeless. I'm scared to death we'll have to get rid of our pup!

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  70. I think I care more about what is happening in my favorite bloggers' lives than in my own friends' lives. It's such an easy way to escape reality and still feel a connection with someone.

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  71. 2 years ago the most embarrassing thing of my life happened to me. While I was driving home one night (about a 30 minute drive on a country road) I started feeling horrible and had to go to the bathroom immediately. I tried to drive to a close fast food place but it was too late! I pooped my pants. But that isn't the worst part. It was the worst diarrhea I've ever had and I couldn't stop going. I had to call my husband and have him meet me in an empty school parking lot because we lived in an apartment complex and I didn't want anyone to see (Because the totally would have!!). Luckily it was dark and there were lots of bushes around that school. I had to clean off myself and the car as best I could so I could get home. My husband tried to help but he almost threw up. Thank goodness we had leather seats!!

    I swore him to secrecy! But we make jokes about it all the time. And sometimes I catch myself saying things like "Who would poop their pants?!?" Oh wait... I did. A grown woman. I thought my husband would be so disgusted with me that he would leave me, but luckily he didn't!

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    Replies
    1. I'm balling my eyes out laughing at this! I love you!

      Delete
  72. I never want to have sex ever. I just don't get horny ever and I never have so I fake orgasms with my husband all the time. He is so hot and he is good in bed I just want it to be over as quick as possible. Even on our wedding night I wasn't really up for it.

    Seriously if anyone knows why I might be this way please comment in reply!!

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    Replies
    1. Talk to your family doctor. Low estrogen, thyroid levels, birth control... There can be a ton of different reasons all with simple cures. I used to have the same problem... But not anymore ;)

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    2. I have the same problem. I have medical conditions but I know people with the same problems who have sex. I do it to get it over it, and am terrified he's going to leave me because its not often...

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    3. I feel the same way!

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  73. My husband and I haven't had decent sex since we got married. It's terrifying.

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  74. Pants pooping is the best story of the night! Hahaha you poor thing!

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  75. To the broke person, I took our family to the brink of bankruptcy. It was stressful, and scary and I never shared that with my spouse, so I felt very alone and like a fake to be living a life style I couldn't afford. Slowly, we have crawled out of debt, still spend too much, don't save enough. My spouse still doesn't know we live pay check to paycheck.....

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  76. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  77. I have a great paying job, good benefits, and I get to travel. But I hate it. I want a job that makes me happy. Money is nice, but I've learned that it doesn't really make me happy.

    I'm afraid to look for a "lesser" job that would make me happy because I'm afraid of what people will thing. Mostly the people closest to my fiance. I know his parents are friends love me, but I don't ever want them to think that he's settling.

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  78. To the never want to have sex ever person..are you on birth control ? For me I think thats why I never have the desire to have sex (Besides of the fact I'm too scared) I just never get horny and I think b.c has killed that. Was on the shot for a year and now I'm trying the patch. Hasnt made too much difference. Just my guess that it is bc of birth control? But if you are not on b.c then...Im not sure :-/ sorry!

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  79. The best thing I've learned about sex is that you don't have to compare to anybody else and there is seriously no such thing as "normal!"

    That said, my sex advice to all the girls who want a little more enjoyment is to go to a "non-porn" sex toy shop online (seriously, google it) with your husband, and buy a nice vibrator. It will change your life ;). That's MY secret!

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  80. The Life Alert commercial where the old man falls down in the garden while grabbing his chest and says, "I'm having a heart attack" makes me laugh hysterically.

    Sometimes I rewind it.

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    Replies
    1. I'm laughing so hard that in crying trying to read this comment to my husband. Hilarious!

      Delete
  81. I'm the same way! I have almost no sex drive at all, even though my boyfriend is gorgeous and great in bed. My advice would be to do it more! I find the more I have sex, the more I want it. Still nowhere near as much as he would like, but it's helping!!

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  82. I am like insanely competitive with my friends. I feel bad, but I almost get upset when good things happen to them because I want to be the one with the best life! Terrible, I know this.

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  83. I'm scared I will never really be happy. I worry I settled just so my effed up dad wouldn't be right about me being alone & never amounting to anything.

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  84. I'm married and love my husband but secretly in love with my best guy friend. He's a 32 year old virgin and I think he might be gay. Sometimes I wish I was single. I take depression medication and can't stop eating crap food. I love my dog and my job and reading this blog

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  85. This is also to the girl that doesn't ever want to have sex. Have you ever experienced the big "O" as someone else referred to it? Because if you haven't, I think having one could make a big difference for your sex drive. Ever thought about trying a vibrator? They work wonders and there are kinds that you can use during sex too. Also I personally think it would be really good to talk to your husband about it, he might be able to help. There is a great book called "Sheet Music" by Kevin Leman. It is a Christian book and I highly recommend it.

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  86. I'm only 20 (and a half) years old and I've slept with 5 people. I had a long-term relationship with 2 of them so I don't feel so bad about those. But the other 3 were just one time things and it kinda makes me feel like a...whore. I didn't even enjoy the sex with the 3 guys that were just one-night stands. Coincidence? I think not.

    Also, I'm pretty sure I have a shopping addiction. Doesn't matter what it is. Groceries, clothes, makeup, toiletries, birthday presents for other people --- I just love to shop. It always puts me in such a good mood. Until I realize how little money I have.

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    Replies
    1. You're not a whore. Between age 18 and 19 I had slept with 13 different men. Trust me, you have no reason to think you're a whore.

      Delete
    2. I wouldn't worry. I had slept with 14 guys from the age of 16-20 which is when I met my husband. He was #14 and my number has stayed the same.

      Delete
  87. I have the worst smelling farts EVER! But it is great because I trick my husband into smelling them. He will be across the room and I will say "I love you baby" and make a kissy face at him so he will come over to give me a kiss and then he gets sucked into my death trap. At first he thought it was hilarious, now he doesn't like it so much. The bad part is that anytime I want a kiss he assumes that I've farted.

    I know I'm crazy, but I just love torturing him. Haha.

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  88. Those of you talking about your lack of a sex drive.

    Watch some porn! I'm not kidding. Why do so many people think it's only for men? I'll watch it on occasion before my husband gets home from work as a kind of "foreplay." I don't even tell him about it and that gives him a lot of extra confidence in the bedroom when he sees how much I want him!

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  89. my husband won't have sex with me. i plan on leaving him, but am secretly saving up money first.

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  90. I do the whole giving people makeovers in my head thing...but while sitting in church...double bad.

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  91. i hate sex and i wish it would just go away

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  92. I've never had a real friend my whole life till my 30's and then after 5 years she left and treated me so bad I tried to take my own life. I feel pressured by my husband and best friend to put everything a side so we can all hang out like normal.

    I don't want to but I'm afraid to disappoint people and I'm thinking about being her friend again....even though she will never admit or say she is sorry for the way she treated me.

    I'm scared I'm going to have bad thoughts and think of suicide an want to say something but I can't. I'm an amazing person who just loves everyone and has a great family but why is this happening?? Why do I feel the need to please anyone dispite how it hurts me.

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  93. I married my husband because I was scared to death of being alone and staying with the guy I was dating and treated me like the world. Now Im miserable and cheat. lesson: don't be afraid of change!

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  94. I cheated on my husband when we were dating. He knows and still begged me back and takes care of me. I dont deserve it. I still feel guilty and sometimes I still cry after sex. I will never be able to forgive me even though he has.

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  95. I watched a girl fall down a flight of stairs today and laughed the whole time. Never even asked her if she was okay. Just laughed.

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  96. Reading all of the above comments-I feel so much better knowing that there are other people out there who struggle with the same issues that I do.

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  97. I'm 25 and have never had a boyfriend. In fact, I've only ever made out with guys. I also work night shift, so I have a limited social life. I'm starting to worry that I will never find the man for me because I'm never in situations to meet single men. I try to pretend I'm content and have no desire to settle down soon, but it's a lie.


    Also, I hope Guliana has left an anonymous secret on here.

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  98. I Hate Hate black people, they act like everybody owes them something, they are cheap,stupid and here we have a black president AGAIN, smh!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Seriously, racism is simply ignorance and you are dumb as hell

      Delete
  99. I also pooped my pants... at age 28. I had too much dessert at a friend's house, and could not make it all the way home. Luckily it was dark when I got home and I could quickly go put my clothes in the washer. So horrifying! Thank goodness nobody saw me.

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  100. I have been with my husband for many man years, and I absolutely love him to death! He's the one I want to be with forever, and PERFECT! But.... yep there's the but.... I fantasize about my handsome ex boyfriend! Sometimes even being with both of them.... at the same time!!!

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  101. I am almost 21 and I have never had a boyfriend. Never had a real kiss either. I have dated, but I never like the guy as much as he likes me, and then drive them away because of it. I feel like maybe there is something wrong with me.

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  102. I want to slap all that hate sex (inless there's a reason). Sex is great. Even if the guy sucks. I drove my exs insane because I wanted sex so much. Guess it's your lost. Just wait til you loose that special guy over it. ;]

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    Replies
    1. Don't worry, I'll send those guys your way. If that's all they are interested in, you sound right up their alley!

      Delete
  103. I want to have kids but my husband doesn't. I know I will never leave him so I am afraid I will be unhappy in that portion of my life forever.

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  104. I've tried to kill myself before....more than 5 times. I started trying when I was 8. I have learned to hide my desire to die because I know people will think I'm a freak. It is also why I hope to never have children. I don't want to pass this on.

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  105. I use a vibrator every single day.

    and people wonder why I'm always happy....

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  106. I live alone. Sometimes I just look in the mirror and think- dang I'm sexy. And then I'm sad because no one is there to witness my sexiness.

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  107. I don't actually like the majority of blogs that sponsor mine.

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  108. I can have the big O but the only way is if pain is inflicted. I've tried telling this to guys but they get weird about it and leave me. I was never abused but I just love it when it hurts so much. I hide it and never have that O which causes me to not want sex.

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  109. I take self portraits on my phone ALL of the time. Sometimes naked. Not even to send to somebody...but just because I think it's a confidence booster.

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  110. I have a MUCH higher sex drive than my husband and consequently I think of cheating with a co-worker that's wife doesn't like sex.

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  111. I'm afraid I'm going to die alone. I'm only 24 but I just have this feeling that no one will ever love me. My friends hate hearing about it, especially the ones who are married. I feel like they think I'm so depressing which causes them to not want to hang out with me.

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  112. It is so refreshing to be able to see that other people feel the same way I do and have endured the same stuff.

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  113. Sometimes I pee my pants a little and no one ever knows. I really wish that I could be braver.

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  114. I'm pregnant and my anxiety has gotten so bad I can't even leave the house. My whole pregnancy I've only left the house once a month to go to my doctor, and even then I have a panic attack

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  115. When my now husband and I were first dating, I spent the night at his house after I had little too much to drink. I ended up peeing the bed. We woke up and everything was soaked. I blamed him. I knew it was me (because it's happened before ) He still loved me enough to eventually marry me. It happened again after we were married....and when we woke up he's like, "IT WAS YOU!!"

    I has a sad bladder.

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  116. I'm 23 and single and cannot wait to be pregnant. It's like an obsession. I love following bloggers who are pregnant. If no one I knew had to know I was pregnant I would have a baby tomorrow.

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  117. There's a trade-off for whomever marries me. I get a ring, he gets anal.

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  118. I check my ex's email...nearly 10 years after breaking up. How pathetic is that?

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    Replies
    1. Who keeps the same password for 10 years?!

      Delete
  119. I want kids but I'm very scared I wont be able to have any.

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  120. If I could punch my previous roommate in the face anonymously I would.

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  121. I want to get married, but if my boyfriend of two years proposed tomorrow I would say no. I'm afraid I will never get married if I DON'T settle.

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  122. I sometimes fart those silent but deadly ones... and it usually happens when my fiance is around. I try so hard to act like its not me but dang it I bust out laughing every time!

    The lady that pooped her pants CRACKED me up.

    Saying a little prayer for those that are struggling about suicide, depression, anxiety... I've dealt with depression. You are not alone!

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  123. I am in love with my high school sweetheart...16 years later. I still think about him like it was yesterday.

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  124. I'm 25. I had my first orgasm a month ago... by myself. I've been married for 5 years.

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  125. I was catching a flight to Fort Lauderdale about 6 years ago and slept late that morning. The airport is about an hour away, so I was in a huge rush! When I arrived at the airport, my flight was scheduled to leave in 30 minutes an I still had to find a place to park. I drove around the parking deck for almost 10 minutes and saw a lady walking to her car in my rear view mirror. I was afraid I would miss the spot, so I whipped my car around really fast and totally underestimated how close a parked car was. Took off the bumper of a Ford Ranger... still got the parking spot :) My car already had a dent in the same spot so no one ever knew anything happened! I made my flight and never told a soul! I feel bad about sometimes... And then I laugh;)

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  126. I'm married to a wonderful man... but I think I might be attracted to women.

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  127. I'm 25 and have been single for the better part of the last six years, which I actually enjoy.

    The longer I'm single, the more I'm convinced that I will never get married because when I do go on dates or start liking someone, they get on my nerves almost immediately. Oh well, I like being alone and not having anyone to answer to!

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  128. i dont know how to reply to comments other people left apparently. the "what's wrong with the world" comment was directed at the fat comment, not at you erin!

    ReplyDelete
  129. Whenever I drink, I go into bathroom stalls and dance.

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  130. Whenever I drink, I go into bathroom stalls and dance.

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  131. If I see somebody with a head covering in an airport, I assume they are going to hijack the airplane I am on.

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  132. Peeling sunburned skin and popping zits are two of my favorite things to do, especially on other people. Sometimes my fiance will roll onto his stomach in bed and let me attack all of the blackheads on his back. It's awesome :)

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    Replies
    1. Omg I love doing that too!!!

      Delete
  133. I facebook stalk like a champ, pick my nose, fart, forget to shower some days, I think I am good looking but counter that with telling myself at least IK I am vain. Also I always think I will be way more awesome in reality and tell people what I think but truly I end up chickening out cause well I am human and do care what people think. Oh and I am envious of many people even though my life truly is pretty sweet!! Alright out!!

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  134. My husband refuses to have sex with me he says its not me but I know its because I have gained 60lbs in the last 9 years we have been married from having two pregnancies and not doing anything to lose the weight, as a result of him having no interest I fantasize about a guy from school.
    Sometimes I wonder if when Im done with school if I should leave and find someone who loves me and is attracted to me no matter what.

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  135. OMG! I really like popping zits too. My boyfriend also lays on his stomach and lets me get the ones on his back. I've always thought i was kind of a freak but it didn't bother me enough to stop me from doing it.

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  136. I love to pick my nose. But I love to pick my kids noses more.

    I also like cleaning out ears.

    and I bite my toenails.

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  137. All of my christian friends keep telling me I need to find my perfect husband at church. They say he will love the bible, never miss a church service, and volunteer every Sunday. They say once I find a guy like this he will propose within months and the two of us will live happily ever after.

    The problem is, I don't really want a guy like that.... and it's mostly because I don't want someone to make me feel guilty if I skip church on a Sunday for no reason at all.

    ReplyDelete
  138. i am happily married but am scared i cant have kids. i am also to scared to go to the doctor. i get all this anxiety about it and have a negative physical response to thinking about going. like i get all light headed and sick. i feel bad for lying to my husband about it.

    i also cant stop shopping, it just makes me feel better about everything i cant do. expensive purses are my weakness!

    ReplyDelete
  139. These comments are the most exciting thing to happen to your blog in months. I quit reading because it used to bore me to tears!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Best blog ever. Worst comment ever.

      Delete
  140. In high school, I was giving my boyfriend a bj and threw up all over his lap. Piece of shit gag reflex. FML.

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  141. I hate my Mother In Law. She's rude and overbearing, she says stupid crap and judges everyone.

    Yet, I am too scared to tell her to STFU.

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  142. I starve myself sometimes. I am a recovering anorexic. I worry that no guys will ever like me (even though they too). I get attached too easily.

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  143. I have two. First, I must have a weak sphincter muscle b/c when I have to go, I have to go. The first time I pooped my pants was in middle school when my teacher wouldn't let me leave class to use the bathroom. The second time, in college, I woke up sick in the night in my boyfriend's (now husband's) dorm. I didn't want to have diarrhea in the bathroom soni tried to make it down the elevator to the common area bathroom. I didn't make it. The third time I was driving home and knew I wouldn't make it. I was in traffic. At a red light I pulled down my pants and pooped in a box that I had in my car. My besties and husband know and won't ever let me live it down. Wow. I'm pretty gross. Don't even get me started on the time I used my scarf to wipe in a port-a-potty. I loved that scarf. Shame.

    Second (as if the above wasn't enough) I am a thirty something wife/mother/and thumb sucker. Mortifying. My husband still loves me and is just used to it. I'd love to stop but think chopping my own thumb off would be the only way.


    Hugs and prayers to those suffering in unhappy marriages, with financial issues, contemplating suicide and suffering anxiety and depression.

    ReplyDelete
  144. When Obama won the election last night I spent the first few minutes THRILLED that my ex boyfriend and his family were absolutely miserable.

    It seemed like good payback for all the misery they put me through.

    ReplyDelete
  145. A lot of bloggers are really snotty. And rude. And I think they are ridiculous and need to realize that they are NOT all that and a bag of chips. (Not Erin ofcourse ;)

    ReplyDelete
  146. I can't wake up in the morning! I am always late for work (unless it's the first week of working somewhere new) and it is embarrassing. I don't know if it's anxiety or what but no matter when I go to bed I can never wake up on time on a consistent basis.

    ReplyDelete
  147. to the one who said my blog bores you to tears--It's true. My readers are the best part of this blog. I've known it all along ;)

    love,

    erin. aka anonymous.

    ReplyDelete
  148. I'm married and met a guy in another country on Chatroulette. We started talking on skype and have gotten to know each other very intimately. He has offered to pay for me to move to Argentina and be with him. He sends me perfume and flowers and gifts at work with love notes and my coworkers all think its from my husband. He sent me the book Only Love is Real and is convinced we are soul mates. I told him I cant leave my husband and he's told me he will wait forever.

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  149. I can't stand when bloggers use hashtags in their posts.

    Also I'm so over stupid headbands, thick plastic fake glasses, top knots, sock buns. I thought the look was cute for a quick minute -until I saw everyone doing it.

    Be a leader, not a follower. Why does everyone have to look the same?!

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  150. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  151. I'm 21 years old and I've never been kissed, like at all. Not even a small peck or kiss on the cheek.

    I've never had a boyfriend. I worry that I will never have one or get married.

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  152. Since this is anonymous, here I go. It's kind of painful to read your blog. I've had to stop reading it because I can barely get through the first couple sentences without getting bored or annoyed. I think you try to hard to be funny and your "self portraits" on instagram are out of control. What does having a stomach ache have to do with your face? Just saying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then why do you keep coming back? Just curious. You certainly don't have too.

      Delete
  153. I have a disorder called trichotillomania...meaning I pull my hair out, and I have since I was a kid (now in my early twenties). No matter what, I just can't stop, and I hate myself for doing. I have a really great life--but trich is ruining my life. I have to wear my hair up in a top knot every day just to hide the bald spots. I'm so insecure that even though I recently found out that the guy of my dreams actually loves me back, I'm driving him away because I don't think I should be in a relationship until I stop pulling out my hair and it grows back. I just want to be normal and healthy. And have a healthy relationship with the man I have secretly loved for years.

    ReplyDelete
  154. I struggle just about every day with my body image and trying to be happy with the way I look. I constantly worry about my weight, my appearance and just overall acceptance of myself. Some days I just feel like food is my enemy... :(

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  155. I'm also insanely competitive. I have a happy life but I always have to be better than others even my friends. I don't like this about myself. Also, I am a very proud person and I honestly feel that I'm always right.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Sometimes I masturbate while I drive - on highways mostly, it feels like I have more privacy haha!

    ReplyDelete
  157. I had 5 orgasms the other night. My husband is the MAN! I really want to share this with, like, everyone- but it's not something that just comes up during conversation. So I'll brag about it here. Oh. My. All that is good and holy.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Best blog ever? You must not read very many!!

    ReplyDelete
  159. I'm a nanny and I don't like kids. I think the sun rises and sets on my own daughter, but the other kids gross me out and annoy the heck out of me. I will never put my kids in daycare or leave them with a nanny because I've seen the affect it has on children. I feel like I can never voice this opinion because so many people I'm friends with are working moms. Its just so bad for them, and if you say its not you don't see the side that I see.

    ReplyDelete
  160. I cheated on my husband and he found out. we stayed together and now are closer than ever before.

    Love never fails.

    ReplyDelete
  161. I would rather die alone than be with anyone other than my ex. He has a girlfriend and lives 600 miles away. But he's still all I think about all day every day.

    Also, I don't have friends...none. I've only been asked on a date twice in my short life and I'm convinced that the reason is my smile that isn't so pretty...

    And oldly enough, I think I'd rather be alone and unhappy. At least I can bitch about it like I care...

    ReplyDelete
  162. I love kinky, crazysex. But, I'm way too scared to tell my boyfriend. So, I continue to fantasize what it could be like and deal with the same stuff every night. We've been together for about 5 months now, any ideas on how to ease him into trying new things? I don't want to sound like a freak!

    ReplyDelete
  163. I'd rather starve myself to lose weight than diet. But only because I'm too lazy to work out and watch what I eat.

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  164. I don't like my engagement ring. It sounds horrible but I think I deserve better. I try to not be materialistic but it really bugs me that my ring isn't bigger and worth more.

    ReplyDelete
  165. I have stretch marks EVERYWHERE after having my child and I'm small! I weigh 120 lbs so its not like I'm heavy. They are on my stomach (obviously), my butt, my hips, my thighs, my GROIN AND CROTCH AREA aaaaall the way up to my vagina! WTF. Seriously. I feel like a freak. Am I the only one who has them that extensively??????

    ReplyDelete

I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)