10.23.2012

My Beef With Blogging.

You should all know my feelings towards blogging by now....
I adore it.
Obviously or I wouldn't keep showing up day after day....
It is not only a great creative outlet, it's a way to document this crazy//funny//awkward//emotional thing called life, a good way to bring in a supplemental income, and a great way to connect with so many people you never would have otherwise.
 
And that last point brings me to my discussion topic today.
Relationships in blogging VS relationships in "real life".
I believe I touched on this briefly once before...yep, yep I did.
Right here as a matter of fact.
Crap. I just read through that post and realized it basically summed up everything I wanted to say today. Whatevs. Clearly this is something I struggle with or I would not feel the need to address it twice....
So here's the deal...
Do you ever find yourself being more intentional with the relationships you are developing online than with the relationships you have created in real life?
Because I do.
And it bothers me....
{card from Red Letter Paper Co} 
 
I continually tweet, instagram, and write blog posts to communicate with "my peeps", and then I realize a week has passed and I haven't even called or emailed my best friend. Totally not cool.
Is it because it is easier? Faster? Or is it because I want to appeal to the masses instead of one individual? Could it be that I convince myself that these online people need me more than the ones closest to me?
 
Now do not get me wrong---this blogging community and the relationships we form are very important and as proven to me at Influence, are very real.
 
But the relationships that we have harvested for years and years....the ones who know all of the material that will NEVER be on this blog, those are the ones I want to make sure I am pouring myself into.
 
I am filled up by face to face interaction.
Yes, tweets, comments, emails, instagram feed...it is all good and can be very uplifting, but when we rely only on those things for our "communication fix"? It's a recipe for loneliness, dissatisfaction, and high amounts of blah in my world.
 
It's time we check our hearts and make sure we are pouring it into the right places.
 
In conclusion, this post is for the ones who know me. Like reaaaallllly know me.
The ones who I turn to when life happens.
My friends, my family, my husband.
I love you oh so much and appreciate your unconditional love...
even when I tweet more than I text....or when I allow two weeks to pass before I pick up the phone and call you....or when I tell you to come to my blog to read a story rather than me just saying it to your face....
Thank you for investing yourself in my life.
May I never forget how special each and every one of you are.  
 
So tell me all you little blogettes out there....do you struggle with this or not?
Somebody please say yes. please?
And if not--what is your one piece of beef with blogging?
Don't act like you don't have any....

ps. I kid you not....this took place during the writing of this post.
Apparently these two have been spending a little too much time on the internet as well.
Well at least I know this one has.
 
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49 comments:

  1. I was actually struggling with this today - I have a friend who wants to hang out, but I had committed to write.

    Of course, I write more than just my blog, so I have to do it every day. The problem though is it's definitely hard to balance priorities sometimes.

    But people aren't always there.

    So, I think I'm going to call him tonight to see if he wants to meet up.

    Thanks for the reminder.

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  2. yes yes yes! ahh i've been thinking the same thing. thanks so much for sharing this! xx

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  3. Erin, I totally feel the same way! Sometimes it is just easier to blog and share that way than to have face to face or phone interaction. especially when your bursting to share a story but your too tired to talk. No excuse though. God created us to be relational and we should be intentional with our friends and family just as we are with our blogging. Thank you for your realness and transparency! Angie {{www.gracefullygiddy.com}}

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  4. lol as I was reading the blog my daughter crawled into my lap. "AWW THE PUPPIES ARE HUGGING" she loved it. :) And I loved the content. Thanks for sharing. So beautiful and true.

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  5. I think it's all about balance. Blogging is so fulfilling and such an important outlet for many of us, but it can become all consuming. To be honest, my sister and I have actually gotten closer because of blogging. This has been the first thing we both love to do and that we can do together. We are so different but blogging has shown us how similar we actually are.

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  6. I don't have this problem with blogging but i had this problem with facebook A LOT it was so bad I finally deleted my facebook it changed my life and was amazing, but I agree with the above comment it's about balance :)

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    1. I could not agree more! Getting rid of Facebook was so GREAT!

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  7. This is something I struggle with as well - sometimes its easier to write a blog post rather than email my group of girlfriends!

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  8. Yes, yes, yes. I make the same "mistakes" or let's say, I as often "misplace" my priorities with blogging or other online friendships vs. my real friends. It is especially easy to fall into this pattern because I am 4000 miles apart from my closest friends and all family and the 9 hour time difference does not help one bit. It is sometimes so much easier to chat on facebook, skype or wherever with those who are in the same time zone as me. It is sad and I was just thinking about this yesterday. I'm glad I got another reminder with your post today.

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  9. I read this post and the original post and I'm so glad you brought this up. I'm a new blogger and not nearly as successful as you yet :), but I can already tell that it is going to be a balancing act. I definitely had to set "blogging boundaries" at home, as in "no laptop time" so that my husband doesn't feel completely neglected.

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  10. I had this very problem with Twitter...for a little too long. I realized I was not interacting with my friends and often I relied on my husband to create events with my lifelong friends that sometimes I didn't even attend.
    I now appreciate my friends so much more and vow to stay true to them forever.
    Twitter? well I cancelled my first account and began a new one and kept a select few in my circle.
    xoxo
    Andie's Traveling Pants

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  11. I can totally relate. For me, because I'm a stay at home mom, it's easier for me to connect with the blogging community or on social media. I don't get out much or spend time with friends so blogging and social networking is my form of keeping any relationships. Even with my family we tend to text because my phone has bad service in our area and with screaming kids in the background it's easier to text and get back when I can. It works for me. I do get that I should be building and maintaining relationships face to face, or at least let those who are immediately around me know who I am and share my life with them rather than assume they keep up with me on my blog or social media outlets. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say because I assume they know. Then the kids distract me and I the day goes by and I don't even ask how they are doing. I know it's a bad cycle of nothing happening. I hope to change that. Thanks for bringing this up. xoxo

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  12. See the thing is I'm so bad with this that I was completely unaware that I even do it. I talk to certain bloggers just about every darn day, but my real life bestests? Nope definitely not every day let alone every week.

    Thanks for pointing this out!

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  13. Guilty. I have never thought of it that way before, but you are so right. Dang, I'm a crappy friend. Now I need to go call my bestie asap.

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  14. I totally agree and i have only been doing this since may. sometimes my hubby comes into my office and im like hushhh im blogging. I know he gets frustrated i feel so bad i need to learn to balance both. Plus he should always come first

    XoXo

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  15. oh my gosh. are you sure you didn't pose those puppies?? TOO CUTE.

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  16. oh, and I struggle with the same thing : /

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  17. I have been struggling with this a lot lately. I have a toddler and trying to find a balance between spending time with him and being a housewife has been difficult lately. That and losing that emotional connection with friends and family because I'm so busy with blogging. So you're totally not alone :-)

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  18. loving this. the post, not the fact that I too spend too much time 'plugged in' as opposed to with my friends / family

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  19. this post is a slap in the face... in the best way possible. i've been putting off calling some of my best friends for weeks... even months... but i can blog and return emails in a matter of days. thanks for the reminders to not neglect these deep rooted friendships.

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  20. YES. i feel like i do well connecting with people online but not as well connecting with people i know face-to-face. (and part of that, i think, is because a lot of them live far away, but that to me is no excuse.) i do want to be more deliberate and intentional about all my friendships, not just the ones online.

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  21. Blogging...think I told you my beef with it yesterday. :) but soon that will be sorted, thanks to you awesome lady!
    http://johced-ourjourneytoeverywhere.blogspot.com/
    xxx

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  22. I love this post- and I totally agree with you. I am definitely guilty of this and this was a great reminder to spend time actually talking and being with my friends too. You have an awesome blog! Just found it and I love it! :)

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  23. SO true. My husband has been feeling it this week because I have in blog land from sun up to sun down, designing, posting, advertising, it could go on and on. And tonight I will turn off this computer when he gets home. And put my phone away...Maybe?

    Those puppies. Omg.

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  24. How cute is that puppy hug?!?

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  25. Nah, My real friends are not that great anyway and i don't really like people in real life.

    Blogging world is less demanding


    Ps : It is a joke

    Pss: I don't know if my friends read your blog...

    ;)

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  26. SQUEEEEEEE! Mostly I just wanted to say THOSE DOGGIES ARE MELTING MY BLACKENED HEART!

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  27. Visiting from Janna's blog. :) My best friends and I all get together at least twice a week (sometimes more) just to hang out so it's easy for me keep up with my in-person relationships. The ones that are hard are my best friends from college who are still some of my best friends. We all get together at least 2 weekends a year and send out monthly updates to each other. I'm bad about texting and Skyping with them as much as I should, though. I really need to be better about that!

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  28. I was just talking to my best friend this morning about this, we talk at least one or twice a week but I feel like I am not as social as i want to be due to a lot of juggling of house projects, working out, etc. Need to pay more attention and adjust though priorities. How does it all get done?!

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  29. Yes, I struggle with this and even though I am pained to admit it I am addicted to facebook/blogging/andmyoccasionalbreakoutontwitter...
    I crave to hear from my readers, etc. I put way more effort into it a lot of days than I do with the real world. Sometimes it is my way of dealing with all the things going on around me... it's my release. I just hate how much of a popularity contest some parts of the blogging world has come to. Honestly I never started my blog to see how many followers I could get, etc. and I really need to constantly remember that. Love this post!

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  30. The hardest part about blogging for me is that I reply and/or comment on every blog that visits mine. It's getting to the point where I can't keep up, but I'm still trying! Haha.

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  31. Well crap. Now I feel bad for putting my sister's bday card on my blog yesterday. :) Guilty of all of this. Such a great reminder for us silly bloggers. I'm still trying to find a balance ... and right now while being sick, my balance is off more than ever. Physically and mentally. So maybe I'll get back to you on this next week.

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  32. Your pups are so cute! I agree completely, I interact daily with those within the blogosphere but can't say the same about my IRL friends :-/

    That's sad and I definitely need to make more of an effort also. Great guest post on PIEverything!

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  33. I love the Teal Boyfriend Blazer and the White Chiffon Blouse with pockets!

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  34. I know relationships are a two way street, in any forum, but sometimes I feel as though my IRL friends just drop the ball completely. I feel as if I'm always the one trying to get together or make plans. Of course I get the obligatory, 'yes, we have to get together' response, but it never happens. Or specifically, I feel as though my BFF is replacing me because my life got very crazy/tragic/hectic in the past 6 months. It's a frustrating cycle.

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  35. Girl this is me to a T. When I realized this about blogging, I was totally taken aback. I swear I didn't even realize I was doing it. I think with friendly reminders from my "in real life" friends I've been able to balance it out pretty well. My blog really has become an extension of me {the real me}, and my true friends support me, so it's made it such an amazing thing online and in real life.

    Kristine from The Foley Fam {unedited} Blog

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  36. I do struggle with this, I think being connected on the internet through blogging to other people makes it inevitable to feel like we sometimes loose closeness to the friends we have had for years.
    The most important thing to me has always and will always be my husband, friends and family. Taking time and moments out to appreciate those people need to happen and sometimes we forget that.

    I am thinking its time for a dinner date with my best friend - and thats not just because I am always hungry...

    Erin
    www.cali-landchic.com

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  37. totally agree. especially when moving all over the country, I have found myself many times telling people to "go read my blog, it's all on there"....and then a few moments later I want to eat my words.

    I don't have any real advice. I think being aware of it as you are & being intentional in face to face relationships is where to begin.

    XO.

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  38. That picture at the end is sooooo freakin' adorable!!! Thanks for sharing Erin!!

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  39. I am way too attached to my internet- phone laptop and then all the social media that goes with it. Great post.

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  40. This is so true. I've had this conviction a lot lately!

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  41. Most of my IRL friends don't live near me so we are mostly FB friends anyways... SO I have been trying to develop blogger relationships, so I have more friends! :P
    I know what you mean though, sometimes I realize I have been reading/typing for a couple hours without talking to my boyfriend, who is sitting in the chair next to me.

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  42. So true!!! I feel i have done this in the past and have seen it personally in others who blog around me. Thank you so much for sharing about this in such a lovely truthful way! Newest follower:)

    Aligna (aka Shopgirl from ShopgirlsJourney)
    @ www.shopgirl1982.com

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  43. Erin, I am completely with you, but may I ask you a question?... Honestly, I feel like since I started writing the Queen City Style, I may have in fact LOST "real" friends. Do you understand this? I am not a judgemental person or one who draws conclusions on perceptions, but I do feel that some of the people I considered my closest friends do not want to see me succeed in this light, are resentful and assume that I must just have it ALL... I know this for a fact, bc I have been told in social settings. I just don't get it... these are supposed to be my friends... but when they say, I don't want a "virtual relationship," and I am confident I have not changed one iota, I feel this as passive aggressive and just mean. So... I certainly can relate to you... can you relate to me?? Thanks for this post... Every one you write is insightful, thought-provoking and meaningful :)
    Whitley
    www.thequeencitystyle.com

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  44. Awwwwwwww. I just had to comment on the dogs hugging. That's just so adorable!!!!!!

    You know what... I think that you can find a lot more people in the blogging world that have more in common with you than the people around you, but that doesn't mean you forget about the people around you. Life just happens and everyone should know that. I have thinking a lot lately too! Blogging friends and non-blogging friends.... I think everyone has a place in your life and it's all real and special.

    Janna from "perceptioniseverything" brought me to your page! :)

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  45. yes, and i could write a huge massive comment, but i just blogged about it the other day (: love your heart, and openness, and especially this line: "It's time we check our hearts and make sure we are pouring it into the right places."
    xx
    http://heldbyhishand.blogspot.com/2012/10/blog-friends-vs-real-ones.html

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  46. This is probably the best post I've ever read. Thanks for writing it.

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)