9.24.2012

One Year Ago Today.

 
 
Grandma-
 
One year ago today you met Jesus face to face.
It is still hard for me to believe that you won't be at dinner tonight as the rest of us will gather around the table and talk about the precious memories we shared with you.
 
I wanted to tell you that just the other day I was behind grandpa on my way into work.
He had no idea I was directly behind him as we pulled up to a red light.
I sat there intently staring at his face in the rear view mirror.
I will never forget the pain in his eyes.
The deep sighs he would continually let out.
Grandma, he was thinking of you.
Missing you.
Loving you.
 
As I watched on, tears streamed down my face.
I ached for this man who was deeply missing the love of his life.
In that moment though, I was overcome with an unexplainable sense of joy.
I wanted to love harder.
Live fuller.
Make the day count more than I have ever wanted before.
 
So today grandma, I will do just that....all in your honor.
 
Thank you for the blessings and lessons you are pouring into my life, even from up above.
 
We love you.
We miss you.
And we celebrate all that you are.
 
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57 comments:

  1. Such a sweet post...will be thinking of you and your family today! xo

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  2. You my friend know how to make a girl cry. Simply beautiful :)

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  3. Sending positive thoughts your way. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  4. Sending hugs and prayers your way, sweet lady :)

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  5. I lost my Grandma, as well, last December. It's so heartbreaking. Hugs to you, what a sweet post in honor of your Grandma. xo

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  6. Our grandparents are such a gift ... thinking of you and your family. Xo

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  7. Erin, this is such a heartfelt post. I love it. I can picture you driving behind your grandfather. Thanks for sharing a more serious side of you. I know it's not always easy.

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  8. Such a great post. Thinking of you as this is a hard milestone. Your words were just beautiful and your conviction so clear. Thanks for sharing.

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  9. Thinking of you. It is so hard experiencing a death of a loved one. Sending love to you and your family xx

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  10. RIP to your sweet grandma Erin and much love to your grandpa. Did your grandma play cards? Because my grandpa did ALL. THE. TIME. and I have no doubts that he is up there in heaven challenging everyone including your grandma to a game of cards. :)

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  11. That was beautiful, Erin :) Thank you for sharing. Sending long-distance hugs and prayers your way.

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  12. So sweet Erin. Definitely made me tear up! I have felt these same thoughts for my grandma having lived so long with my grandpa and then having to live without him on this Earth. I always take joy in thinking about them reuniting in heaven someday!

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  13. Oh Erin this was such a beautiful post and a great reminder! Thinking of you! xo

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  14. Such a sweet post. I am praying for your family.

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  15. Such a beautiful post! My grandmother is my best best friend and she's sick with cancer. I will miss her with all of my heart when she is gone. I'm so glad you're still feeling the presence of your grandma in your life.

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  16. I am so sorry that you lost your grandmother. I say "lost" because you will find her again. She is in your heart - living through you. You are such a sweet girl, Erin. You are an amazing writer and I love your ability to pull me into whatever story you are telling. Tonight you pulled me into a place that I'd been fighting for a long time - mourning my own loss. I am here. Taking the deep breath and learning to appreciate right beside you. Love to you friend. xo.

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  17. that is amazing. what a sweet post.

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  18. this is absolutely beautiful. sending prayers your way!

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  19. This is beautiful. I happened to just lose my grandmother tonight at the young age of 73. This post really spoke to me and makes me feel that I am not alone. Maybe your grandma can welcome mine into heaven this evening.

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  20. This post brought tears to my eyes. All four of my grandparents have passed away (the first was 13 years ago; the most recent was 5 years ago) and I miss all of them every day. I'm not sure the pain ever really goes away, but you're definitely right to keep loving those you still have and remembering the blessings your loved one brought to you while they were here on earth. Thinking of you & your family today <3

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  21. so tender. love how you're inspired by her to live more. that's just the way it should be. xoxo

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  22. So heartbreaking and sweet all in one. Definitely makes you remember to appreciate the loved ones you have left here.

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  23. I lost my mom-mom a year ago in August and it has been a little harder the past few weeks as we're about to close on the sale of her house. I am sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way!

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  24. Beautiful post. I lost my grandma ten years ago. I still cry when I think about it her, I'm not sad anymore, I just miss her terribly.

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  25. What a beautiful post... Thinking of you and your family.

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  26. such a beautiful post. thank you for allowing me to cry and and heal a bit from losing my own grandmother earlier this year. praying for you and your sweet, sweet grandfather.

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  27. Beautiful post. I have teary eyes :(
    I never met any of my grandparents and I wish I could.
    Very sweet Erin.

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  28. I feel it too. My Grandma just left recently, it will be 1 year in November.

    No words really help, but feeling loved and loving more like you said is probably the best way to ease the pain and honor them.

    xoxo T

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  29. You brought back all the amazing memories of my grandparents who have all passed now. You also brought the tears streaming down my cheeks! They are such a blessing to us. Thinking of you and your family.

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  30. Missing my Grams too!
    Wonderful to have Grandmother's, what a gift!


    =)


    Brooke

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  31. So sweet. Live fuller. I like it. Missing your grandma with you ... and thinking of you today.

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  32. Erin, you have such a great way with words. This post was so heartfelt and as I was reading your words, I was feeling them. My heart ached for your grandpa. I just lost my grandpa last week. He was 95 years old and lost his love over 20 years ago. Up until the day he was put into assisted living (he was 90), he went to the cemetary twice a day EVERY SINGLE DAY : rain, snow, etc... That is the kind of love we all want isn't it? What a great example the people of their generation can share with us.

    Love harder...
    Live fuller....
    Make the day count....

    Perfect!

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  33. This made me well up - and I agree living fuller and loving harder is what life is all about. I'm glad that in a time of pain, you find the silver lining and know what your G-ma would have wanted you to remember. Celebrate her, love her, and remember her. You're off to a brilliant start! ox

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  34. As my "ma" is getting older, it's so hard not to continually think that someday she might not be here. Thank you for writing this. It give me hope that it will be okay. And that I need to do all I can now while she's still here. Thinking of you lady.

    -Amy
    http://theblankpagesblog.blogspot.com/

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  35. Her memories, love and joy live on in you and your family. That is so special that you had a remembrance dinner with your family. Know that your grandma was there too, with each and every one of you.

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  36. Ok making me cry! What a wonderful post

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  37. I am so sorry. I lost my Grandpa 3 years ago and it was the hardest time ever. I still think about him daily and miss him. Very sweet post.

    Im your newest follower

    http://www.mymakeupboxes.blogspot.com

    XOXO Tiffany

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  38. I love that you turned those tears into something positive for yourself. Be well, friend!

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  39. Your Grandma would not want you to live your life any other way than what you just described. My grandparents practically raised me and my Grandpa lost his battle with cancer in February, a month right before my husband and I's baby girl was born. I know that the pain, ache and hole in your heart will never go away but loving the people in your life with all your heart and living life to the fullest is the best thing that you can do. My thoughts and prayers are with you today.

    Xoxo,
    Dani

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  40. Ahhh such a tender post! I just lost my Grandpa so I know what you are going through.

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  41. oh Erin <3 your grandma must be so happy and proud that you are honoring her memory in such a positive way....death is such a strange thing in that, we're left here crying and grieving, but in our hearts we know that our loved one would never want for us to hurt so badly. celebrating their lives and all the love and joy they gave us is such a beautiful thing to do. hugs to you guys today!

    xo

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  42. Love ya! Thinking of you and your family today <3

    xo Brie

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  43. So sorry for your loss...I know the hurt doesn't ever go away but I'll be praying that you and your family find comfort in knowing she's in paradise :)

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  44. Such a sweet post! It's so hard to lose a grandparent you are close to! :( Thinking of you and your family today! xoxo

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  45. We should all do just that for the people we've lost! What a touching piece of writing. I'll be thinking of your family!

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  46. How touching.

    Thinking of you and your family today.

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  47. This is beautiful. Both of my grandmas are keeping each other company in heaven. I lost my Nonna last May and I can relate to what you are saying.
    How things change and how we live and see life is truly a precious gift!

    Thinking of you sweetpea!
    xoxo
    Andie's Traveling Pants

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  48. GOOD LORD!!! This was a BEFORE make up read, but was worth EVERY second of my do-over! Couldn't have been more beautifully written & your Grandma couldn't be more proud of you! THAT I know for sure! =) As much as my heart aches for you, it's also filled with SO much love that you had a Grandma so wonderful in the first place! My heart & prayers are with you & your family. Beautiful Beautiful Post. HUGE hugs to you, Honey! XO

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  49. What a great post. My grandma passed away almost 4 years ago and my grandpa just a few months ago. I know exactly what you mean when you see the hurt, sadness, and pain in your grandpa's eyes. My grandpa missed grandma so much. I cant even imagine spending your life with someone and then having to figure out how to live once they are not around. Thanks for sharing!

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)