9.04.2012

It's A Ruff Life.

Hi humans!!!
My name is Maggie.
Others call me Erin's barking cat.
Those "others" are no longer alive.
 
Anyhow, I figured I would take over mommy's blog today.
She is too busy yelling at herself for almost burning down the house by baking a frozen pizza.
She thinks she is domesticated but then she goes and does things like burning the house down by a frozen pizza. I would understand if it was homemade doggie treats in the oven but no, just a pizza.
it's not sun. it's smoke.
 
Thanks to her I keep coughing and my mom keeps saying "Maggie calm down and breathe!"
You calm down and breathe woman. I'm not the one who can't properly cook a pizza.
 
Back to me though.
Some of you may not know me.
For some reason my mom likes to keep me a secret.
Now if my name was "Wine" I'd be famous, but nope, I'm just the dog.
What my mom doesn't understand is that I keep the pounds off due to my hyper running all over the living room antics, but wine? All that does is put her to sleep. And make her hips wider.
Don't tell her I said that though please.
 
You know what I am sick of?
Being used for all of her self portraits.
Yeah right she wants a picture with me--she just wants to show off her good hair day.
Apparently on this particular day she thought her legs looked good.
I've had enough.
Next time my mom grabs me for the millionth and ten sweet mother daughter picture, I'm whipping out my tongue. We'll see how many more pictures I get roped into after that funky business.
 
On the bright side I am the reason why my mom and dad don't have any babies.
All I have to do is beg for food like so.....
And my mom gives it to me.
My daddy then gets all huffy and puffy at her and says things like "THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE DON'T HAVE CHILDREN...YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY NO TO THE FREAKIN DOG!!!"
Mommy and I then make winks at each other.
You think my momma wants to push a cantaloupe out of a lemon?
Heck to the no.
You're welcome mommy.
Now give me more food.
lets be real though--who could say no to this face?
 
I should also note that I am looking for a sugar daddy.
The only companion I have is my cousin Ellie.
My mom told me that I am not allowed to hump cousins. Or females.
I'd like to take my daddy away from my mom and see what she would start humping.
Oh shoot. My mom just told me I wasn't allowed to say that.
She is starting to sound like my dad.
 
Speaking of my daddy, I am off to go get my belly rubbed.
 
This blogging shaz is stressful.
No wonder my mom drinks.
Peace out adults.
 
 
These paws are off to get into some trouble.
Or at least into some peanut butter.
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53 comments:

  1. Aw Maggie you're so cute! And you got that funny gene from yo momma! I would probably use you for photo ops too ;) Good luck in your search for a sugar daddy. But your mom is right, humping your cousin isn't a good look!

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  2. I can't keep my own wine in my mouth when you, I mean Maggie, write things like this.

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  3. Love. I can only imagine what my dogs would "say" about me...actually, I don't want to!

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  4. Haha! This is seriously cracking me up!! You are too funny Maggie! (:

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  5. so cute!! who knew maggie was such a little blogger? ;) I think my dog Willow might be inspired!!

    Marianna
    Delightfully Dunn

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  6. Oh my goodness!!! This is hilarious. I now want a Maggie..

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  7. This might be my favorite post yet. Maggie might need her own spin off blog... and book... and mother-daughter-doggie clothing line...

    xoxo

    Jenny

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  8. Absolutely hysterical and I sooooo needed that tonight! Thanks mucho!

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  9. I think I just died. Seriously. Maggie... You are sweet, adorable, funny and hope you find your sugar daddy soon!

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  10. Ah laughing out loud from this one! Thanks for a great read :-)

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  11. Oh, geeze Erin, you are too much!! HA!

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  12. This is hilarious and adorable!! Too much cuteness for one page.

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  13. So funny. I can always count on you for that! And pushing a cantelope out of a lemon? Bahahahahahaha

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  14. Love that are daughters share the same name. Haha! Genius post friend. Genius. Xoxoxoxo

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  15. I have tears in my eyes I'm laughing so hard.

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  16. this seriously just made my night at work... i'm laughing to hard that i'm crying. Good thing i'm in only one on duty in the lab tonight hehe

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  17. can't.stop.laughing. And now I'm going to grab a glass of wine and wish I had a pup as cute as yours!

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  18. She is too cute and would make the perfect girlfriend to our Louie! I have pics of him on my blog! Itsallaboute.blogspot.com

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  19. This is hilarious! I may have to bookmark it so I can go back and read it if I am ever having a bad day. So funny!

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  20. I LOVE her!
    love her
    lover her!

    Does she do guest posts??

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  21. Could she be any cuter? I think not!!

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  22. Maggie, i'm kinda jealous of your life. SOunds a lot more entertaining than mine!

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  23. Adorable and hilarious! What a cute dog. I was totally LOLing by the humping part.

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  24. Your mommy is pretty darn funny but I think you just took the cake on this one ;)

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  25. You are one lucky doggy to have a mommy like you do! ;)

    Love this post!

    http://johced-ourjourneytoeverywhere.blogspot.com/
    xxx

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  26. You are super adorable maggie, keep blogging!

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  27. Such a cutie! I love it! If you get a sec, I'd love to hear your thoughts on my latest posts!

    peacelovedecor.com

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  28. This was hilarious. I love life as seen through dogs, especially our own dogs. I can only imagine what my mutt June thinks on a daily basis! Love it!

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  29. hahaha! Oh maggie, please hijack your mamma's blog again soon. :)

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  30. oh little miss you are so cute! hope mommy finds you a sugar daddy soon!

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  31. this was absolutely hilarious! Love it!!

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  32. Hahaha, no joke- one of my fave posts you've ever done! Maggie is freaking adorable AND my in-laws dog is named Maggie, so we are already besties! :)

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  33. I just died laughing. One of my favorite posts ever. And I can't believe you just used humping that many times in one paragraph. Ok... yes I can.

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  34. hahaha Erin, you are too funny! Your dog is absolutely adorable!

    Sara

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  35. This was amazing. Love the pups perspective and how freaking adorable is she!?

    www.livingbarefootandcrazy.blogspot.com ♥

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  36. You are hilarious and Maggie is adorable. Cotton hasn't tried to hump Taylor yet. But he is quite fond of his stuffed animals or as we like to call them his "lovers".

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  37. Oh my goodness! This is the cutest thing ever! I love your dog (and I am not a dog person). How precious. I can't wait to read more of your posts! I am a new follower.

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  38. Oh my goodness!!! HOW cute is she!!! Our dogs are the reason we don't have kids yet either! haha. They're just like or worse than actual kids... heehee

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  39. omg. hahahahahahhahahahahaha
    Dorky dog

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  40. oh my gosh!! i need that dog. What kind of dog is she? She's precious!!!

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  41. What would our days be like w/out you! Thanks so much for the laugh!!

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  42. Dying. Oh Maggie ... you are so cute and funny. Not sure where you get those funny genes because your mamma is obviously not funny at all. Not one bit.

    My favorite part was "Hi Humans!" ... which means, you could have written a one-line blog post and had me laughing.

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  43. HahahaHA! Loved this! My pooch, Chester (who writes on my blog sometimes) would like to let Miss Maggie know that he is available :-).

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  44. oh geez, i cant believe i missed this goodness. thanks so so much for linking it in today's post. hysterical. i loved it. especially this part: "Mommy and I then make winks at each other.
    You think my momma wants to push a cantaloupe out of a lemon?
    Heck to the no." lol. and i hope maggie finds her sugar daddy someday.

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)