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“Just Act Like You’re Reading A Book…” (Truths Behind A Bikini Photoshoot)

August 25, 2012

By:

Erin Schrader

Let’s talk about swimsuits for a minute shall we?
It only seems fitting since I just inhaled five pounds of macaroni and cheese, a bag of chips with guacamole, and one plus one too many margaritas. No but seriously.
you know it’s good food when the sun can’t even take it’s eyes off of it….
 
I’m thinking if I talk about being in a bikini my stomach will remember it needs to forget about everything it just ate. Or something like that.
K, back to swimsuits though.
You know there is a difference between cheap $9 swimsuits and high quality (however still reasonably priced) swimsuits don’t you? I didn’t. Until now. Cue Swimspot. Only the BEST website for women’s swimwear ever. Ever ever.
 
You see, I’ve always been a clearance girl through and through.
Finding a $3 top and a $4 bottom, shoot I thought I struck gold.
That is until I realized that the top only covered a quarter of what it was supposed to and the bottom made my butt look like it had the same elasticity of an eighty year old woman.
What I’m getting at is it’s not a good look.
 
However. Recently I truly did strike gold. We’re talking my ladies actually stay in place (goooooood-bye awkward side boob) and my butt, well it actually looks like a butt.
Who knew swimwear was meant to show off your ass(et)s and not make a mockery out of them?
 
Anyhow, once I realized “hey–you have a swimsuit that fits!!” I figured I should take pictures in it.
Because that’s what any humble blogger who cares about her bloggers body parts would do.
So I did just that. And it went a little something like this:
 
Me: “Uhhh. So I thought I should take pictures of me in this suit to post on my blog. Is that weird?”
Husband, Friends, Husbands of friends: “Yes. Yes it would be weird.”
Me: “Perfect. Let’s do it.”
 
Five minutes later.
 
Me: “Posing in a swimsuit is so weird. Like posing in clothing is bad enough..but this. This is bad. What do I do to look normal?”
Friend: “Here. Act like you’re reading a book!”
 
Me: “Okay that was fun!! I like acting like I read books! What else could I act like I like to do in a swimsuit?!”
Friend: “Oh I know! Jump up and down!”
Me: “Oh my gosh. Jumping off the diving board scares me. I can’t get water up my nose!”
Friend: “No, no. You aren’t actually going to jump off. You will just act like you are…”
Me: “Right. Acting. I’m good at this…”
 
Me: “Yeah I don’t know about pictures of me standing up in a bikini.”
Friend: “You’re right. Lay down. Everybody always looks better laying down…”
 
Me: “Maybe like we should just do my head?”
Friend: “Good idea. Just stick with your head.”
 
Moral of the story: My swimsuit rocks. My swimsuit modeling skills do not.
 
However, I thought it would only be right of me to allow YOU to have the opportunity to have your own bathing suit photo shoot. To do so, you are going to need a suit.
I’m thinking $50 is a good start to this process.
 
That’s right. Swimspot is giving one of you a chance to win $50 bucks to their fabulous inventory. My favorite part of the whole site?
They have VIDEOS of REAL women modeling the suits.
No reading books, no jumping up and down, just simple walk and turn videos.
No I didn’t spend three hours just watching the videos, what are you talking about?
Okay, you’re right. I did.
Not only that–they have LIVE Fit Specialists that you can call up and have them help you out.
You know to ensure that your assets don’t get mistaken for liabilities.
I’m telling you–Swimspot is the Tiffany’s of swimwear.
 
Here’s how to enter friends.
 
Mandatory:
Visit Swimspot and tell me one swimsuit you would buy.
 
Additional Entries:
Like Swimspot on Facebook
Follow Swimspot on Twitter
Share this giveaway via any form of social media
 
ps. If anybody wants to purchase this and send it my way, I wouldn’t be mad.

 
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