If You Really Knew Me...

Well well, we meet again.
So I had this extravagant {clearly a lie} blog post planned for today but then this happened:
Babysitting and bread sticks for dinner.
If those two things don't cramp your blog post writing style, I don't know what would.
We are going to ignore the fact that it just took me twenty minutes to get the little thing changed into her pajamas or that I have spit up running down my arm at the current moment at just go with it. 
Hey, I think I just got a new book idea: "How to Blog with a Baby" 
It's going to be one page long complete with one word: "DON'T!"
Back to those bread sticks though. They are the ONLY thing in my parent's house to eat right now. Well, besides some of my sister's breast milk that I saw hanging out in the refrigerator. I hope it's kosher that I just wrote about my sister's breast milk. Is that weird? I don't know these things....I don't milk anything. 
I could keep going on about how just recently my dad was holding said baby and she happened to spit up directly IN his mouth {please remember what the baby is drinking..hint: his daughter's breast milk} but I won't go into all of that right now. I mean can you imagine if I would tell the whole world my father had his own daughters breast milk in his mouth?! Yikes. You are welcome I wouldn't think of such a thing father. Love you.
Guess what. The baby just fell asleep. God bless you baby.
I just remembered I didn't even say what I was planning to about the bread sticks: they taste like grass for some odd reason. I hate grassy bread sticks. Which leads me to my next point...
I am sure all of you have seen these "If you really knew me..." posts all over blog land. I decided it's time for mine. If you are the one who originated this please tell me. I'd love to pay you proper blogger tribute but I haven't a clue. 
Uh oh, baby is awake and pulling my shirt down.
Silly baby.
At what age do children learn that not every woman is producing milk?
Girls: 2.
Boys: Never. 
You know what--I gotta go. She is glaring at me. 
Baby no like blogging. 
Let's save this "if you really knew me" shaz for tomorrow shall we?
Baby says yes.
Thanks for the breast milk talk today, it was fun.
Or at least disturbing...
"Gaaaa goooo aahh"
That was the baby saying bye.
Peace out mother lovers.
That was me saying bye.
{if we both look afraid it's because we are}



  1. Haha that books sounds genius. I'd buy it. Especially since I have 2 babies.

    - Sarah

  2. This is hilarious, this is how my brain works, so it was even funnier to read coming from someone else's brain.

    happy babysitting!

  3. Oh my gosh... this is hilarious!

  4. Hilarious Erin!! Your pour dad...

  5. Book idea = story of my life. Ha. Blogging and babes don't mix. Sad truth. And the story u didn't just tell me about.... Made me throw up in my mouth. Gah! :)

  6. You know a normal human would just blog about how gross it would be for a baby to spit up directly into your mouth. But you of course need to take it to another level and add in the daughter's breast milk and dad's mouth bit. Puke. Or at least I want to now.

    Girls: 2
    Boys: never

  7. You are too fucking hilarious! About six years ago when my nephew was around a year old I had him up playing airplane while i laid on the couch and how did he thank me for all the fun? he puked his baby carrot food straight into my mouth. absolutely repulsive.

  8. If it makes you feel better, my little girl enjoyed the picture of the baby...as she stood by my computer clearly filling up her diaper.

  9. hahahah love this. and ew - the breast milk though, your poor dad. spare him the humiliation

  10. my son peed on me today. it's pretty much a normal occurrence in motherhood. just warning you.

  11. Girls: 2
    Boys: never

    Quite possibly the most profound thing ever said about gender relations.

  12. I love the picture, it is the perfect addition to this post :)

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  14. You had me laughing the whole time!

    I found your blog thru Life's a Dance and I'm so glad I did.

    I'm learning a lot from you, and learning to love you!

    Thanks so much! I enjoyed my stay and I'll be coming back!

  15. Hahah looks like you had a eventful and busy Sunday! She is adorable!

  16. haha you both look TERRIFIED! Thanks for the breast milk talk. Looking forward to tomorrow.

  17. You should really write a book! That's how funny you are! But seriously now, start it!

  18. Babies + Blogging = DON'T

    Duly noted. :-)

    Also, the original blogger of the "If You Really Knew Me" post was Al from Traffic Jelly:


  19. LOL,the final picture really made the post!

  20. I still remember the day my brother came down to meet my new baby girl and fed her, then when he found out he was holding a bottle of his sister's breast milk the look of horror on his face was priceless!

  21. LOL Love that last photo. Its a total "I'm not ready for my close up shot!"

  22. This post made me bust out laughing... in the library. no bueno. but seriously, that last picture killed me. note to myself, save your posts for when i get home hahaha

  23. Awesome. As a mommy and a blogger I can TOTALLY appreciate this. I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old - so its a wonder I write anything... ever... so kudos to me for blogging with baby(ies) ...NOT EASY! and kudos to you for recognizing that blogs and babies don't mix lol

    here is a reality check post i did back in april of what blogging looks like in my head vs reality: http://flowercityfashionista.blogspot.com/2012/04/reality-check.html

    this is the longest comment ever...

    peace out brussel spout


  24. Those faces! Priceless! I'm good with kids, but I'm not ready to juggle them and extra curricular activities!!


I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)