Dear Diary,

Hi Diary. It’s me again, your owner Erin.
You may remember me as Mariah or Jasmine.

I figured it’s been a few weeks since I last spoke to you last and I was starting to miss you.
You know what I miss even more though?
Late nights under the covers scribbling all of my dirty little secrets in you.
You sure were a good secret holder.
Were being the main word in that sentence.
I’ll never forget the day that my guy friends found you in 8th grade and nearly died from laughing so hard at all of my love banter.
Boys will never understand how serious 2nd grade love is diary, don’t take it personal.
Looking back, I should just be thankful I had friends who were boys.
Do we need to remind ourselves of how I looked back then?
Diary, I just posted that picture for the whole world to see.
Sometimes my brain doesn't think logically.
You would think a small part of it would say "No. There is NO way you are putting that online."
But nope, it says "the more ridiculous the better".
I miss my old haircut.
I also miss my face being the same shade as kitchen cabinets.

Back to my friends finding you though diary.
I am pretty sure they found you around the same time I got grounded for the first time ever.
It was something about my mom walking up to our computer screen and seeing the screen saver scroll over and over with the words “Erin Haarer sucks hard nuts” What she didn’t know diary was that my friends wrote that AND it was in reference to me eating CASHEWS at a Chinese restaurant. Why she thought it meant anything but is beyond me!
I was only in 8th grade diary!!! 
You saw what I looked like. There is no was possible my mom thought that THAT kind of activity was happening with those bangs, I mean lets be real.

Come to think of it, I still don’t know any other meanings to the words “sucks hard nuts” besides eating cashews at a local Chinese restaurant.
Some people have such dirty minds diary.
We call those people immature.
And you know what we say to those people when they ask us where the nearest Chinese restaurant is? Bend over and I’ll show ya. Well, at least that’s what us mature people say to such questions.

Moving forward diary…I’m mad at Eve right now.
Because of her I am sitting here using a heating pad on my lap.
I mean really, how hard is it to not eat a freaking apple?! An apple I tell you!
Of course if macaroni and cheese was growing in that garden, sure I would understand why she caved to the temptation.
But an apple? No excuses.
Speaking of macaroni and cheese diary, I should’ve told you last time—I blog for free gifts.
I know some people say “Oh it’s just the self satisfaction knowing I am doing something that I truly enjoy..blah blah blah” but me? It’s all because of the freebies. Say for instance this kick ace shirt I just got in the mail from a beloved reader.
That diary is what makes blogging ALL worth it.

I can’t remember if there is anything else I needed to talk you about today.
I think I pinched a nerve or something in my neck writing this.
Icy hot, I am coming for you.
Why can’t we stay twelve forever diary?

Til next time….




  1. i can't even. erin. that picture. i can't.

  2. You know, the way you mash those paragraphs together in one cohesive manner is truly a talent my fellow Erin friend. Write a chapter about that in this book.

    P.S. I quite unsure as to why that bowl cut didn't bring them boyz to your yard. Completely unsure.

  3. That shirt is amazing!! As for the bangs... that's another comment for another day. ;)

  4. I loved your comment about your face matching the cabinets. Seriously. Loved everything about this post haha

  5. you, my friend, are adorable! haha this made my night.

  6. HaHa adorable post. It was hilarious. And I am agreeing with the whole hating eve thing right now. I have found a bowl of butter cream ice cream makes it a little better.

  7. I have an "I <3 Mac and Cheese" shirt. Just saying ;)
    Loved it, doll - well, everything but the bangs, but you earned points in my book for pressing "publish" ;)


  8. Thank you so much for posting that picture. I looked like one of the Hanson brothers around that age. To this day, I still can't wear my hair down b/c of it.

  9. Holy cow! this is why i love you! You have the best posts EVER... :) thanks for the smile!!!

  10. With that hair... you could be my sister :) Definitely rocked the "mushroom do" bowl cut. curled under with an impossibly HUGE curling iron... absolute perfection :)

  11. Oh those types of pictures! You just proved that there's no shame in the game, baby! Love it!

  12. That first picture. It might just become my new profile photo. It's too good.

  13. hahahh that. picture. is amazing. It should be the focal photo in the "About the Author" section of your book!!

  14. Also, wearing your hair as an equilateral triangle takes some serious skills. I think we need a hair tutorial soon!!

  15. Erin! The hairdoo!!!

    Epic blog content.


  16. so the only part i don't understand is the mariah or jasmine part- what's that about?
    adorable post! love the t-shirt too!

  17. whahaha! I like the name Jasmine, reminds me of the princess in Aladdin! One of my favorite Disney movies!


  18. You make my day. So funny...I love that you are mad at Eve...I get mad at her too! haha. Have a good day!

  19. Okay, so I just came THIS clsoe to spitting out my coffee when you mentioned your face being the same shade as your kitchen cabinets.

    Living in Yellow is the BEST way to start the day!

  20. I think we all had that hair cut at some point in our lives. I had it when I was about 8. HORRID!

    Anyway Icy hot aint got nothing on biofreeze! See if ya can get your paws on that and thank me!

  21. My stomach hurts from laughing. At you. That picture is too much, my friend. I never had that haircut but I did have those awesome Kelly Kapowsky flipover bangs that were held up by an entire container of AquaNet hairspray. Ahhh, I miss the 90s. No that's a lie.

    I think you need to come back to Chicago so we can have another playdate.

  22. That is awesome!! Made for a good chuckle.speaking of chuckle... Chuck I know your reading this!



  23. Oh my gosh, that haircut. Oh Erin. haha. Now I want mac and cheese. Thanks for that!

  24. 1. I love these posts
    2. I love that picture.
    3. I love that shirt.
    Also, 4. Yeah, what gives, Eve? Those "pangs of childbirth" aren't much fun either.

  25. stop it. oh my god. no words. none.

  26. oh my word. I seriously have to copy my "this hive" friend there and say the same exact thing. no words. Oh except that you are awesome. And that picture is just killing me. LOVE you. Ok, so I had a few words.

  27. Absolutely.Priceless. This is why I love you! Damn those mean boys. Haha.

  28. ermhagerd. that picture. you should be a meme

  29. 1. I love these posts
    2. I love that picture.
    3. I love that shirt.
    Also, 4. Yeah, what gives, Eve? Those "pangs of childbirth" aren't much fun either.


  30. I'm sorry but that picture calls for an "LMFAO". legitimately. words don't even being to describe the forces attracting your hair to the left and right of your head..love!!!

  31. HA! Your face being the same shade as the cabinets. Freakin hilarious. Loved this post.


I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)