If I Had Kids I Would Never Pee.

Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces baby Jesus,
Thank you for finallllly thinking it was a good idea to deem this day as Friday.
Enough with this Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday shaz.
I am so excited I could pee my pants.
No literally, I really have to pee right now.
Be right back.

Okay we’re good now.
I don’t know why I thought of this just now, but the other week when I was babysitting I was minding my own in their restroom releasing the six glasses of wine I had just consumed {what? I was babysitting…can you blame me?} when that little three year old waltzed right in and said
Goodness mothers.
All I have to say is that I feel for you and your half empty bladders.

Moving on—it’s been a good week folks.
Way good at that.
Anytime you mix two live country concerts, a giant elephant ear, the season finale of the Bachelorette, a mow job {yes I just said mow job and yes I meant mow job} and your best friend home from Nashville, you are only setting yourself up for success.
As a drugged out Charlie Sheen circa 2011 would say “winning”.
Good times with that little Nashvillian I tell you what.

Oh hey real quick—if you are stopping over from Eat Yourself Skinny—Holllleeeerrr.
Welcome to my blog “Eat Yourself Fat”.
It’s true. I talk about macaroni and cheese around these parts like it’s goin’ out of style.
Hey, it’s not my fault Kraft had to go and invent the stuff.
Nor is it my fault that I find it necessary to inhale it three times a week.

K, well one last thing and then I swear I will shut up for the day.
I just want to talk briefly about somebody who is near and dear to me and I want you all to go meet.
You have probably heard of her before because she is pretty famous in blogland, but if not—allow me to introduce you to Laura over at Our Reflection.
Laura has grown her blog significantly over the last year and I blame it on nothing but tons of hard work and genuine relationships. She is a mother by day and blogger/photographer/social media guru by evening.
Do yourself a favor and go pay Laura a visit. Oh and hey—while you are over there you may notice a giveaway where you can win some free ad space from moi ;)
Cheers for new friends. Can I get an amen? Amen.

Wait. One final thing.
Thanks to everybody and their mother who linked up yesterday.
I will be making my way to your blogs as soon as I get some free time.
So probably somewhere around 2016 ;)
I’ll be there sometime soon…but for now, I’ve got a major date planned with just me and my bed.
It’s about to get full of sleep up in herrrrrr.

Happy Weekend Lovers.




  1. i want your friend's boots. desperately.

  2. "welcome to my blog...eat yourself fat" is the best thing I have read all day. thank you :).

  3. You two are so cute! Looks like you had a great time :) I think of you every time I wear my black and white stripey skirt! Three cheers for Target ;) xo! eliza

  4. I want to be your friend. desperately.

    did that just get weird?!... sorry about that.

  5. 2 Words: Baby Gate. (on the bathroom that is?)

    And if you notice, you match the booth your sitting in. And am I the only one that noticed.. guess i'm just weird like that!

  6. I love that maxi skirt! I cried on the inside when I saw the last one on the clearance rack at Target in an XL...boo.

  7. Do you mean half empty bladders?

    A half empty uterus would mean the baby is half....never mind. That's gross to think of.

    Also, I used to be a private person. I wouldn't even put deodorant on in front of the husband.

    Now we have an open door policy in the bathroom. I got tired of listening to Aislynn scream and bang on the door, so when I'm doing my biz, she's just hanging out in the bathroom with me. Weird? Oh, probably.

    1. It was when my youngest was two and hubby and I went away on a cruise that I realized I could shut the door to go to the bathroom and the world would not fall apart. That was 11 years of never having privacy. It can make the difference in that thing called sanity.

  8. you're hysterical! i literally just LOLed at "eat yourself fat"

  9. I love your maxi dress. Is it from Target?

  10. Yes going to the bathroom is more challenging as a mother, I can't go to the bathroom without my daughter instantly needing to talk to me. Really before I came in here you had nothing to say but now you desperately need to speak to me. Sometimes I can get her to leave sometimes I'm forced to have a conversation.

  11. Peeing and sleep have consistently been disturbed these last 6 years, but mostly it's worth it. :)

  12. love how you matched that restaurant's booth. you planned it i'm sure. looks like lots of fun you had!


  13. Too funny! When I was a nanny & we would come home from the beach, there was always a little set of eyes trying to watch me thru the frosted glass (thank goodness) of the shower door! lol!
    But Girl! 6 glasses of wine while babysitting a 3yr old? Did you drive home, or were you at home w/your hubby? I figured you were expecting at least one reader to call you out on that one... ;) haha

    1. Haha girl I was being sarcastic when i said six glasses of wine..do not worry :)

  14. I think I cried reading this entry--you kill me with your blog post! Love the humor and honestly! Keep writing!



  15. I am a mom and all I do is pee because of all the coffee and wine I need to sustain myself daily. Happy weekend, Miss E.

  16. I want your skirt and her boots! Gorgeous photos.

  17. I've got that maxi skirt from Target in the blue/white stripes- LOVE IT! Sooo freaking comfy!

    Enjoy your weekend. I'm looking forward to putting a butt imprint into the couch bc I don't plan on moving for abotu 24 hours!

  18. Love your skirt, and I'm so glad you had a great time with your friend in town!


  19. Love your blog and I am now a follower!! Would love if you would follow my blog :) - http://aspoonfulofhealthy.blogspot.ca

  20. First - YOU MATCH THE SOFA!!!!!!! :)
    Second - I am so so so glad to read that you had some wonderful joy to marinate in this week <3 baby Jesus knows you needed it!


  21. Well aren't you girls stylish! Loving both outfits!!! And I get that... my niece and nephew just can't leave you alone in the bathroom!!!! Sheesh!

  22. You are too funny lady! I never fail to howl with laughter on here! Happy Friday to you! And enjoy peeing in privacy while you still can :)

  23. I had a little encounter last night with babysitting and moonshine...verrry interesting!

  24. Those pictures are so fun and I just love Laura's blog!!

  25. I love that you did a photo shoot with your bff and I really love that you match your skirt to that booth, how rockstar is that?!

    Happy Friday!

  26. Gosh I cannot get enough of your blog! You are so hilarious and your wardrobe is to diiiie for! I entered the giveaway on Laura's blog in hopes of winning an ad space with LIY! :)

  27. Looks like you ladies had a lovely visit! I have friend coming to visit next week, and I am ecstatic!

  28. This post really made me miss living in Nashville!! Glad you had so much fun!! :) Which concerts did you go to?!

  29. Hello!

    I just found your blog and I LOVE it! so down to earth and hilarious! I'm a new blogger and I'm so happy to find such great blogs! thanks so much!

    Joanna from jofindsjoy.blogspot.com

  30. Your blog has me giggling to the point where I almost under stand why it's called living in yellow! Because we all laugh so hard that we pee our britches! Your "Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces baby Jesus" had me rolling.

    Enough of me gonig on and on about your blogs giggly greatness!

    Amy @ herecomesthebelle.blogspot.com

  31. cute photo shoot! i'll have to do that with my best friend sometime.

  32. phew! i'm sure sometimes you want that many babysitting, i know i sure did! ;)


I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)