7.19.2012

Honest Talk.

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Pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable, and let’s talk.
Actually, allow me to talk. Prepare to listen. Or read. Or whatever you do when you look at my blog.
So yeah—keep drinking or going to the bathroom.

Side note—if you are going to the bathroom while you read my blog…never mind. I don’t want to think about that anymore.

Anyhow—I feel that it’s time for a good ole fashion post of honesty.
I know that I show up to this blog 99% of the time with the goal to make you laugh, whether that be by making fun of myself, or making fun of you {pysch. I would never make fun of you. Unless you are going to the bathroom right now…in which case I am totally calling you out}. But today I just want to be open and honest with how I am really feeling.


This week has been a hard week.
Life has been happening. And it hasn’t been all good.
Now before I go on much further, I should reiterate something—I am filled with joy and I thank the good Lord above that regardless of how much stress and/or hurt I feel, I still have a lingering joy just hanging out in my bones. But with that being said, I have felt stressed with a capital S this week.
Stress that has caused me to have a constant stomach for 5 days straight.
Which really has been great for weight loss, but other than that—not good at all.
Sunday evening my mother-in-law's boyfriend of 5+ years passed away from complications of a motorcycle accident. And while we were not super close, it affects me. And it affects the lives of people around me.

Death is such a weird thing. We went to dinner with her last night, and the whole time I just kept having to remind myself while we sat there and talked “he is no longer living…he will no longer be at our holiday/birthday celebrations…he really is no longer around.” And it makes me sad.
On top of that, there are other things happening around me that are taking a toll on me mentally and emotionally. I do not think it is my responsibility to discuss details on this blog so I am not going to say much more. But it’s hard. And I don’t think there has been a day in the last week that I haven’t cried at least a little bit.
So that’s where I’m at right now and how I am feeling.
Stressed. Emotional. Stomach ached out. And somehow still joyful.
It is in times like these where I am reminded of this lesson over and over again...
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This week from the outside you would think everything is great—but inside is a different story.
I have a feeling it is like that for a lot of people more times than you would think—so just remember that important lesson above.
Thank you for allowing me to just sit back and talk today. It feels good. And I like good.
Have yourself a happy weekend kids.
We’re off to partake in viewings, funerals, and a big ole party afterwards….just the way he would want it.
Love you all.  
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61 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. so sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time :( sending sunshine your way!

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  3. you are a supermodel, because of your heart and how you share it with others. thanks so much.

    -Amy
    http://theblankpagesblog.blogspot.com/

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  4. I'm so sorry for the loss of your MIL's boyfriend. That is definitely tough stuff. Thinking about you and your family!

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  5. A loss is always tough, sorry to hear about it! Saying a prayer for you and your family :)

    -Erin
    cestlamylife.blogspot.com

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  6. Erin. Thank you for being honest with us about what is going in your life. I can understand how things look great on the outside but we all have our inner struggles and our real life stuff. Praying for your family and your loss. If you need anything, know that many of us are here for you and you are in our thoughts and prayers! :)

    Keep your chin up.

    Melissa from Grin and Barrett

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  7. Sending prayers and thoughts your way.

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  8. So sorry to hear about your loss. Praying for you this weekend.

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  9. Praying for you sweet Erin. Death sucks. Period.

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  10. So sorry sad things are happening. You are so right...there are times I'm sure work friends would have said I live a charmed life. But, of course, no one does. During my most stressful times there was someone I love who I worried for and ached for. I think I only shared what was going on with one person in a completely confidential manner. It was someone who was able to offer tangible support to allow me to be able to go "be there" for my person. But, no one else knew what I was going through. And once the storm passed I was more me.
    And, like you, even when I was sick with worry, I knew true joy. It got me through. And I also had faith that God would bring us through the trial. And He did. And I'm more blessed than I could have imagined. Thx for being real.

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  11. Sorry to hear that. Keep trusting God and giving the stress to Him. He can handle it!

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  12. So sorry for the sad news, Erin. My thoughts an prayers are with you and your family. You're right... on the outside things may seem find. Heck, someone might even seem happy... but sometimes you have to fake the funk on the outside just to not have the emotional breakdown on the inside come out. Eventually you'll need to break down... it's part of the emotional process but you'll know when you're ready to do so. Thinking of you...

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  13. I love your honesty and that you shared your heart with us. I really liked that you said even when you've had such a tough week that you have a lingering joy. I'll definitely send lots of prayers your way!

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  14. So sorry you are going through a difficult time. Sending prayers your way. **HUGS***

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  15. Sometimes you need to get that stuff out. Even if it feels weird to do in "blog land". What happens then is truly amazing.You have people from all different places thinking of you and your family, and supporting you with their loving thoughts and prayers. It's an amazing thing!

    I'm sorry for the hurt that is in you and your fam's lives right now. But time will help heal the pain, and not to get too religious on you, this life is just our temporary home. It's not goodbye forever just see you in a while!

    Ashley

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  16. It's ok to admit you are having a tough time. No one has a perfect life :-) and that's what I love about psalms. David cries out to God angry and sad, scared, depressed, and joyful all rolled up in one! It really helps me at times like these. Hold on dear, God has got ya in His arms.
    And amen to the fact every one has some issue they are dealing with. Sometimes I get caught up on fb because every one is only showing the good sides of their life when in reality there are some big issues behind closed doors.
    Love ya and keep your head high!
    P.s. peppermint tea is good for upset tummies. ;-)

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  17. I am so sorry to hear about all of this Erin. You are in my prayers and hoping that God sends you some sunshine. I've been very beaten down the last few weeks and I kind of felt like the only one in the world with problems, not that I enjoy your problems one bit, but sometimes it is nice to know that you're not alone in a hard battle. Praying for you sweet, sweet girl!

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  18. Thanks for sharing, Erin. Death is such a hard thing. No matter who it is. I have found it's even harder when it affects the one's you care about most. Just seeing the pain it causes them. Heartbreaking. I've had to deal with it recently too, and it's never easy. Never. And it's so surreal. Wishing you peace of mind and the desire to eat again, Amy

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  19. I like this. I think if more bloggers were more honest, as in REAL, people would be most open and they could relate more. I think that is what makes people like you successful....people need to feel like they can RELATE.

    I WILL say a little prayer for you tonight that all this stress with a capitol S gets the shit kicked outta them.

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  20. Thanks for sharing, Erin...it speaks volumes to the kind of person you are that, though you weren't especially close to your MIL's BF, you are hurting, in pain, and sad because those you love are hurting, in pain, and sad.

    I attended a funeral once for a friend who died too young by his own hands. His brother spoke the same quote you shared...."Be kind,for everyone you meet is involved in their own cosmic struggle" were his exact words. It is now a daily mantra.

    Sending sunshine and hugs your way.
    xoxo

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  21. So sorry for your loss, girl. Thinking of you.

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  22. That is my all-time favorite quote and it is on my blog as well, and it should be on everyone's blog. This right here ... this is why I love ya. You are honest and real and you know what, life can be stressful and hard and it can just suck sometimes. And then the next day it is amazing and wonderful and hilarious. I hope it gets to the amazing and wonderful and hilarious part again real quick for ya. Thinking of you!

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  23. I kept you an your family in my prayers tonight. God will carry all of you through it, even when it feels like you're all just overcome with negativity and sadness. Chin up and continue trekking through as the strong woman you are.

    xx
    Elise

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  24. I've jsut started following your blog but I still want to give you a big hug. I lost my father in law a little over 6 months ago and I understand those feelings...again...BIG HUGE HUGS!!

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  25. Hi Erin, so sorry about your week and all the stress you are feeling. I love the quote you posted, how true that we are all going through our own stresses and how AMAZING that we can support each other, right? Blogging is so great for that reason. I hope you feel the love!
    You are awesome!
    xo

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  26. thank you for being honest. we love you!

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  27. So sorry to hear of your hard time but I am happy to hear of the joy the big ole guy upstairs has provided you, what a wonderful gift that is. You and your family will be in my prayers!

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  28. Good luck! Seems like you had a rough past week! Here is a big hug for you! {*HUG*} Hope this makes you feel a little bit better!

    xxx

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  29. Praying for y'all. Sending hugs your way. Keep your chin up!

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  30. Thanks for being so open and honest! Good luck with everything.

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  31. I want to start of by saying, OH my I agree. I really like the stressed sign, I feel like it could be my mantra. It's not always easy, but I always try to remind myself that I'm "Too blessed to be stressed", and you are too! Things have a way of working out, so keep your chin up!

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  32. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry...what a terrible week, and yet, you're using it to encourage a lesson. Thank you! You've a beautiful soul, girl.

    I remember driving home a few years back after a doctor's appointment during which I'd learned I'd miscarried. Apparently I was driving too slow, because a man screeched out from behind me, caught up to me (on the highway) and flipped me off. I remember actually feeling sad for him, too, because I thought "Even though he's mad, he'd probably never have done that if he knew what kind of day I'm having." So that quote is right-on and something we all should remember.

    Sending much love. xo

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  33. so sorry to hear about your loss...sending love to you and your family!

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  34. I understand the stress and the weird feelings related to grief. I just lost my mom and there are lots of feelings involved :-( Keeping you in my thoughts.

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  35. Sending Hugs and Prayers your way! Stay Strong!

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  36. Sorry to hear about your family's loss and to put it bluntly...that plain sucks!!

    Also, you shouldn't apologize for being real. It's your life and your blog. I appreciate your honesty that you want to make your followers laugh and be entertained; however, I can say personally that I appreciate the "rawness" as well. We are human!! Keep your chin up!

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  37. So sorry to hear what you and your famil are going through. I'll keep everyone affected in my prayers, as I know too well how trying and draining these coming days will probably be on everyone.

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  38. Praying and sending a HUGE two-armed spin-around hug your way.

    :)

    XOXOX
    Sarai

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  39. I am sorry for your loss, sweet girl. and also, I am sorry that you are feeling bummed this week, if you need anything let me know .. have a good weekend!

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  40. I'm so sorry!! Thoughts are with you.

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  41. This makes me sad for you and your family and your tummy. I hope this weekend is exactly what you need to turn your frown upside down.

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  42. Erin, I appreciate your honesty - and how you express it! I love reading your posts, and this one was just as great as the funny ones. The joy that you have in your heart & bones is awesome, and I hope that you are able to shine that light on your mom and family, especially this weekend. And in another year. Chin up, buttercup! And thank you for your encouragement! James 1:2-4 may be a nice little reminder too ;) (it was our scripture this week)

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  43. Sorry to hear that things are so rough these days. Hoping you'll find some happiness through it all-- things seem to happen that way sometimes. Sending good thoughts your way.

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  44. i'm glad you got this out. i hope you felt just a little better talking about it and letting the stress get some air. it's true, you do always come off so upbeat and happy and positive and like nothing in this world could ever get you down but that's not HUMAN, and you have to know that we're here sharing your life and reading your words becasue we are drawn to YOU, the good, the bad, the funny, the sad (now i'm rhyming....help us all.)

    death really is a strange thing. whenever someone close to me passes away, i struggle with the exact same thing you mentioned. it just doesn't seem real. i'm sorry you're going through this, struggling. i wish there was more i could say to make it better....but while i am totally inspired by your amazing ability to put on a brave and happy face, just please make sure you let off the steam every now and then and get real or else it's just too much for your sweet soul to carry.

    xo

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  45. Im so sorry you are going through a hard time. Just know that this to shall pass and god only gives us what we can handle. I hope for a better week for you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers :)

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  46. Thinking of you, E! What a great outlook to stay positive even in the face of sadness. You can do it. And I am always reminded of that life lesson you posted :) Love you, doll! xoxo

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  47. I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. Thinking about you and your father during this time.

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  48. I just want you to know that the way you write is very captivating. You draw people in and I think that's a wonderful quality. You have SO much love and support through this blog. We are all thinking of you and praying for you during this stressful and painful time.

    xo

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  49. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your heart lady <3 I'm so sorry for all the tough stuff that you're walking through right now. Praying for you and your loved ones! xx

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  50. Erin- I'll be praying for you and your family during this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for whatever the other stresses you are that you are dealing with. Praying that God will bring you peace. Sending love and hugs to you!

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  51. I'm so sorry to hear about all that is going on! I admire that you are still able to find joy even in hard times. I will be praying for you and your family!

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  52. Thanks for your honesty, friend.

    I'm really terrible at the comforting words thing, I'm much better at the making you laugh thing. So all I will say, before I say something wrong and offensive, is that I'm thinking and praying for you.

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  53. We are ALWAYS here to listen to you! I'm so sorry that you are having to go through so much this week, but I hope that you find some balance and solace soon. {{HUGS}}

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  54. You have the sweetest heart Erin. I am so sorry to hear about your loss but thank you for sharing with all of us. I think honesty is the best policy and you always stand by that too. Just know, we're all here for YOU. In anyway we can.

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  55. oh I wish I could give you a big fat hug!

    Many many hugs,dear. I hope you're feeling better.

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  56. I'm so sorry things are tough right now, but thanks for sharing. I hope the week is off to a good start. :)

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)