Dear Giuliana {and baby to be},

I figured the least creepy thing I could do to congratulate you on this amazeballs baby news is to write an entire blog post dedicated to you and you only.
It only seemed logical.

I guess I should start by saying congratulations.
I may or may not have done the running man dance in my bedroom {pant less} for a solid five minutes exclaiming "WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!!" to my husband.
This may or may not have resulted in a divorce.
Either way, I am freakin' excited for you and that little nugget.

There is also a good chance I tweeted something about how I am becoming an aunt again.

On that same token, while I think it is great you had a surrogate mother, I am a little offended you did not choose me to carry the child. I mean sure, I am planning on adopting our own children, but shoot--you knew I would've gladly carried that little bambino in my belly.
I wouldn't have even had a sip of pop.
Only wine.
You are from Italy and know darn well a girl needs her wine every now and again.
Don't judge.
Plus wine makes everybody happy. You don't want that little bundle of joy coming out grumpy do you?
On that same note, I recently read on your site, FabFitFun, that organic wine is all the rage these days.
And I know you want that baby as organic as possible.
{No, you will not be receiving a bill in the mail for that mention to FabFitFun. Just a shameless plug.
You can thank me later..}

Anyhow-you and I both know we have a lot ahead of us with this baby to be.
Obviously, we need to go shopping.
Now..as you may not know yet, I am not allowed to shop for sixty days.
However, gifts are acceptable to purchase.
This would really work to my favor if that baby of yours is planning on coming out a girl/5'4/and around 110 pounds give or take. I also hope you are down with your baby being dressed in clothing from Forever 21.
Not that I plan on keeping all of these "gifts" for myself, but just hypothetically speaking.

Aside from all of the massive shopping trips we will be partaking in, we obviously will need to have a baby shower or two.
Or ten depending on how showered you want to get with it.
I have started the planning already so you do not need to fret.
I know you are used to glamorous things so I will make no exception.
I'm thinking mac and cheese, laffy taffy, and carbonated water for the menu.
Dress code?
Snuggie formal.
Only the best for you G.

Now listen.
I know you have a lot on your plate right now and it can be a little hard juggling your career/marriage/momma hood/and being best friends with me, but just take it easy.

You know what they say. Enjoy your sleep now because it's going to be gone here soon.

Which is why you should hire me to be your nanny.
Shoot. Was that too much?

Regardless, congratulations times a million. I am so excited for you and hot pants Bill.
I just made that name up for him last night.
He told me he didn't mind.
I would never make dirty jokes about your husband.
Live on a blog post that is.

Can't wait to meet this little baby live and in person. And by live and in person, I mean in the delivery room with you and Bill. Hey, I'm down with it as long as your baby momma is down.
You can get back to me on that though. We have a few months. And several showers to get through.

Love you girl.

PS. Loved the outfit choice for the big baby reveal.
You are one hot mother. No pun intended.

PPS. I really hope you {yes you G} actually read this. If not, I am going to look like the biggest creep alive.
Oh wait.




  1. Wow! That is some G love for sure! I think she is so funny so happy for them.


  2. I can't see your pictures! Oh darn, I love this post- you are always good at making me laugh!!

  3. Haha this is way too funny. I really hope she reads this and sees how great and funny you are!

  4. haha i love reading your posts. They crack me up!

  5. OMG you crack me up!! I hope G does get back to you!!
    ps in regards to the no shopping to 60 days, I think Hubby is cra-cra!! he should have bought that dress for you!! If I remember correctly it was 12$!!! seriously?! if it was 30 or more I would see the problem! men! go figure!

  6. Got chills when i heard the news this morning - and this post made me laugh out loud! Did you cry when they showed the preview of tomorrow's episode where they hear that the preg test was 100% positive.. wait, that was just me?! Love me some G&B

  7. I can't see your pictures!
    But oh my this was AWESOME!!! A fave post for sure!!!
    I really hope she reads it!!!

  8. Hahahahah! Classic! Glad i wasn't the only one who got excited about this news!

  9. Perfectly said! I was also very happy for them too, but really I think you are way more happy then I. Good Luck with G reading this!
    Happy Monday,

  10. so don't hate me, but i didn't hear the news until late this morning. but, the first thing i thought ... 'ooh, I wonder what Erin will write today'. apparently my entire life and way of thinking revolves around you. Hmmm ... look who's creepy now.

  11. LOL I love this!! And them and am super excited for la babyl to be entering this world :) total preshness

  12. It is the greatest news that they SO deserve!!!!

    Ok, I am laughing my butt off at the visual of you in the delivery room with them. haha....

  13. I am with thecoffehouse on this one, first thing/person I thought of was you! I was/am beyond thrilled for them as well, I am a huge fan of their show and even more excited for it now!

  14. You are delightful. I'm pretty sure that we'd be friends in real life. Can we have a glass of wine together?

  15. Your Snuggie formal is hilarious!!! Your entire post really made me smile. Love it! And I love Guilanna too!


  16. Yay!! That is awesome! So HAPPY for them!

  17. this was the funniest thing to read!

  18. This is awesome! I love this post. I feel the same way about Rick Springfield. lol

  19. I love you and your posts. Always,ales me laugh!!! G would be crazy to not let you shower her with gifts and/or be the surrogate for the next bambino.

  20. You are so creepy in the most adorable way possible. I hope G read this and laughed as much as I did. This was one of the most entertaining blogs I've ever read.

  21. LOVED it. you are too cute. and i am sure G did too!

  22. Snuggie Formal... that just made my day 100% funnier. Love it.

  23. I think I want to be your real life friend because I did a small happy dance too!

  24. Your too cute - love that your considering adoption for growing your family. We did, best and biggest blessing ever!


  25. Love this. Love her. We should all be BFF's together. I'm off to find the best snuggie in town. :) For realz though....so excited about her news. I may or may not be just as big of a fan. I just keep my obsessiveness in the confines of my home. My husband isn't on the train yet, but he will be....oh he will be.... :)

  26. Love you. Love her. I couldn't help but get ahold of my mom and scream Bill and G are having a baby!!!

  27. i happened to have the day off yesterday, and happened to see her do the big reveal.

    i also happened to be sitting next to my 50-something mother who goes "didn't she have breast cancer at some point?"

    (shocked my mom is as up to date on celeb gossip as i am...)

    she confessed later that she has a girl-crush on giuliana... and katy perry (wonder if she knows katy's real last name is hudson?! i think i might be 1-up on her on that one :P)


  28. Haha this was so amazing! I nearly fell off my chair when I saw that snuggie pic. So amazeballs! (Just had to throw that one in there)

    And go ahead and fangirl it out. You certainly aren't a creep.

  29. I think you forgot the part about you being the Godmother! haha - love your blog!!!

  30. I love this! Hopefully she does read it -- your baby plans sound great! lol

  31. Apparently I am the only one who think this is really weird and creepy.

    Congrats to Giuliana and Bill though, love them!

  32. So is it creepy that I totally thought of you when I heard the news :) I really am happy for them, such a great an genuine NORMAL couple in hollywood!

  33. Hah! I totally thought of you when I saw the news! :)

  34. oh. my. hilarious. so devoted!

  35. This is such a cute post. I am so excited for them (like I know them...)!


  36. I REALLY hope she reads this!! You never fail to CRACK ME UP when I read your blog and G should totally be giving you props!! I love "Snuggy Formal" so much, too!! Congrats on becoming an auntie again! ;)

  37. Totally understand your excitement for them. My husband thought I was nuts (even more nuts than he already thinks I am) because when I told him the news I started to cry. Damn you for calling first dibs on the nanny position! ;) (but since you and G are so tight now it does make sense!)


  38. You really crack me up and if I start peeing my pants I blame YOU! haha

    well done! love your blog!!!




I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)