4.09.2012

Dear Erin,

As you know, it's Tuesday.
As you should also know by now, that means its time for Dear Erin.
At the moment I feel ill-equipped to write this post.
For one, I have no wine in my hand.
Excuse me while I go fix this problem.
Now that we are good there--
my other issue is that my nose will not stop sneezing for the life of me.
Have you ever tried concentrating on something while you sneeze?
Consider it impossible.
Speaking of--have you ever thought about the dangers of sneezing while driving?
I mean lets be real--me driving without sneezing is dangerous enough.
But you add in those bits of eyes closed, head whipping, and heart stopping {is that really true?!}, it is a recipe for disaster.
I really don't know why I am talking about all of this right now.
Oh right, because I can't stop sneezing.
Anyhow..I should probably get the ball rolling with these questions.
You know. So I can go wallow in self sneezing misery over a glass {or four} of wine.
Dear Erin,
Hey! I don't know if this qualifies for your advice post since it's not hilarious. Like at all...but I need to know something. I need advice...about your hair. The color to be precise. What do you tell your hair person you want when you get your hair did? Do they foil it? Pull it through a cap? Paint it on freestyle? Is it bleach or color? And I'm gonna be all kinds of jealous if I find out you DIY that beautifulness!
Love,
Pimp My Weave

Dear Pimp My Weave,
Let me start by saying thank you.
As you can tell below, this masterpiece that sits atop my head has always been blessed.
I urge you not to be jealous of this matter.
While not everybody can pull off the "I want to be mistaken for a boy" and "crimped chipmunk" look, I certainly could.
Thank you Jesus.
Because of my fortunate hair genes, I have never had to tell my hairstylist what I would like done.
I simply sit down in her chair {once every 6-8 months..holler roots} and say
"Just do what you normally do".
This equates to the following:
--Not wetting my hair before cutting. Just going straight at it.
--The highlights you speak of. That is a nice mix of bleach {so healthy for your hair I hear} and some color of light brown I think? I think being the main point in that sentence. Oh, and because I am all for not having to sit in that chair for very long, I only have the top of my hair done. And yes, she does simply just foil it alternating between the beautiful bleach and color.
--After all of this, I exit the salon with dripping wet hair.
True story.
I've got things to do and my hair is not one of them.
Fortunately enough, I somehow walk away from all of the following with this look every time. For the past 8 years. I would hate to have to switch up my stylists routine ya know? That's just rude.
Love,
Erin
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Dear Erin,
I'm 23 and I need some advice on alcohol.
Now, not saying you drink a lot of it....ok maybe you do drink enough of it that almost each post shares you are having some wine and ect. So you must have some good suggestions for me?!
I have tried several alcoholic beverages in the past few years and I have found nothing that tasted good to me! Am I just doomed to never enjoy a glass of wine now and then? Is there a way to feel all sophisticated if I don't like martinis? Show me your ways!
Love,

What do you mean I drink a lot?

I take great offense.
But because I have {very limited} experience in the alcohol department, I will help a sister out.
Drinking can be an acquired taste for those of us who did not attend college.
Or for those of us who did not have their first full beverage until they turned 21.
Surprisingly enough, this is true. I can hear the gasps now. I know. All the fun I missed out on.
Anyhow, wine and beer used to be my enemies.
Fruity cocktails though however, have always been near and dear to my heart.
So I suggest you start there.
With something that tastes absolutely nothing like alcohol.
Think fuzzy navels//key lime pie martinis//apple wine//vodka waters with lemon.
If this approach seems too wussy, I have a better suggestion.
Stomach a few shots of what have you {Everclear anyone?} and before you know it--you will be able to drink anything your heart desires and not notice the taste.
Others will stare in envy as you tear through that bottle of Jim Beam.
But always remember--drink in moderation.
Unless you want to have fun.
In which case, party on girlfriend.

Love,
Erin
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Have any questions that you are dying to have answered {and no, not just about me..} but you know, like serious life questions {including but not limited to: Why do pickles exist? How did my mom get to be so hot? or Why has Keith Urban not responded to my tweet about marrying him?

..Okay so maybe I am still trying to figure out that last question. But yes, if you have a question shoot it my way at livinginyellow@gmail.com. Can't wait to answer.

Happy Tuesday lover beans. Go make it worthwhile...say with a drink or two.
xoxo

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28 comments:

  1. No joke. YES, I have totally thought about the dangers of sneezing while driving. Every time it happens, to be exact. I sneeze behind the wheel then say, "thank you, Jesus" for not letting my car careen into a ditch.

    So glad to see I'm not the only person who finds this incredibly dangerous. ;)

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  2. I think about sneezing and driving every time I sneeze while I'm driving...which is surprisingly often. Also...you're hilarious.

    Allyson
    http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com

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  3. I had a version of the "crimped chimpmunk" too! Oh those were the days weren't they?????

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  4. OK GET OUT OF TOWN. I can't handle you. Oh wait...yes I can. Come to Ohio for Katie's birthday! PLEASE???!!! I BEG YOU!!! I need your sneezy, crimped chipmunk alcoholic face with me come May 25th. What do I need to do to make this happen? (I'M FOR REALZ.)

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  5. Oh my word- you are funny! Just found your blog the other day and you seriously CRACK. ME. UP. I like to say no to crack most of the time, but I am gonna be all up in your blogging grid from now on.

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  6. haha omg i love the crimped hair! and also, i love that you can make me laugh when talking about the process of coloring your hair

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  7. so I totally have an answer for "alcoholic anonymous"...

    who gives a shit if it tastes bad! Its the buzz we're all after.....just get it done!

    And you're welcome.

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  8. and wait wait wait........not a sip til 21?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?

    I.

    am.

    astounded.

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  9. ps and third comment in one post....

    just saw Im under your "must reads"

    pretty much love you.

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  10. I laughed too hard at your "I don't drink too much" pictures. I can get behind the shots of Everclear... 3 of those and you won't taste anything else. Or know who anyone is. Or remember your own name. And if you're lucky you won't remember it the next day.

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  11. Dear Erin,

    Is it crazy that I get SO EXCITED every time you have a new post? Which technically is like every day (thank you for that), so really, everyday you make my day more exciting. Damn you're good.

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  12. Bahahaha.. First off you look EXACTLY like your momma in the first pic.. Second.. I am totally jealous of your background in the 2nd pic.. Something I always wanted but my momma always told me now. How rude :)

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  13. I am a firm believer in the "take a shot of petron and then drink whatever else you want" method. I prefer the girlie drinks. . .the ones that taste more like fruit and kool-aide than anything else. Party on!

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  14. the hair question.......I literally LOLed. i can actually type 'LOL' and not be lying. something would have come out my nose had I been drinking while reading. in other words, it was FREAKING AWESOME.

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  15. I choked on water when I saw your two throwback pics of your hair. I'm sorry- it happened, I choked and cracked up while at work. I had some rough 'dos back in the day-- but yours TRUMPS them all :)

    Thanks for writing letters to me again today ;)

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  16. I'm pretty sure your throwback hair photos trump any Liz Lemon/Tina Fey pics I've seen!

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  17. Firstly, it's very entertaining to me that the adchoice ads at the bottom of the comments are all for help to stop drinking right now...but anyway. Those old hair pictures are too funny! And you better hope you never lose your stylist, because your hair looks amazinggg now!

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  18. OMG, we had the same boy haircut!! I actually made an ornament in 5th grade with my stupid boy hair pic in it and every year my mom puts it on the tree. My ex would always say, "I didn't know you had another brother. LOL WHY???

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  19. Erin, these childhood photos solidify it. You MUST write a book. Love, love, love this post!!

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  20. LMBO :) I totally had a few of those dos back in the days...truth be told, my hair still sort of looks like that from time to time! ;)

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  21. And you have provided another reason as to why I think you are so awesome. Thanks!

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  22. LOL OMG! How did I JUST NOW SEE THESE PICS?! CLASSIC!!!!

    I almost spit out my pop. Wait, I don't drink pop. I mean water but that just doesn't sound AS cool. OMG I need to think of a good question.

    Here is my question and YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IT:

    How do you get those marvelous abs you have in pictures, but you say you do nothing to get them? Please stop hiding the answers and give it to me straight. What exercises are you doing besides eating mac and cheese up to 4x per week? Love, Ab Envious



    Let me know what week my question will be on! :)

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  23. PS-I'M AN IDIOT. Your button is on my sidebar. Sorry for the delay. I'm special.

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  24. Haha. I so agree with downing a few shots before drinking something. I'm known for using wine as a chaser lol.

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  25. Love this post! You are too funny :) x

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  26. ha ha ha, lovin the crimped chipmunk! And love the honesty with alcohol...I never drank until later in life (too many alcoholics in the fam) so I stick with fruity and am now embracing wine...still learning though lol

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)