Talk Mean And I'll Write A Novel.

I’ve said it once before and I’ll say it again.
I love when I receive inspiration for a blog post just outta the blue.
Like, I literally had to put ZERO effort into racking my brain for a topic today.
This usually happens when I see somebody trip and fall, I receive a sweet email, or when I read through Twitter and see 2 girls bashing me and this precious little blog left and right.
You know,  straight up middle school style.

Anyhow, today we are going to address the third item.
Now before we begin, let me preface something here.
This post is not intended to be harsh and condescending to these two ladies.
Okay you are right, girls.
Not ladies.
There are a lot of things that my brain would LOVE to say.
However, those things are pretty witty and {gasp}..ill-spirited.
I’m not going to lie—my brain goes to town when it hears mean things.
Like seriously, I am somewhat impressed with all of the things it was telling me to say.
However, my God loving spirit knows better than to sink to the classless, mean, foolish level that those who have gone before me have.
Darn spirit.
I would love to bring light to the things these girls said though for two reasons.

1.   One purpose of this blog is to document all monumental things that happen in this life of mine. And well friends, my first dose of “blog trash talk” is considered monumental.

2.   To prove my point once again:
Say mean things and you will look like a fool.
Time and time again. It never fails people. Never
So let’s dissect these comments one by one shall we?
First comment that was said about moi: “Her blog is so boring and childish”
Blog—if I could give you a high five right now, I would.
Being called childish may just be one of the most respected compliments you could pay me and this blog.
Last time I checked--playing four square, making up imaginary friends, and having recess followed up with nap time is a lot more fun than doing the laundry, washing dishes, and sitting behind a desk for 8 hours a day.
So please forgive me for correcting you but..
So seriously, thank you for unconsciously calling me fun.
You know what, now that we’re on this topic, one of my New Years resolutions in 2011 was to become more child-like.
Thanks to you, I now know that resolution was…resolved.
Booooo ya.
Second point I would like to bring attention to was this line
“She is not cute enough to give advice”
Excuse me.
Have you ever taken a good hard look at Dr Phil?
I wouldn’t exactly call him the next Ryan Gosling.
However, the man gives advice like it’s his job.
Oh wait, it is his job.
One that he makes darn good cash for.
So in reality, if you are this concerned about those dishing out advice being “cute” you may want to concentrate your efforts on getting Dr Phil to stop immediately. I’m sure he would love to hear from you and your genius points that you so clearly make.

Okay but this brings me to my next question about that brilliant comment you made.
What does being cute and giving out advice have to do with each other?
I have apparently not judged others enough on their cuteness vs advice levels. My bad. 
Fill me in on the correlation folks, I am seriously baffled.
Oh, and for the record—I am not sure what “advice” I’ve given so freely on this blog.
Last time I checked most of my efforts are talking about how my life is a joke and reiterating the fact that you should NOT do what I do. 
The third item that was brought to my attention was
“this girl is a nobody-
why would anybody waste their money advertising with her?!”
This one got me concerned for my life.
For a brief second I thought “Crap--I must not be alive”.
So then I had to get my pulse taken, take deep breaths, and go look in the mirror.
It was really kind of a big to-do.
Turns out though, I am alive and kicking.
Darn girls had me thrown for a loop there.
So in response to you girls, knowing full well that I am in fact alive,
what shall I do to become a “somebody” and not a “nobody”?
Breathe twice as fast as I normally do?
I don’t get it.
Again, what the heck is a nobody?
It sounds like a character straight out of a Dr. Suess book.
 You know, one of those people who live in Whoville or wherever.
It’s either that or a name that a 4 yr calls it’s friend who just stole his girlfriend on the playground.
Certainly not something a grown adult calls another person.
Yes, a person.
Not a nobody.
Clear on that?
Moving on.
Oh wait, not moving on.
She brings up a good question—why would anybody waste their money to advertise with me?”
Gosh, I love when somebody allows me to market myself without coming across as a person begging for money.
Let me tell you why.
Actually no, don’t let ME tell you why.
I will allow previous sponsors to tell you why.

Michelle from Momma Bird
" Okay Erin. I am not even kidding you - I am in SHOCK at how much traffic you have brought to my little ol' blog. Seriously! In the last 30 days your blog has almost brought me as much traffic as my Facebook page!!!! Over 600 clicks from your blog in the last 30 days - 6 FREAKING HUNDRED! I don't even know what to say - I mean WHOA."

Sarah from Handbag Heaven
"I just checked our analytics and it looks like you do show up in our top TWENTY referral sites! That's awesome! We thoroughly enjoyed partnering with you and would love to work with you in the future."

Elizabeth from Pickle Doodle Designs
"I need to THANK YOU! You have by far been my best referer to my etsy, FB, and twitter. I will be advertising again soon!"

Based off the above, I think it is safe to assume it wasn’t a waste of their money.
Just sayin’.
Last but not least, the last comment went a little something like
“I support my friends who blog.
I would just never read a random ugly girls blog Living In Yellow
Giiiiiirrrrlll----who you callin’ ugly?
Clearly you must be confused.
But for real—if you are concerned about me being ugly, I don’t know what to do to help.
Plastic surgery? Not happening.
Wear less make-up? Also not happening.
Wear more make-up? Been there, done that. Turns out it wasn’t such a good look.
Guess you’re going to have battle this one out with God.
Turns out He was the one who made me this way to begin with.
Sorry Charlie.
PS. I forgot one comment. I know, I know.
How could I possibly forget all of the meaningful things these beautiful people say?
Anyhow, this one said
“I am not sure where in the US you live, but you need to get out more”
You know what—thanks, but no thanks.
I am pretty confident your version of “getting out more” is sitting around on Twitter talking trash to total strangers.
I have much more exciting things to do.
Like eat, breathe, and sleep.
Oh, and gallivant around town acting like a joyful little child.
With all that being said, back to the original point of this post:
Be mean to others and you will look like a fool.
Guarantee it.
PS. If anybody else has anything additional they would like to say negatively about me and my blog, feel free.
However—don’t expect a whole blog post dedicated to you and your sour puss attitude.
This was way too time consuming.
PPS. Because the point of this post was NOT to fish for compliments
{you know the type “I am so fat…” “No you aren’t, you are beautiful” “Auwww you shouldn’t have said that!!!”} Yeah, that.
Because of that, I have turned the comments off for the day.
Trust me--I know the love you have for me and this little bloggy is tremendous and I have felt it time and time again.
Thank you ya precious little chicken heads.
I love you too :)

One last thing—to the girls that said these mean things:
I have total faith that you are much better people in real life than what you portrayed yourselves to be online.
I hope that you begin to pay closer attention to your words and how they affect others.
I also pray that you take all of your negativity and turn it into something positive.
You have influence you know?
Use it for your good and the good of others.
Life is much more fun that way.
Oh, and you are 100% forgiven.
Now just start acting like the ladies your mommas taught you to be.
You can do it.
And for everybody else who has been hated on--
Remember one thing.

The End.