2.15.2012

Valentines Day Makes Me A Hot Sweaty Mess

It’s true.
I was a hot mess yesterday.
Before you go getting all “Ewww gross, I don’t want to think about that” on me—
hear me out.
It’s because I worked out people.
As in ran on the treadmill in what seemed to be 80 degrees at waaaaay too intense of an incline.
2.5%.
Whoa, I know.
So I had something really funny written here.
We are talking funnnnnnyyy.
And my husband deleted it.
Now would be the appropriate time to throw eggs at your computer screen.
  
Anyhow.

Sticking with the tradition from Thanksgiving, I am going to list a few lessons learned.
Only this time--Valentines Day style.

1.    You ever want to feel like one of those
“Crafty, Thoughtful, I Can Do Anything And Make It Look Good” kind of people?
Do the following:
Buy a box of brownie mix.
Add in peanut butter chips.
 And then write I Love You on them.
BAM.
You just became one of those people.
I made these for both my lover and my niece.
Apparently she liked them because when her mother took them away, this is what happened.
 Cry baby.


2.    Want to continue the feeling of being one of those awesome superstars that you know deep down really isn’t you?
Decorate your husband’s card with Laffy Taffy.
I know you guys, I know.
I way outdid myself on that one.


3.    Speaking of cards—be with somebody who makes you laugh.
Like laughs hard.
It will make the receiving of this card a lot less offensive and just downright funny.
Don’t worry—there were plenty of sweet words on the other side ;)


4.    Valentines Day equals Romance.
Which also means you should take pictures of yourself kissing the camera because that’s obviously a normal thing to do and all.
Except here’s the deal.
If you kiss the camera and you end up looking like a duck or a cow, stop taking pictures of yourself.
It’s embarrassing.
Lesson learned.


5.    Go to Chick-Fil-A for dinner. Just do it. Best Decision Ever.

6.    When you are at Chick-Fil-A and they have a giant cow roaming around—
demand that you get your picture taken with it IMMEDIATELY.
This is what I tried to do but the rest of my company said “Oh lets just wait til after we eat…”
So we waited. And the entire time my insides were squirming with excitement.
Well what do you know—we are done eating and that stupid cow was nowhere to be found.
Which brings me to my next point.


7.    When asking the hostess where that cow wandered off to, don’t ask
“Is the chicken still around?!”
You will get a response like “Chicken?!?” And then you will have to say
“Yeah the giant chicken that is walking around taking pictures with people…
I really wanted my picture with him!”
which will then result in the hostess saying
“Its not a chicken. It is a cow. But no, the cow is no longer here…”
Cow, Chicken, whatever.
They all live on a farm.
Get sad here.
Really really sad because you just missed out on your once in a lifetime opportunity to take a picture with a giant cow.
Or chicken.
Whatever you call it.

8.    Demand that you must take pictures in front of the Chick-Fil-A sign because you missed out on your farm animal.

9.    Stay out there long enough because..{this is where it gets good} that same hostess will come running out after you saying “THE COW IS BACK!!”

10.  Take pictures with the cow.
Obviously.

11.  After dinner--come home.
Remember how I had something funny up top?
Welp, there was something very humorous here as well.
Darn husbands.
They take all the fun out of funny.

12.  End the night with Sophia Grace & Rosie.
You will have never laughed harder with your Valentine.
{especially at the 3:15 mark}
Yes, it is my life mission to adopt these girls.


13.  Somewhere between all of the above—blog about your husband’s poor history with Valentines gifts. Because, maybe—just maybe he will come to his senses and surprise you with something good.
Say for instance, a new desk. For your soon to be new office.
Well done husband.
Well well done.

...And there you have it folks.
13 simple, yet highly effective ways to make your Valentines the best one yet.

Til next time.
Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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27 comments:

  1. Ohmygosh. Those two are pretty much the cutest things ever.

    Husbands always delete the best things from blog posts. My husband is a culprit of this as well.

    Chicken, cow... whatever, they both taste delicious on a bun. I'm officially jealous of your picture with the cow though. Really.

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  2. Sophia and Rosie are frigging ADORABLE. It makes me wonder if that's what my girlfriend sounded like when she was little and I'm just like AAAAAAAWWWWW.

    She'd probably look at me like I'm a crazy person.

    Pooor niece. :(

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  3. lol I love reading your posts! You're so funny lady!! Sounds like you had a great Valentines. I just added your button to my blog. Hope you can check it out sometime :)
    Have a great night!!
    Lauren @ Lemon Trees and Bumble Bees

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  4. I'm gong to adopt those girls first! You can come over and hang out... Maybe babysit them, if I ever let them leave my side! I wish I could put them in my pocket and keep them forever!!

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  5. Love this post. And I love those little girls. I just watched that and I was dyinggggg

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  6. hahahahhah :) love it !
    I have yet to celebrate my valentine, until this weekend.

    <3 marleyetme.blogspot.com

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  7. love it! those girls are hilarious!!!!!! ahhh i was cracking up over here!!!

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  8. I love that yall went to Chick-fil-a for Vday!! So fun!!!
    And those girls are hilarious!!!!

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  9. this is honestly one of the funniest posts I've read. thank you for your wisdom. i needed a good laugh today. (oh and the kissing faces pictures of you DO not look like animals - you look quite beautiful!)

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  10. Those gooey brownies look delicious. What a way to say I love you.

    www.thegirlieblog.com

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  11. Awww just look at your nieces face, those brownies must have been GOOD!

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  12. You never fail to crack me up!
    My husband is also sensitive to "over share" He likes to be very private and proper

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  13. okay, so i haven't read any posts in a while and i just read through all of yours in the last week and i just love reading all your random thoughts/stories. love love love it!
    seriously.
    love it.
    can't say it enough.
    LOVE IT!!

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  14. I LOVE your Valentine's date =) so cute. I definitely have no problem going to Chick-fil-a haha =)

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  15. Haha love this post! Looks like ya'll had a fun Valentine's date! :)

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  16. Great post. I especially love the pic of your game face! :) so fierce!

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  17. HAHAHAHAHA! This is so funny. For real. The cry baby, the giant cow, all of it. So good. :)

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  18. Peanut Butter chips?!? BRILLIANT! And next year I am going to Taco Johns for V-day...no arguments!

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  19. I am not sure what I love more, those cute little girls with their cute little accents and their cotton candy OR your chic-fil-a story. I met that same cow/chicken last year... totally forced my family to get a picture with him too. :) xoxo

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  20. I saw the brownie picture on fb and thought I should probably do the same! Sadly I didn't.

    Your niece is too cute!! I would cry too if someone took brownies away from me.

    Now Im really wanting Chick-fil-A. It sounds much better than what I brought for lunch. :(

    hahahah loved that video. Those girls are too cute and crack me up!!

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  21. i have a question about your lemon water you drink each morning... I've been trying it and not seeing any "results" ifyouknowwhatimsayin... how much lemon juice do you put in? I'm using an actual lemon.

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  22. This post is just awesome.. all of it.. and love that video! gah!

    -Lindsay

    Ps...I Hope you enter my awesome Giveaway http://lindzaynicole.blogspot.com/2012/02/giveaway-fashion-cupcake_16.html

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  23. You are just too funny! I'm a new reader via your awesome giveaway and I'm so glad I am. You're posts really brighten my day!! Thanks!

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  24. Bahaha your poor niece! And i too LOVE Sophia and Rosie oh my goodness. So hilarious and disgustingly adorable. Looks like you had a wonderful valentines day :)

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  25. awesome job on the treadmill! i don't even risk the 2.5 incline! :) and love the chik fil-a... not so much the mascot though ;)

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  26. Your blog is my new favorite- just thought I would let you know! I want to adopt those two girls as well- they are hilarious!!

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)