Girl---You Be Weird.

**Before you start reading: Please know that Blogger is giving me a massive headache right now with it's spacing issues it has goin' on. I am about to throw my computer out of the window.
It's been good blogging friends. Sayanora computer**

So a lot of times on this blog I get comments that say “You are hilarious”
Or tweets that say “How in the world do you come up with this S-h-fill in the blank-t?!”
Really, I equate both to...
 “Girl—you are weird and how in the world does your brain come up with this non-sense?”
And you all need to know something right here, right now.
What you see on this blog is just a smidgen of how I am in real life.
In fact, I consider some of my greatest “writings” not on blog posts.
But instead emails.
And real life conversations.
Oh, and tweets.
Especially tweets.
I could blow that thing up like a mother if I stayed at home all day.
Just sayin’.
So I thought today—why not share with you some of my recent conversations?
Just so I can confirm that in fact, this weirdness travels with me everywhere and anywhere, not just on the blog.
We’ll start with a conversation that I had via email with my husband the other day
{it was about me attending a conference that Giuliana is going to be at}

Me: I pretty much decided that I NEED to go on April 15th to that event in Chicago.
Can I please please please?!??!?!? I will save up my own money to go!!!!!

Him: Haha, we will talk about it tonight. I doubt I'll have any issue with it, I just dont know what it is.

Him: All I see stamped all over this thing is "fundraise, fundraise, fundraise". IT'S $500.

Me: Hehehehehe I know…you don’t HAVE to fundraise you silly monkey.

Him: No way are you spending $500 on a seminar in Chicago...you failed to mention how much it cost!

Me: Oh brother. Guess I will have to fundraise for it ;)

Him: Only if it entails not asking anyone for a dime!!!!!! No blog mentions asking for money in any way, no physical talking asking for money, nothing of that sort.

Me: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?

Me: Oh, and I wanted to have a llama sale for it too.
I would go steal a bunch of llamas and then sell them.

Him: Haha, okay now the llama sale I can handle.

Disclosure: I do not own any llamas. Nor do I know what a llama is. But, I am going to find out—
and then rally up all the llamas I can get. And then sell them.
All to meet Giuliana. Act like that isn’t genius.

And then, there is this email conversation with my friend at work
(I would say she is equally as quirky. Or funny. Or crazy):
Her: Your goal for the week is to read the hunger games.  The end.

Me: oh crap. I don’t know if I can accomplish that. Sorry.

….insert small talk about how we need to do dinner.

Me: Okay we are in for tomorrow night. Woop Woop. What time do we need to plan on chicken head? I hope it is okay if I drink a bottle of wine.
Are we riding together or separate?

Her: We’ll have to go separate cause we have to drop off the kids and we wouldn’t be able to fit everyone in the car then…sorry!  It’s either that or buy a minivan.


Her: Ew, never.  Not even for you.  I would walk to work every day before I would get a minivan.

Me: Whatever. We can’t be friends if we can’t ride together. Sorry.

Her: Fine, well you guys can sit at the next table and we will talk smack the whole time and you’ll hear it cause you’re an eavesdropper. TAKE THAT.

For the record—I love minivans. And want to own one.
And no, I do not have children. But think of all the friends that could fit in that baby.
Oh hey that's cool.
My husband just made me delete the funniest part in the whole post.
I think this calls for bed time.
Moral of the story to all of this is—well, I am not sure.
Oh right, I remember where I was going with this.
It’s a fact.
I am weird.
Speaking of—my husband told me to wear his shoes to bible study the other night.
While I may not have worked up the nerve to actually wear them out,
I had no shame in having a full out photo session in those bad boys.
Dang, I look good.



  1. bahaha this makes my day.
    I so wish we were real life friends. I could use a good laugh every day.

    seriously, so funny. i don't know how you are so clever & witty.

  3. HYSTERICAL.....this is exactly how my girlfriend and I e-mailed. She passed last year and man do I miss that banter. She was a hell of a lady and clearly you are too. Thanks for the chuckle!

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  6. I do not have kids yet either and totally want a mini van to fit lots of friends in - so I'm glad I'm not the only one!

    Some of my funniest moments are also emails sent to friends, especially at work - my blog entries are never as funny as I am in email - I totally understand that!

  7. I just love you, weirdo! The end. xoxo

  8. “I’m your newest follower…come follow me back”- I kid, I kid! I mean you can follow me back, but only if you really, really, really want to...or if you are bored :) I truly am ELATED that I found you on Alycia's blog! Not only did I just learn a TON over on her blog, but I just laughed out loud (and woke the hubs), while reading this post. I don't think you are weird, either. Kooky- hell yes, weird- notsomuch. On a serious note, my hubby deploys next week, and you really did boost my spirits. Thank you for that <3

  9. You are not weird. Hysterical, yes but weird, no! Your husband sounds like Mr. Proper just like mine.

  10. Well hun if you're weird keep it coming. Makes my day!

  11. I live near Chicago! I want to go to that event but doubt I could raise $500. We could team up - you can raise the money and you can stay at my house for free. : )

  12. If I posted the things my best friend and I talked about, people's minds would spin. We literally can carry on 5 convos in 1 text about 5 different things and keep track. A snip it of yesterdays convo: Me-people need to stop getting preggers friend-it's winter they are just trying to keep warm me-HAKUNA MATATA! her-it means no worries for the rest of our days me-they are not trying to keep warm, it's been super warm this winter, it's a lie friend-well there's nothing to do in winter, they are just bored
    me-it's our problem free philosophyyy BAHAHHAHA friend-hakuna matata! me-HAKUNA MATATA! we are weird and I love it. Makes life more fun no?

  13. Love it =) I don't know that I'm funny but my train of thought is on the crazy rails and it is really hard explaining to someone how I get from point A to point B =) I can do it - maybe I'll post a stream of consciousness and see how that is taken lol

  14. no blow job pun :( Boo for husbands who edit blog posts!

  15. Hahaha! I love how you can turn everything into something funny! You are so amazeballs, I have to use the word amazeballs to describe you and I don't even use that word! So see how amazeballs you are!!

  16. This is exactly why I'de wanna be friends with you in real life!!

  17. I laugh out loud EVERY freaking TIME!!!! You truly make my heart sing, smile and desire to be as weird as you.

    Girl, I be loving you.

  18. you are ridiculously good-looking.

  19. Weird works! I love reading your posts! Oh and I have a minivan out of necessity...blech. I'd take a gas guzzling, SUV anyday! Ok, it DOES hold a LOT.
    I'm torn.
    Love this post, I laughed...a LOT!

  20. seriously...could you BE any funnier (joey)? love your posts, always make me laugh. thanks for the crack ups

  21. Ummmm will you be my new best friend? HAHA! No seriously, you are so hilarious. The llama thing cracked me up! Oh, and you are just gorgeous in your husband's fabulous shoes! Hahahaha!

  22. You may be weird, but weird is how I like 'em :)


I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)