If I Ran For President...

I'd have my own set of "BS" that I would promise you all.
Except mine wouldn't be BS at all because all of my ideas as BA.
{Children-don't ask your parents what the above abbreviations stand for. You will someday understand}
If I were running for president...

-I would make it a law that anybody over the age of 21 must get a massage at least once a month.
At the Governments expense.

-Nap time at 2:00 pm across the US.
No matter what.

-The Government would support the Girl Scouts like you've never seen before.
At least 3 packages of cookies would be sent to every household in America.

-If you are under 18?
No Facebook for you.

-Under 16?
No cell phones either.

...Oh look at that.
We just ended bullying and sexting all in one swoop.
Moving on...

-Teachers would be allowed to both pray over their students AND smack their booties with a paddle.
Raise Hell now children and see what happens.
God AND paddles are looking over you.

-Aspartame? Outlawed.

-Every “group” of people must dance before starting their day.
Schools, Work Places, Nursing Homes.
Cupid Shuffle/Cha Cha Slide/Party Rock Anthem, you decide.

-Overtime would be considered illegal.
No more than 40 hours a week, and at least 4 weeks vacation.

-Happy Hour would be legalized and implemented in every state.
2 for 1 anyone?

-All High School Seniors would have to take a class on the importance of saving money
 and the damages of debt.

-Anything with more than 3 ingredients in a package—
not allowed in grocery stores.

-Every person who is at or above reading level 3 would have to read Ellen’s book
“Seriously..I'm Kidding”
volunteer somewhere for at least an hour a week.
Depression/stress levels would decrease by at least 70% making Health Care Costs
 not such a big deal after all.  

-Speaking of lowering depression and stress--every household would be sent a
"Tickle Machine"
Yes, you would have to use it daily.
Try being stressed when you are bustin' a gut folks.

-Skinny jeans would be considered illegal on males.
If this doesn't stop immediately, the world population will significantly decrease.
You know those jeans gotta be cuttin' somethin' off down there.

 -Oh, and of course the major thing I would strive for..
World Peace

What BS laws would you pass through if you were President?
Tell the world, yo.

{If you link up—please use this button on your hot bliggity blog and link it back here!}

...Now if only Politicians read blogs...
What a better place this world would be.



  1. This was amazing, I wish you could impose all of those laws immediately!

  2. if i was Prime Minister (i'm Canadian) ..... The drive thru at Tim Hortons would only be for coffee/tea or any drink beverage...Same with any fast food joint.... If you wanted something you had to chew... you had to get off your butt and walk/work for it. It doesn't matter how "fast" they work the drive through line... you always get someone who orders like 8 sandwich deals... and like a family pack of Timbits....Slows everything down... and when you get to the window... your coffee... well let's just say it's suffered a bit... and the mocha with whipped you ordered...... well the best part of that drink has melted away... (they could offer up individual whipped cream packets... who am I kidding... that would never make it to my coffee).. oh... and they would go back to deep frying their doughnuts... and back to making everything FROM SCRATCH! Nothing like a warm sour cream glazed right from the hopper! ok..I'm done.

    PS... Im all for the nap thing - !

  3. haha LOVE this!! Hellooooo president Erin!

    I'm so linking up

  4. Hahaha, brilliant!
    You get my vote, even if I am all the way in the UK.
    Goodbye mens skinny jeans...I think we've seen enough "packages"!

  5. Please please raise millions of dollars and run! Or you could just rob some banks and use that money. Same difference. Lol

    I'd so vote for you and what a crazy cool idea!

  6. OMG. Is it too late for you to run? How incredibly awesome would it be if all your readers wrote your name down on the voting ballot?! Write-in candidate! Right here! I am pretty sure you would win... hands down.

  7. I love this idea! I'll have to link-up soon :)

  8. I'd vote for you!! Although I'm not too happy about your aspartame law (love me some Diet Coke!!) but maybe you can elaborate on that one in another post! I know you probably have more to say about it! Love the Girl Scout cookie law the most! Yuuuum!!!

  9. LOVE this!! Will be making my campaign tomorrow and linking it up :)

  10. I like a lot of your ideas, but I'm really not a fan of the paddles in schools. I'm a parent AND a teacher, and I don't think that's a good idea! I think waaaay too often corporal punishment is used as an outlet for the adult's frustration, rather than for the child's benefit.

  11. I like a lot of your ideas, but the cell phone one? My son's 9, he has one, but he also lives two states away with his dad. I love getting texts and voicemails and phone calls from him.

    But I agree 1000000% with massages and naps.

    I should check out that Ellen book regardless. I have My Point, and I Do Have One, but I didn't know she had a newer one.

  12. I would outlaw leggings as pants. Yeah-uh. I love this! And I love your blog. I am a new follower. Check mine out; you may just want to follow back. Have a good weekend!


  13. you had my vote with the words "naptime". shoooot, i've been lobbying to reinstate naptime for students AND teachers in school for 9 years now. with you backing me up as the el presidente, i'd SURELY get it pushed through into law! and God with a paddle as His wingman for school discipline? genius!

  14. I'd be much less inclined to consider moving to Europe every single day if you were president. ;)

  15. i dont have a blog, but ive been reading yours for a couple months now and you always seem to make me laugh=)love it. =)

  16. 16 weeks paid maternity leave AND Catholic institutions would have to pay for birth control on their healthcare plan.

  17. I would ABSOLUTELY vote for you!!

    I couldn't agree more about cell phones for KIDS and skinny jeans on guys...

  18. Ok the kids having no cell phones is a big YES from me!

  19. I am writing you in! This is a great post and actually, some pretty amazing things that should already be laws!

    xo Teresa

  20. You will be my write in vote! Great ideas! I particularly like the no skinny jeans on men haha

  21. This is TOO funny, I agree with everything you said! I'll definitely be linking up!

  22. You are SO RIGHT about no cell phones if you're under 16 years and no fb if you're under 18! Goodbye bullying and sexting! I'll definitely be linking up!

  23. Genius about the aspartame. I hate that stuff and I feel like its just lurking around in so many foods we don't know about. Blah!

  24. omg omg omg...can I tell you how much I love this??!! I felt like I wrote all of that myself! I gotta try to fig out how to link up...never done it before...but I got some shizz to add to yo list! ;)

  25. This made my day!!! I agree with u on so many!! I read it out loud to some girlfriends and we couldn't stop laughing.

  26. Erin I'm not sure I could come up with my "own" list without repeating a ton of things on yours!!! This was great!

  27. i totally agree about the age limit for Facebook and cellphones...i think the world would such a better place!

  28. OMG this is fabulous! Please make this happen, i'm counting on you!

    Sam aka your newest follower

  29. ERIN I DIE! I love this. I tried leaving a comment yesterday but obviously blogger hates me?!?!!? I would repeat almost all of these rules! :) tooooooo good. just too too good my friend.

  30. Bahahaha! I love this!! You'd be a great president!

  31. Love this and that skinny jean thing, HILARIOUS. A-FRICKIN-MEN!

  32. I love this post so much! Thank you for doing this!

  33. This is WAY too amazing! Found your blog yesterday through daybook and i am so glad to add it to my favorites- the way you write is beyond hilarious and wonderful. I'm oh-so-very new to the blogging world and your blogging tips are too wonderful. thank you for being such a fun inspiration to follow!

  34. I love your list! It's perfect :) xoxo

  35. If your idea of that perfect world would be implemented, then there would be no more low calorie sweeteners and pregnancy doctors to treat aspartame related diseases.

  36. You would be an amazing president!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes


I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)