9.21.2011

"You Never Do Awkward & Awesome Posts Anymore"


Those are the exact words that popped out of my Blog-Nazi husband the other day.
Excuse Me?
Your right, I've only written 27 Awkward & Awesome posts over the past 7 months...
But yeah, I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever write them.
Punk.

So in effort to prove him wrong
{because that is what I am best at}
I figured I should write my 28th Awkward & Awesome Post.
Stick that in your mouth and suck on it for awhile husband.
Ha.Ha.Ha.
Gosh I am tough.
Anyhow-we should probably get on with this whole Awkward & Awesome bit eh?
{Warning: This may be long. In fact, it will be long.}

Awkward
1. Awhile back, I had to have blood drawn for our yearly Health check-up at work
{Yes, I have considered finding a new job just because of this...What employer in their right minds thinks is an okay thing to do to your employees?! To say it is complete torture is like saying Brad Pitt is just "okay" looking. Its beyond terrible, and yes Brad Pitt is beyond mesmerizing}
Anyhow-the male nurse poking that needle in my arm had the audacity to say to others surrounding "She has garden hoses for veins...these are a nurse's dream!!"
I've never felt more beautiful or proud of my body as others examined my "garden hose" veins.
Thanks dude.
Count your blessings you still have all your teeth attached to your gums. Just sayin'.

2. Speaking of males giving me really great compliments..a male co-worker of mine checked out this blog of mine and reports back to me with "Yeaaaah...that picture of you with the whole bubble gum thing is pretty creepy..."
 Awesome.
Totally what I was going for...Creepy, definitely not cute.

3. I'm a roll for compliments right now so I might as well keep goin. Today I handed a gentleman some cash-our hands touched {in a very non-romantic way, don't worry} and he says "Wow..you're cold" so I say "Yeah..they are always cold" and he responds with nothing but "You are like a corpse..."
Lovely.
So lets recap: I have garden hose veins, I look creepy, and I feel like a corpse.
Congrats husband-you sure know how to pick em' well :)

4. As you know-I'm kinda obsessed with my niece. I live like 1.5 miles from her and see her on a weekly basis. One thing you don't know is that I have never once in her 1 1/2 years of living, been able to baby-sit her. My sister acts like it's a huge deal just because the one time I actually did supervise her (for a whopping 5 minutes) she wound up falling into a pool.
Whatever.
Pretty sure my niece loved the nice surprise of taking a quick un-planned swim.
Aunt of the year?
I'm totally winning.

{See sister-I learned to now always keep her in a life jacket. Even when she isn't swimming}

5. I realize some people are lonely and long for a companion to keep them company-
But really?

Awesome
1. Who has a brand spankin' new precious little niece?!?
Ba ba ba dooo bop-ME :)
Who is the negligent aunt who forgot to take her freakin' camera to the hospital when I met her for the first time-ME :(
That aunt award I was winning earlier is now shot.
Anyhow-she is amazeballs.
Yes, I just called my niece amazeballs.
Truth hurts people.
You will see pictures soon...believe that.

2. Speaking of blogs and awesomeness-I found a new one that I am kinda obsessed with. It's one of those that you find and then you immediately want to read every.single.post that they've ever written {because clearly you have nothing better to do with your time}.
Anyhow-the girl cracks me up to the core. And what core doesn't need a good crackin'?
3. So now that I've mentioned crackin my core up-that is exactly what the man and I have been doing lately. I mean full out "laugh til you cry and your face feels like it most likely will break into a million pieces" moments. It's been pretty magical really. Especially while lying in bed with all the lights off and all you hear is each other's squeaks raging out of your mouth at 50 MPH {okay so maybe I am the only squeaker} but seriously-
nothin' beats a good laugh.
Especially with your lover.
4.
I could watch that shaz a million times over and it would never get old to me.
"What's the soup du jour?"
"The soup of the day..."
"Mmmmm...that sounds good, I'll have that."

5. Last but not least, the deal I have going on that makes me dance around with sandals in my hands. Completely normal-don't worry about it. Click here to get in on the action.
Oh and if you are like me and believe in Goin' BIG or Goin' Home....
The two XL ads are still available.
Snatch those up kids.
Your blog or shop will turn instantly famous.
It's bound to happen, I just know it.

...Annnnnd there you have it folks.
Finally I can get that pesky little husband of mine off my back.
Although on second thought..... ;)

Happy Thursday Sugar Snaps.
Make it a good one.

PS. This blog is gettin' made-over. You should see the reveal any day now.
It's gonna be marvelous to say the least.
Speaking of blog makeovers-head over here to win a FREE one.
Yes, you would be smart to click there.

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9 comments:

  1. funny! you are hilarious! speaking of co-worker's is it awkward to have your male co-worker walk in on you at the photocopier doing air punches like a ninja-boxer? I like to work out while at work. OR does it make it awesome that we both laughed our faces off about it?

    ps... love that movie.... "just go man"

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  2. Oh my gosh! Would you like me to do one of those spiny kick things and land it in the head of all those men? Because I gladly will.

    This post definitely cracked me up && I love dumb and dumber!

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  3. i love reading your blog, it makes me smile and laugh :)

    being an Aunt is the best!! congrats on being an Aunt of 2 now!!!

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  4. Erin,

    This made me laugh. I can hear your mom's humor in your lines. Way to go, girl. And congrats on your following and FB following. You've got a way with words. I laughed tonight. Thanks.

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  5. OMG I LOVE you. seriously, how awesome are you?????????????

    I think we are fast becoming blog besties. shoutout to YOU coming soon in le blog :)

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  6. Ahhh I LOVE awkward and awesome posts. You are too funny, girlfriend!

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  7. You be the bestttt mama. HILARIOUS. I hope your hubby is happy after this one!

    I can't wait to see your new makeoverrrrrr.

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  8. Your bubblegum picture is totes not creepy! I think its very cute and fits you. (lol like I know you from reading your blog...) Anywho, thanx for the giggle as always.

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I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)