Awkward & Awesome Thursday

Happy Thursday to ya chicken heads..
{I mean that in the sincerest form of chicken head flattery that there is}.
It's that time of the week already, which is mind blowing on every level in my small cranium.
Speaking of which, Thank God our menstrual cycles don't happen as often as Awkward/Awesome does.
Not sure why that just popped into my head but I am currently counting my blessings for that fact.
K, well that was a weird paragraph. I think I'll go ahead and just get crackin' away on the real point of today's post.
1. Waking up to this sight the other morning:
Not sure how my hair tie {which happens to be the classiest hair tie you can use-
Hint: It is made of rubber and also has the name band in it. It works wonders on tearing off hair in spots you didn't want torn off and always feels amazing as it yanks the few remaining hairs left on your head as you pull it out} traveled from my head to the middle of my tea during the night. That thing has got some mad talent kids.
And obviously likes to go on adventures as much as her momma does.
Oh rubber band, I knew you would make me proud someday.
2. Witnessing a 7 yr old boy driving a go-kart on a public road with his father right next to him. At first I was a little worried that they didn't realize this kind of activity probably is illegal, but was then comforted after noticing the fathers beautiful camouflage pajama pants.
Lesson Learned: Whenever having a 7 yr old drive you around on a public road, just wear camo. Those beauties will disguise you perfectly, thus allowing you to get away with anything.
3. Telling somebody the other day that their income is around $1,700 a month to which they respond with "Actually it is more...I make like $1,600". I had no response, but quickly docked their income down to $0 after realizing with a brain like that, there is no way somebody is paying them to represent their company. Okay, joke. Kinda.
4. Receiving a call from somebody-informing them that it is the wrong number-and then hours later start receiving hate text messages from that same number informing me I am going to get my a double s beat for talking trash to some girl I have never heard of. After informing them a second time that this is the wrong number, they respond with
"Uh Huh...I was told differently."
Oh to have that level of class....
And that awesome level of "hate" text messaging skills.
I can't think of a more threatening way to fight.
5. Gushing to somebody about how good your lunch was that you just ate, then wandering off to the bathroom to look in the mirror and realizing that lunch you were just talking about is stuck in about every tooth possible. Awesome.
1. The many comments and emails I have gotten over the past couple of days. Your response to My Secret was overwhelming and brought me to tears {especially you momma}.
 I proclaimed at least ten times to my dog how sweet all of you are, she quickly agreed by a couple of licks on my legs. Also-thank you for the face wash recommendations-I can't wait to try them out. Oh and Kim, if you are reading- thanks for the awesome comment you left the other day. It made my week and I thank you.
 Keep on stepping out of that comfort zone lady ;)
2. This conversation which took place about an hour after my husband got home from his business trip:
Me: I have a headache..
Shawn: How long have you had that?
Me: Oh, just since you've gotten home..
Shawn: There are 10,000 unemployed comedians in this world and you are trying to be 1 of them.
Ha. I laughed..and then punched him in the throat ;)
Kidding. But it made me happy he was home.
3. While the above man mentioned was gone, I decided to make the best decision of my life and peruse Target for roughly an hour and a half where I accidently spent two much money. Two things here-If you say accidently I don't think you can get in trouble for it?
And Two-When you know you are about to spend a decent amount of money, throw in a few necessary items such as dish soap and dog treats. That way when your husband starts to raise his voice at how much you spent you can kindly remind him that you had to buy necessities as well {sure they might've only cost $5 out of the $120 you spent, but hopefully your man will overlook that detail}.
4. Somehow after Target I found myself sitting in a massage chair getting a pedicure and manicure. My internal GPS is spot on recently. Anyhow, it was amazing. Boys have NO idea what they are missing out on. Favorite part? Trying to guess what those little foreigners are saying to each other. You can come up with the silliest things in your head {if you are as mature as I}. One word of advice though: Listen to them as they yell to you that your toes are not dry and you should not put your socks on. Or don't-I now have some stellar crackle finish that I didn't even have to pay for. Sweeeeet.
5. The fact that while you are reading this I am on my way to Nashville shimmy and shaking to Carrie Underwood & Taylor Swift preparing for the awesomeness that I am about to get smacked in the face with. Unless you are reading this after 6 pm Thursday-in which case I am drinking my body weight {in water of course..gotta stay hydrated folks}, jumping up and down declaring to the world that this is the best day of my life...oh, and making googly eyes at Keith Urban. It is going to epic I tell you. Epic.
...Holy sweet sassy molassey, this was long.
So sorry buckwheat.
Although you will not be hearing from me until next Monday, so really..I am not that sorry.
Hope you kids can manage while I am gone :)
It's True...Love you to the moon Nashville and back.



  1. :) So glad you're loving Nashville!! We live about 20 mins away from downtown..it truly is a remarkable city!

    And the whole trash talking texts! People KILL ME!! I swear, I don't get it!

    Oh..and I'm guilty of the whole rubberbands. Ouch!

  2. you should have just fueled the texting fire and then sat back and watched the evening news to find out what the result was ;)

    i'm not a big taylor swift kinda gal (please still love me. your t-shirt says that you do so you kind of have to!) but i do love me some carrie and keith urban IS very nice to lay eyes upon! have fun in nashvegas!

  3. I must've missed something..what are you going to this weekend?! Have so much fun! Target gets me everytime ahhh...so bad. I love the "I accidentally" part..I may have to implement that!

  4. Had to laugh at the wrong number incident because a few months ago I got a text from a girl I didn't know. I text her back and told her she had the wrong number..that I didn't know a Lauren (or whatever her name was). She proceeded to text me and said, "Maybe you wish you did!" and then sent me very inappropriate pictures!!!! I had to laugh...if only she knew she was sending those pics to a 30-something stay-at-home mom!!! Ha!


  5. Girl you are hilarious! Gotta love the wrong number hate texting.

  6. Oh.My.Gosh! You have me cracking up! Soo glad I found your blog, thanks to Ashley over @ The Shine Project. Cant wait to read more! Happy Weekend!! (:

  7. your blog is totally super awesome! love it! you are a riot.


I read and appreciate every one of your comments. Thanks for stopping by my space and sharing a piece of yourself on this huge ole internet. I meant that in the least creepy way possible. I'm just good at making everything awkward. Anyhow, thank you for your comments. They make me smile :)