1. Putting on a shirt for the day and realizing the size sticker is still plastered running down the front. This wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t worn it before, but I have. More than once. Thank you everybody who failed to mention this. On the bright side, I now have multiple people who won’t even have to ask my size when purchasing my Christmas gifts this year.
2. Thinking somebody is waving at you so you wave back all cheerfully and then notice they were waving at the person behind you. Usually you realize this by the confused face the waver gives or by the group of friends with the waver that is busting up laughing. I love witnessing this happen to other people. It might be one of my favorite things.
3. Having a member ask me if I can give him our routing number (FAQ in my line of work), and I respond back simply with “Oh yes”. He says “You make that sound sexy.” Okay two things: 1.Yuck, weird, awkward. I think there may be something lacking in your love life? Just saying. 2. If a routing number gets you fired up just wait and see what an account number will do to ya ;) Pssssych
4. Meeting somebody in person for the first time and they begin to tell you something about themselves. All the while you are nodding your head and respond back with “Yeah, I saw in your Spring Break 2009 photo album on facebook you did that..” I continually fall victim to this. There really isn’t anything more cringe worthy than suddenly realizing you just made yourself look like the biggest facebook creeper on the planet.
5. Meeting a little baby for the first time and not knowing if it is a boy or girl. I am sure having the parents hear “Auwww…it is so cute, what’s its name??” makes them feel real proud. Sorry parentals, just please make sure you label your baby boy or girl if there is any question of what sex your child is. Please and thank you. This will save both of us many awkward moments in the future.
6. Taking self portraits in the mirror. I realized this the other day when shooting my photo session for my new shirts. How do you not feel awkward staring at yourself in the mirror, trying to act nonchalant, knowing that what you are taking is about to be posted for the world to see? This girl has got it down, but me..not so much. Thanks husband for reminding me how awkward the photos did turn out.
7. Reading aloud to a group of people when you suddenly come across a word you don’t know how to pronounce. I use the quiet/mumble method, meaning you just mumble how you think it would be said and say it 10 decibels lower than every other word you are saying. Not obvious at all. Okay, joke. It might be obvious.
8. Talking to somebody and your bra suddenly comes unclasped. Knowing there is a 50/50 chance the person you are conversing with notices your bra is up to your neck can be a little uncomfortable.
9. The insanely fast way I eat my food. Shawn has taken a real interest in noticing this trait of mine recently. It is a good feeling when your husband is staring at you across the table, wide eyed, jaw dropped, in amazement realizing his wife shovels in food like a 800 pound pig. I have never felt more attractive. I can’t help it people, I like to eat. Get over it.
No, this is not me. But a pretty good replica. I like to think I look a little nicer than this when inhaling my food.
9. Belting out Lion King’s “I just can’t wait to be King” this morning. Stomping my feet and raising my hands when it comes to the part “Everywhere you look I’m..standing spotlight” is the perfect start to my day. It is so much cooler in my head than what it is for you folks reading about it though. I am on a huge stage with thousands of people watching. I’ll let you know when it becomes a reality.
Is it weird I picture myself this way?!
10. English & Southern accents. I continually tell myself I am going to go a whole day speaking in either, but then I ruin it when I start out by saying “Hello, I am from British.” I can’t ever remember it is Britain. Once I get it down maybe I will post a tutorial on how to speak like a Brit. Ooooh, I am excited.
Have a beautiful day!